


Step Into My Parlor (Chained and Bound)

by KrissyG927



Series: Down the Dark Road [8]
Category: Red Canyon (2008)
Genre: All the Mac stuff, Bondage, Dubious Consent, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Just a trashy Mac oneshot, Now it's got 12 chapters, my usual bullshit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-02 05:06:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 54,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16780186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrissyG927/pseuds/KrissyG927
Summary: Step into my parlor... Said the spider to the fly...some Mac trash, you know, my specialty let me know what you think.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I think you will all like this chapter and also I don't know what's with all the Alice Cooper, but I think Mac would be a fan.

He was a smoke show and Julie's eyes followed him wherever he went every time he came into the bar, he was a regular of course and they saw each other almost every day. But he was trouble and everyone knew it. She had known Mac Garcia all her life, she had known Walter all her life and now she worked for Walter, slinging alcohol for the regulars and on occasion out of town visitors but they were few and far between. The older Mac got the better looking he was, gone was the skinny teenager he used to be, he was a man now.

A man that was so off limits to her it wasn't even funny and yet...

Those blue eyes and blonde hair, his dirty hands, everything about him was what she wanted.

Julie shook her head as she watched him walk into the bar, it was not a good idea to shit where she ate, she knew that and this job was her ticket out of this one-horse town. She had fifteen thousand dollars saved in a bank in Salt Lake City and she meant to get the fuck out of Dodge sooner rather than later. 

Getting tangled up with this guy was not on her agenda, no matter how long it had been since she had gotten laid.

His eyes were upon her from the moment he came through the door and he wasn't shy about it; Mac eye fucked her every chance he got, she was the only woman in town who wouldn't sleep with him and that made her the most important woman in his life.

Was it a hundred times she turned him down now since they were fourteen, it was probably more, but every once in a while it seemed like she was considering it. The reality was she had, more than once, but there were rumors about him and people talked.

Julie didn't want to end up chained in his basement with Stockholm syndrome or some shit, she reminded herself as he sauntered over to her end of the bar. Walter looked fit to be tied as he watched Mac grab a pool cue and head towards Julie. The guy never gave up, no matter how many times she said no he still flirted and tried to convince her to give it up to him.

Walter knew both of them all their lives and he'd bet money that Julie would never go for what Mac was trying to sell. But that made her all the more attractive to his son, he knew that all too well.

“Hey Jules,” Mac started and looked from the pool cue to her, “I got an offer for you...” He gave her a wolf's smile as he sat down in front of her, “But first let me buy you a shot.”

“Trying to get me hammered isn't going to help you...”

“Today's your birthday ain't it? Can't I buy a friend a drink on their birthday?”

Julie leaned over the bar and he leered, making no effort to hide that he was staring at her chest. What he wouldn't give to sink his teeth into those tits.

“Come on pour us a couple of tequilas, yeah?”

Julie relented, sometimes she did a shot with Mac or two and today was her birthday and part of her was touched that he remembered.

“Fine, just one, I'm not getting drunk with you tonight Mac.”

“Why not?” He grinned, “Afraid you won't be able to control yourself?”

“You wish,” She snarked as she poured. 

“I do wish as a matter of fact,” He reached for the shot and clicked it to hers, “Happy birthday, I sure wish you'd let me give you a present.”

They drank their shots and Mac attempted to stare her down. Julie knew better though and drew her eyes away from his as fast as she could. The truth was, she found him attractive, with his shaggy hair and unshaven face, but he was dangerous, everyone knew it.

“I'll pass...”

“That's a pity, no woman ever leaves my bed unsatisfied,” He put his glass down and motioned for her to pour him another, “I'll do things to you that you won't believe Julie...”

“Enough,” She sat his drink down and took another shot herself for courage, it was her birthday and she suddenly wanted to have a little fun, “If you're still here at closing we'll play pool for it, winner takes all.”

“I like the sound of that,” He winked, “I'll be here, maybe you wanna run home on your break and pack a bag.”

“You know damn well I can kick your ass at pool,” She laughed and he leaned close to her, so close that the hair stood up on the back of her neck as she felt his warm breath against her ear.

“I was never playing for such a desired prize before...” He whispered and ghosted his lips over her ear, there was no denying it; she felt it everywhere. This was why she never let him get close to her, “I'll win and then I'll take you home.”

With that statement, he walked away and Julie knew she had just walked into the spider's web.

3333333333333333333333333333333333333

The night was busy, but she could feel his eyes on her the entire time, burning into her. Julie didn't dare look at him because just the thought of this was making her knees weak. Why had she agreed to this foolishness? She knew better and she did not want to be another of Mac's whores, but today she turned thirty. She had been trying to get out of Cainville her entire life, and she would one day and until that day came she decided to have some fun for once.

Finally, he had lured her in and at closing time as Walter emptied the safe for the next days deposit Mac offered to lock up and the other man gave them both the side eye. He said nothing as he left except to tell them to shut off the lights and then he was gone. 

Mac locked the door behind his father and turned to see Julie chalking her cue stick and he smiled, it was true, she was a good player and there was no guarantee he would win. Still, he wasn't going to let her know he was thinking that.

“Just put that stick down right now honey, you know I'm gonna win this,” Mac said as he dimmed the lights in the place all except the light in the back where the pool table was.

Julie shook her head, “No you aren't,” She said as she put the balls into the rack and slid them over the table, “I'll let you break tho.”

“Oh you will, will you?” He answered as he walked towards her, she loved to watch him walk, this was true, his stride was confident and sexy, and just a little bit scary.

“Go ahead Mac,” Julie teased.

She pulled the rack up and he put the cue ball on the table, “Call it,” He leaned down and hit the ball into the others.

“Stripes,” Mac said as he watched two striped balls go into the first pocket.

“Lucky shot,” She said as he went for another ball and missed.

“Goddammit, woman you fucked up my concentration.” He snapped as she walked over to take her shot.

“I don't know what you're talking about,” She said as she effortlessly sunk three solid balls one after the other. When she looked over at him Mac rolled his eyes.

“I got two hundred dollars in my pocket that says you won't make the next shot,” He countered and then his face was comical as he watched her make the shot.  
Julie stood up and smiled and he reached into his pocket and shoved the bills into her hand.

“You're a fucking shark is what you are.” But she could tell he wasn't mad, everyone knew he dealt with much larger sums of money in his “business” and this was nothing to him, pennies even.

“You asked for it,” She leaned over to set up her next shot and finally she missed one.

“Looks like your lucky streak is coming to an end,” He laughed.

3333333333333333333333333333

There were hardly any balls left on the table and Julie was about to make the winning shot. Mac was going to be out two hundred dollars and get no pussy for his trouble either. This just sucked all the way around. He was not averse to taking what he wanted, and often he did, but not from her. 

If he had wanted to take it from Julie, he would have long ago, he wanted her to give it to him, but tonight was not going to be the night. He sighed as he watched her ass as she bent over and wished he'd be getting a chance to smack it tonight, but that was not happening.

She carefully aimed at the eight ball and sent her cue ball across the table. Mac watched as the eight ball went into the pocket and shook his head in defeat, this was some shit, but then the cue ball followed it. He couldn't believe his eyes, she had scratched!

“You scratched!” Mac exclaimed, “I fucking won!” He threw his cue stick back on the rack and turned to her, “I can't believe you scratched,” And then he knew, or thought he knew that she had done it on purpose.

Then he was coming toward her.

“Buckle up sweetheart,” He didn't even wait for her to answer, he picked her up and sat her on the pool table as he pawed at her shirt, “Take it off...” He demanded, “Pay me fair and square...”

Julie obeyed because she wanted to and pulled her t-shirt that said Luna Mesa on it over her head, Mac looked like he had died and gone to heaven, she had on a black lace push up bra and her creamy white skin called to him to plunder it.

“Jesus, fucking Christ, this was so worth the wait,” Then his lips were on hers pushing them apart to give her the dirtiest kiss she had ever had. If he fucked like he kissed she was in for it tonight, a small moan escaped her lips and he smiled against her mouth.

“Don't get all full of yourself...” Julie countered but he just laughed and kissed her again. He knew what the fuck he was doing and then she felt his hands on her thighs pulling her legs apart. Mac stopped for a second and looked her in the eye as he pulled first her right boot off and tossed it over his shoulder and then the left. Then he grasped her thighs and pulled her against him.

“You feel that baby, that's what you do to me, this is gonna be a night you won't soon forget...” He pulled her against him and moved his hips, “You scratched on purpose cause you want some of this.”

“Please,” She huffed as if it was impossible that she would do such a thing but he knew just the same, even if she never admitted it. She could feel him against her, he was big, thick, it was going to hurt.

“The question is, what do do with you first...” He was all lips and hands then on her neck and over her breasts, first one then the other, until there was a wet stain on her bra and she was ready to climb the wall.

Mac just smirked at her, he knew all to well how to make a woman go crazy and she was going to find out all about it by the time he was done with her.  
“Told ya,” Was all he said then he was back at it swiping his teeth over her neck and making her moan again. This time she gave in and dug her hands into his hair.  
“If you tell anyone about this, I'm never talking to you again.” Julie groaned, still not wanting to give him the satisfaction of winning.

“Oh fuck no, that wasn't the deal,” He stood back and grabbed at her black leggings, “Time to get my prize and I'm telling everyone.”

Julie didn't stop him as he peeled the black pants off of her, “Whatever, I'm the last one around here you haven't fucked anyway, have your fun, but you better have a condom or this is not happening.”

“Not so fast there Jules,” He purred as he backed up and dropped her leggings, “Touch them for me.”

Julie obeyed, surprised that she liked being ordered around and watched his eyes as he licked his lips and watched her run her hands over her bra, “Of course I scratched on purpose,” She slid her fingers inside her bra and watched his breathing get ragged and shallow, “I've heard all about you, it's about time I found out for myself don't you think?”

She never took her eyes from him as she ran her fingers over her nipples and gave him a show that almost made him cum in his pants like a horny teenager. Maybe he wasn't as in control of this as he thought, and that would be a first.

“God damn yea that's it, baby,” Then he was on her again, this time sucking on her neck until it made a deep purple bruise, marking her as his own and moving his hand down towards her panties. To his delight he found them wet and smiled, licking her neck, “You want that there,” He slid his tongue against her collarbone, right in the spot most women liked and she was no different, he could feel her shudder, “I think its time to go down,” He moaned as he slipped his fat middle finger inside her panties, “You want that,” She nodded, “Tell me,” He kissed along her jawline and pushed his finger inside her as far as he could, “Tell me,”

“Yes...”

“Yes, what?”

He pushed his finger in and out of her and swiped his thumb against her clit and Julie almost levitated off the table. It was crazy how they were pawing at each other like they were sixteen or something but neither of them was stopping.

“You want my mouth there? My tongue?” He moaned in her ear, “...say it say you want me to eat that pussy.”

“Come on,” She yanked at his hair, trying to get his head down where she wanted it.

“Jokes on you I like it rough,” He growled and ripped her lacy panties right off, “Ever think when you were in Drama club and I was in the back row makin fun of ya that we'd end up like this?”

“Mac,” She shrieked, “Shut your yap and fucking do it.”

In one motion he pushed her back by the throat, and she gasped in surprise, with one hand Mac held her down as he watched her breasts rise and fall covered in black lace for a moment, then he dipped his head down between her legs, “I love how you beg...” She kicked her legs out in protest and he tightened his hand on her throat as he licked her nice and slow with the flat of his tongue.

“...oh fucccckkkkk,”

“That's right, I've been fucking telling you for years,” He opened his mouth wide and shoved his tongue inside of her and she slapped her hand down on the felt of the pool table. He still held her by the throat and she was dizzy, but oh how good it felt, “You wanna cum?”

“I need it...”

“Maybe I won't let ya,” He stopped and looked up at her, his hand was bruising her throat now but he had a feeling she was more of a freak than he thought, “Maybe you better ask nice.”

“Please,” She answered immediately.

She made no move to remove his hand and he dove back down between her legs and squeezed her beautiful neck some more. Julie Conroy was a gasper, and that was just about the best news he could have gotten that night. Possibly she hadn't even known it until tonight when he worked his magic on her, Mac smiled to himself and went in for the kill.

As promised he licked every inch of her determined to make her cum all over his father's prized pool table, and just the thought of it made his cock throb and ache. He could tell she was close as he swirled his tongue around and over her clit, then added his fingers into the mix again in and out of her slowly and then it happened.

Julie screamed like a banshee and her entire body stiffened as he let go of her neck and watched her arms and legs flail in pleasure. He watched a red glow move over her chest as she came down from what had to be one of the hardest orgasms he had ever witnessed. When was the last time she got fucking laid he wondered, it seemed to go on and on.

Then she was sitting up and pulling him to her trying to unzip his pants and he grabbed her hand and took it away. 

“Let's go,” He pulled her down, “Get your shit back on, what I want to do with you I need a bed, you're coming home with me.”

Julie pulled her shirt over her head and searched for her leggings, “You ripped my underwear you creep,” she sassed.

“Good,” He lit a cigarette and inhaled it deeply, “Now shut the fuck up and come on.”

More to come...


	2. TWO

Mac drove like his ass was on fire, somehow he had not thought it would go down this way, something made tonight different than any other night he hit on her. Julie had resisted his advances for years, yet tonight she sat next to him in his beat up old truck and he had her underwear in his back pocket.

Julie was quiet, which was unusual for her too, but he didn't care about that he wasn't planning on doing a whole lot of talking anyway. Julie was like his white whale, he laughed to himself, they had read Moby Dick in English class so many years ago. She had been the untouchable one and now he got to touch and planned on doing a lot more touching before the night was over.

When he opened the door Julie looked around his house, she hadn't been here since they were kids, but it had gone to shit since he was the only one there now. The walls were littered with pictures of spiders and there was trash everywhere, empty pizza boxes, beer bottles, and drug paraphernalia littered the place.

“Glad you cleaned up for my visit,” Julie looked around and in a second he was behind her and pulling her against him, she could feel his breath on her neck as his hands went for her breasts.

“You keep running your mouth, I'm gonna shut you up,” He brought his hand up over her neck and squeezed noticing her sharp intake of breath, she liked it, “With my cock down your throat.”

“Did you at least change your sheets since the last person was here?”

Mac laughed at that, “Well, I had to they were soaked...”

“You're fucking gross...”

“Right, that's why you're here ain't it, cause I'm so gross,” He reached down into her pants and stroked his hand over her, she was wet and responsive to his touch and her knees buckled, “Yeah, that's what I thought.”

After a minute of torturing her until she was about to melt into the floor with his hands, Mac stopped and snickered at her as she groaned in frustration, “All in good time...”

“Fuck you,” She whispered.

“Oh, it's you who's getting fucked tonight, I'm gonna fuck you so good...” He crooned as they made their way into his bedroom which to her surprise wasn't as disgusting as the rest of the house. There were spiders on that wall too, some of the drawings were quite good.

“What's with the spiders?”

“Anyone ever tell you that you talk too much,” He didn't wait for her answer, just dove in for another scorching kiss, pushed her lips apart roughly with his and shoved his tongue into her mouth. The scruff on his face scratched her skin, but she didn't care. He was digging his fingers into her hair and she didn't care about that either; if she was going to fuck this guy she was going to fuck this guy. 

“All the time...”

“Well shut up,” He growled in her ear, and pulled her face closer by her hair, “I can't wait to get you stripped on my bed.”

His words were exciting her, there was no doubt about it, this was Mac at 100 miles an hour, way more shit talking than he ever did in the bar.

“Make me,” She challenged.

Mac had her off her feet and laid out on the bed so fast her head spun. He was all hands as he climbed on top of her and pressed his hard body against her, making sure he was between her legs. Julie felt his dick against her and even though she didn't want to want him, she did. His lips were on hers again, devouring her mouth while he moved his pelvis in circles to give her a preview of what she was going to get really soon.

Mac gazed at her with lust hooded eyes, “I've been dreaming of throwing you around this bed since I was twelve.”

“Thought you weren't into talking...” Julie asked.

“No, I said I wasn't into you talking unless you're screaming my name which you will be very soon.”

Mac yanked her pants off, her shirt and her bra, then knelt up to take off his shirt and pants. She couldn't help but take in how beautiful he was as she watched, his dick was hard and at attention and all bets were off now. 

“Open your legs and keep them open,” He demanded as he leaned down and ran his teeth over the top of her right breast, pausing to suck and leave another mark on her.

“Will you cool it with the hickeys, Jesus Christ Mac, what are we fifteen,” Julie pushed to get his head off of her chest.

“No,” He bit into the side of her breast just enough to hurt her, smiling as she winced and pushed at his head again, but he was way stronger than she was, “I'll put them wherever I want, now open your legs, I'm not gonna tell you again.”

Mac pushed himself down so she had no choice now but to let her knees touch the bed on either side of her. He looked down at her and licked his lips.

“Happy now?” She snarked as he ran his hands over her ribs and squeezed, running his thumbs over either side of her breasts.

“Yup.” He gazed down at her, letting his thumbs graze her nipples just for a second, “I'm gonna fuck your brains out so buckle up sweetheart.”

He didn't give her a chance to answer before she felt his teeth on her thigh and his hands going lower. It was a shame this was only going to be a one-time thing, but her mind was even more made up. She had to get out of town as soon as possible.

Mac nipped at her thigh and spread her legs wide, licking her skin and blowing hot air across it. Julie moaned and flexed her legs, closing then slightly and he smacked the side of her ass.

“Don't you fucking move unless I tell you to,” He smacked her again for good measure and ran his tongue over her pussy like it was his day job.

Julie slid down trying to get every bit of him, whatever he was giving wasn't enough, she needed more and struggled to get it. Mac licked at her flesh, all over her, driving her into oblivion with his tongue and fingers. Julie moaned out loud, causing him to step it up more by concentration on her clit, making waves with his tongue against it as his hand slid up around her ribs to her breast and she was almost there. Julie hovered at the cliff aching to fall over and he held her there, minute by minute, she was about to come apart and Mac knew it too. With a wicked grin, he stopped enjoying her frustration and reveling in how heavy her breathing was because of what he was doing to her.

“Goddammit...” She groaned as he lifted her legs hooking them under his arms and teased her entrance with the tip of his cock. Again she was about to cum and he prevented it as he stopped again to slide a condom down his shaft. Julie let out a sigh of frustration again and he smiled, this was going to be so good when he finally allowed her to cum and his dick ached just thinking about it.

“Get ready, here it comes,” Mac announced and pushed inside of her without any more fanfare at all, Julie had been right, he was thick and huge and it hurt just a little bit. The sensation of him stretching her hurt in the best way possible, just enough; she had never been filled up so perfectly before. As she felt him going in and out of her it burned deliciously, bringing her once again to the edge.

If she didn't get out of town fast she could see herself coming down with dick sickness and following him around like a dog begging for scraps and that was not her. Mac was the kind of guy you fucked and didn't tell anybody about it, but she would salivate at the sight of him now, knowing what he could do to her.

He was convinced he had the answer to her prayers in his pants and maybe he did, but for all that bravado he usually had she was bringing him to his knees. Good pussy in this town was hard to find, most was used up and he was tired sometimes of trading drugs for sex, it all got so old.

Mac's head was about to explode Julie was warm and tight around him and he groaned out loud from the pure bliss he felt. Fucking a girl who didn't have an agenda was a treat, they were both just there to get off and nothing more.

“Oh fuck yes!” Mac growled and pushed harder and harder, “Who fucks you right Jules, say it” He demanded as he impaled her on his huge cock, “Who fucks you right?”

“You do,” She gasped out and it was like a sob, “You do.”

“Only me,” He dug his fingers into her hips hard, leaving his handprints there, “This pussy is mine, goddammit, MINE!”

“Yes, your pussy!” She breathed out as sweat dripped all over her face, some from him above her and some her own, “Yours...it's yours, yours.”

He slammed his hips into her and she met him thrust for thrust, she was gonna make him cum fast, she was so fucking tight, so he upped the ante bringing his hand down to stroke her clit where their bodies were joined, “Come on Jules, give it to me, cum on me, give it to me now!”

She moved her hips against him and his slippery fingers had her out of her mind again in no time. He had mad skills, the things she had heard about him were right, more than right.

“Oh god Mac,” She moaned, “Please don't stop, please don't stop, please don't stop.”

With a grin on his lips, he continued his dirty work, pausing to kiss her hard until she saw white behind her eyes and in that final moment he had his hands around her neck again as her whole body contracted against his. The string of curses she let loose in his small bedroom was almost shocking to him, but then, everything about her this night was shocking him.

In one movement he grabbed her by the hand and flipped her over onto her stomach, pulling her hips against his and laying another smack on her ass as he pushed inside her again. 

SMACK, he hit her ass again and she moaned again and again until she felt like she couldn't stand it anymore. He was a good time, what was the saying, I'm here for a good time not a long time? That described this perfectly in her mind.

With every smack he gave her as he fucked her this way, the walls of her pussy trembled around him and he was a goner. Sex like this didn't come along every day, and both of them knew it by now.

“You got a dirty mouth I didn't know about,” He whispered into her ear as he watched himself moving in and out of her, “I fuckin love it.”

There was a reason they never did this before. He could distract her and she couldn't have that. Julie was a woman with a plan, and that was it. But this was as good as it got as far as she was concerned and she had no regrets.

“Oh fuck I'm gonna cum,” He pulled her back against his chest and the sweat from both of them was slippery, making him hold her tight as he unloaded inside of her, “You're making me love you!” 

Exhausted and spent he collapsed on top of her and they both laid there catching their breath. The weight of his body on her back pushed her into the mattress and it felt...sweet.

“Jesus, I'm gonna need recovery time before we go again...” Mac laughed, “That's some bomb pussy you got there.”

Mac rolled off of her and lit a cigarette, Julies stayed still and he turned to her and watched her breathing until it started to settle down. It took her a while to pull herself back together.

“You gonna make it?” He laughed.

She nodded and turned her head to him and he offered her a drag, placing the cigarette in her mouth, then Mac laid on his back staring at the dirty ceiling above them.

“Ya sure?” He laughed again, “Don't say I didn't tell you so,” He spoke with the cigarette hanging out of his mouth, “We should have started this a long time ago.”

“I'm leaving...” Julie said, quietly, “I have money saved for Design School.”

“I know, Walter told me you gave notice, I'm happy for ya this town ain't for you, never was. Nothing here for a woman except a bartending gig, selling drugs or cock riding, and none of them is the profession for you.” He blew the smoke out, “Although you ride cock pretty good Jules, I gotta say; you shoulda gave in to me a long time ago.”

She pushed up on her forearms and took the cigarette from him and took a drag, “Nope, no distractions from my goals...not even you, especially you.”

“Well, ain't that just what I like about you most of all, determination just like me.” Mac said taking another drag of the cigarette, “You are a good fuck though.”

“So are you,” She turned to look at him, “Don't let it go to your head.”

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Julie closed her suitcase on the bed and looked around the room of the apartment she had lived in since her parents died. It was time to go and she wouldn't put it off any longer. She had given Walter two weeks notice on her birthday before she fucked Mac the first time and fucked him every day since she blew a game of pool and gave into something that was brewing between them for years.

But she had planned this for years too and it was time to go, he didn't come to say goodbye, but it was understood that anytime she was back in town he'd be ready for another game of pool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking of a part three in my head. So stay tuned for that. In the meantime xoxoxoxoxo Krissy.


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac takes a road trip.

Julie's footsteps crackled in the gravel on the path to her dorm room that she followed every day on a cold November night, although it was late that usually didn't bother her, this was a safe campus with very low crime, but tonight the moon was full and cast an eerie glow all around her. She shrugged it off as she picked up her step. This was a safe campus, most people were in the LDS church, that was part of it but also it was just filled with nice people.

There was very little she missed about her hometown, some things of course but this had been the best choice she could have made for herself and she loved living in the city. In the three months since she left Cainville, she had made a nice life for herself, with friends and work, school was going better than she expected since she was much older than the other students.

It didn't seem to matter and she was accepted and happy.

Tonight she was on edge though, either from the moon or just a wicked feeling that was coming over her. Something was just a little bit off about the darkness before and behind her, a feeling she couldn't quite shake off. She should have let Greg meet her like he wanted to and now it was too late.

Someone was behind her and she reached into her pocket casually for the Jackknife she always carried as she walked, grasping the handle as she heard footsteps behind her now. She didn't want the person behind her to know she had a weapon. But suddenly there was an arm around her neck and she was pulled against a granite hard body.

"Drop it," He growled into her ear and she recognized that gravely sexy voice of his right away, the sound that always did things to her insides. She hadn't heard his voice in months but she remembered it and remembered what he could do to her.

"Jesus Christ Mac," Julie spun around to face him, "I almost stuck you, you idiot!"

She backed up and saw that he was laughing at her, his eyes merry and dancing in the light from his zippo.

"Right," He lit a cigarette, "Like I'm scared of that little pig sticker. "

"What do you want?" She exclaimed and he rolled his eyes.

"What do you think?" He inhaled deeply and let the smoke out slowly never taking his eyes from hers and already she could feel the heat.

They stared each other down in the darkness, but Mac noticed a small quirk to her lip. Bingo, she was his.

"I have finals to study for," Julie protested despite the desire that he always aroused in her, he was here to get laid and as much as she didn't want to she knew she'd follow him wherever he led. This was the whole reason for the distance, she could have gone to online school, but she had to get away from him. Mac had a kind of control over her that was both disturbing and arousing, once it was on with them, it was on.

"Tough shit, I know you. You've already been studying plenty, tonight you're coming with me..."

"Mac," She continued and he ignored her protest and took her hand and shoved it against the front of his pants, he was hard just from following her, from looking at her in the dark like a stalker. It had been a whim to drive up here for him, and now that he was here he wasn't taking no for an answer.

"Tell me you don't miss that," He said as he pressed her hand harder against his erection, nine inches of thick wonderful cock and she tried to act like it didn't phase her.

"How do you know I don't have another guy?"

"You don't,"

"Oh," She laughed, "What, cause you ruined me for all other men."

"You ruined me..." He winked at her and handed her the cigarette.

"Bullshit," She replied and took a drag and handed it back to him, placing the cigarette between his lips; Mac took her by the arm.

"Foreplay's over. Let's go," He pulled her towards where he had come from, the parking lot where his truck was illegally parked.

"Mac, I'm busy."

"Don't care..."

"Stop manhandling me," Julie protested.

"You love it," He replied as if he was sure she did love it.

////////////////////

When they got to the parking lot Mac smoked the last of his cigarette and backed her up against the truck right away. He was done waiting and done dicking around, and he tossed the cigarette away. He was all wet lips and grabby hands all over her body, Julie sighed as he nipped at her neck and grabbed her ass as he pressed into her.

"I'd fuck you right here if I could, but that rent a cop looks like he'd enjoy the show and I ain't into it.” He nodded across the parking lot at the guy in the guard house.

"Shocking I had you pegged for an exhibitionist for sure. " She laughed, "He's not even looking. You could be a Ted Bundy over here and he's not even paying attention, hey buddy over here.” She waved at the gatehouse, “There's a rape in progress."

Mac chuckled at that, “As if I ever forced you, Shhh..." Then his lips were on hers, "That's what you got a knife for right ?"

He pushed his hard dick against her and watched as her lips parted in the smallest of moans. With a wide smile against her neck, he took the opportunity to lick up her neck to her lips and finally dip his tongue into her mouth, just enough to leave her wanting more.

"You're mine," He crooned into her ear, as he dug his hands into her hair. Her body tingled at his touch, as always, months apart didn't change a thing.

"So you keep telling me..." Julie answered.

"You got a smart mouth, Jules," He wound his hand in her hair and pulled, yanking her head back. His lips touched hers again and he shoved his tongue into her mouth roughly, kissing her thoroughly and completely this time.

"Well, isn't that part of the reason you're here?" She was so glad he was there but she could never let him know it. Julie hadn't been with any other guys despite what she told him. Part of it was time, she worked bartending off campus and carried a full workload at school, but part of it was knowing the fuck of her life wasn't in Salt Lake City.

"All this sweet talk is making my dick throb," Mac groaned as he kissed her again and shoved his pelvis against hers, imagining being inside of her. His dick had been aching for her for months.

"You're killing me with all this romance..." Julie snarked and he just pushed his dick against her more. Already he was about to lose his mind, no other women affected him like she did. He'd spent the last three months knee deep in pussy trying to forget her and it just wasn't happening.

"Admit it," He licked her neck, "No one can do you like I can."

"You admit it," She said and he stopped and opened the car door. 

"Just get in." He demanded, taking her by the arm again.

From across the parking lot, they heard someone calling her name and Mac looked over at a guy standing on the steps of the Library on the other side of the parking lot. What was this shit now?

“Julie, Julie are you ok,” The man yelled, still not alerting the rent a cop on the other side of the lot.

“Oh, what the fuck?” Mac turned towards where the voice came from and responded, “She's fine run along buddy.”

“Mac I know him, stop it.”

“How well you know him,” He said gripping her arm harder now, he was jealous and he didn't like that feeling one bit. Julie shook his grip and pulled away shooting him a dirty look which he returned.

“None of your business,” She turned, “Greg it's ok.”

“I'll come down,” Greg said as he took the steps two at a time probably convinced she was in danger, Mac's janky truck and attitude notwithstanding.

“Jesus fuckin christ,” Mac lit a cigarette and turned to Julie, “We're going to have a talk, after...”

“Greg it's fine, this is a friend from home.” She said as the man approached them and Mac sized him up, making it perfectly clear that Julie was with him. If he could have pissed on her leg he would have. He let the cigarette dangle from his lips as he sized the man before him up. No way Jules would fuck this guy, not after him. 

“Alright, you sure,” Greg asked, “I'm Greg.”

“Names Mac,” Mac said as the other man held out his hand, Mac refused to shake, preferring to stare daggers at him. If she did fuck him he would have to make time to come back and kick the shit out of the guy before he left.

“It's ok Greg, we're just leaving,”

Greg looked at her for some sign of distress, “Can I get a ride?” He said as Mac once again eased Julie towards the seat in his truck.

“Nope, we got private things to do...” Mac said as he met Greg's eyes. The message was clear, back off and stay away from what belongs to me.

“Julie?” Greg asked.

“It's fine, I'll see you for brunch tomorrow...” Julie said as she sat down in the seat and Mac shut the door, “And study group.”

“No, you won't,” Mac turned and now he pissed all over her leg, figuratively, “We won't be done fucking by then, I drove a long way, I intend to make it worth my while.”

He walked around to the driver's side, got in and started the truck. For effect and intimidation, he revved the engine and then laid down rubber across the parking lot and out into the street.

“You're such a dick...”

“What's that,” He laughed as he flicked his cigarette out the window, “ You wanna suck my dick?”

Julie casually flipped him the bird and he smiled, it was good to see her.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Mac had already rented a hotel room and on the way there he pawed at her during every stop light and when they pulled into the parking lot he turned off the truck and pulled her onto his lap. They were forehead to forehead and he slid his hands up the back of her shirt. Her skin was hot to touch and he was burning up.

“You fuck him?”

“What's it to ya?”

“That's a no,” He answered and Julie shrugged, there was no agreement between them, no friends with benefits arrangement or anything. He really had no claim over her at all.

“I've been too busy...”

“Good,” He pulled her close, shoved her shirt up and attached his lips to the side of her right breast, “ Cause I intend to give you a good hard fuck,” He growled as she pushed herself down on his lap, she could feel his cock through the thin leggings she wore, “God knows you probably need it.”

It had been three months since she had sex and he was the last one, she was ready, more than ready, even if she didn't want him to know that. His words stirred her up, the more trash he talked the better, that just made it so much more exciting for her.

“You were pretty sure of yourself, getting a hotel and what not,” She laughed as he kissed up her neck, with his hot, wet mouth.

“You're here ain't ya,” His hand palmed her other breast and squeezed just enough. Julie loved his touch, he was just rough enough.

“And I'm getting cold,” She pulled her shirt down.

“In a hurry are ya?”

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

He opened the door and immediately had her against the door when it shut. Putting both hands up over her head, he trapped her and looked down at her. He was at least six inches taller than her and she looked up and met his eyes. Mac yanked her shirt over her head and dropped it on the floor, she hadn't bothered with a bra and he grinned wickedly, then shucked off his own shirt, never taking his eyes from hers. 

He craved this eye contact after fucking so many nameless faceless women, the girl was the one he wanted to look at, to see. The entire drive to the city he couldn't stop thinking about her, it was a paradox of how hard he had tried to forget her.

Just one more time to get her out of his system. Then he could go home and live his life in peace. Maybe it wouldn't be as good and he could forget her once and for all. That week or two they had spent fucking before she left for school was something he could not forget.

Julie had stayed in bed with him almost the whole week, only leaving to go to work and get food. Walter had been pissed because he couldn't tear himself away from her to even cook for him, and the older man had been glad to see her go. He liked her fine, but no woman should be leading his kid around by his dick, thank you very much. 

“Let's go,” Mac commanded as he pulled her to him and lifted her up, pushing her back against the door, the feeling of their bodies so close together, and his grip on her so tight made her moan out loud. Her legs went around his waist instinctively and he practically dry fucked her into the next room. He pulled her boots off without missing a beat and toed his off all the while jamming his hips against hers obscenely. 

They were all hands pawing at each other suddenly, both of them equally trying to get the other one's clothes off. It wasn't fast enough, every time, but this time especially since they hadn't been together in so long.

“Oh fuck!” Mac groaned and pulled at her leggings, unable to get them off and frustrated now beyond belief he sat her on her feet for all of two seconds as he got her out of her clothes. Unbuckling his pants he picked her up again and pushed his throbbing cock inside her in one motion as her back hit the door with a grunt.

“Oh fuck, oh Jesus...” Julie gripped his strong hard shoulders as he pushed against her, “Mac!”

He didn't answer right away, just gripped her tighter and rammed his hips into hers, again and again, growling like an animal. She was so warm and tight it was making his head spin, the sensation of her holding onto him had him on the edge already.

“You been missing this cock girl,” Mac groaned as he looked down and watched himself going in and out of her tight heat, “This what you been needing.”

Already she was sweating, “Yes! fuck yes! I need it!” She screamed, as annoyed as she had been that he showed up uninvited she pulled his face to hers and kissed him dirty. Julie was damn happy he was there now giving it to her against the door of a cheap hotel room.

He adjusted his grip on her thighs and pulled her closer, going as deep as possible, and unable to slow down, not this time, he needed it too much. Mac's body was hot and hard against hers and Julie was on sensory overload, his dirty mouth always drove her wild.

“You take it, Jules, you take all of this cock,” He growled, “Take it, take it! Oh, fuck yes!”

Her nails raked over his shoulders and down his back and Mac felt every hair stand up on his body. Some women just had the magic touch, this one was worth the two hour drive, and any aggravation she caused him with her smart mouth. 

Julie felt him deep inside of her, and a familiar pull started in her belly and she gripped him harder, thrusting her hips into his.

“Give it to me, give it to me Mac, Fuck me.”

Mac pushed away from the wall and stumbled to the bed dropping her and not missing a beat continuing to pound into her like his life depended on it. He rolled over so that she was on top of him, not something he did often, but often he did it with her. Giving up just a little control for a brief second felt good to him, he wasn't going to psychoanalyze the reason why he could only do it with Julie.

“That's it, baby,” He smacked the side of her hip, “You like that?”

She nodded and he smacked her again and again, he could feel her body reacting, and with every sting of his hand, she moaned.

“Ride it you fucking freak.” He yelled as he kept slapping her ass until her skin was pink and he was about to blow his load.

Bringing his hands up over her hips to slow her down for a second before it was over too soon, he looked up at her, her eyes were closed and she was so beautiful at that moment to him. Shaking the thought from his head then he moved her faster and faster, Julie leaned back, arching her back and giving him a show. 

“Fuck me, Mac, fuck me good.” She leaned down and kissed him, gripping his hair, then he rolled them both over again so he was on top.

“You better not have fucked that guy,” Mac grabbed her by her hands and held them down, “You belong to me.” Mac snarled as he reached down between them and stroked her clit, still holding her wrists with his other hand. She was so fuckin wet, “This,” He growled, “Belongs to me, only me, say it!.”

“Only you...” Julie answered, ready to say anything so he would keep going, she was almost there. Just a few more seconds, it was building and building, she was burning hot, sweating and about to explode. Soon Julie was cumming so hard, filled with his cock, and she begged him not to stop. When it happened everything went black behind her eyes and she felt it from her head to her toes, “Yes, oh God, yes!” She threw her head back and let it all wash over her, it seemed to take forever as wave after wave flowed over her from head to toe.

Her nails dug into his back and the squeezing from her orgasm around his cock sent him over the edge right after her and he was screaming mindlessly, “You. Are. My. Whore.” as he unloaded every drop inside of her, his fingers digging into her hips as he pulled her against him only then realizing he hadn't worn a condom.

After a minute to reflect on the fact that he'd forgotten something he never forgot about Mac rolled over and lit a cigarette, taking a long drag of it he turned to her and handed it to her.

“You ever fuck anyone else,” He blew the smoke out, “And I'll kill you both.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)


	4. Four

Mac threw himself into work after he got home from plowing Julie, in his words, for three days at Thanksgiving time and tried hard to push her from his mind. Walter was pleased that he was back to normal and cooking and selling like he was supposed to be instead of chasing pussy all over Utah. No woman was worth that, not even his sweet Delilah, god rest her soul. 

She didn't contact him either, and that was good. It was best for them to keep their distance and do what the fuck they needed to do instead of giving into this obsession. Then one day in early January Julie got up early and peed on a stick. She already knew, her body was in immediate revolt almost from conception, Mac's parasite made itself known right from the jump, no big surprise, but this just confirmed it.

Julie had been throwing up daily for a week and her period was way overdue, the range of emotions she went through even before it was confirmed was exhausting, but in the end, she knew what the right thing to do was. Julie had been adopted, an abandoned baby in a park at the age of a week old; if a jogger hadn't happened by she would have been dead, despite it being June in Los Angeles. Her wonderful parents had adopted her and taken her to Utah.

Because of her history, Julie could never hurt a baby, no matter who the father was, and she had been so careful too. But not with Mac because he did something that no one else did to her. It was scary, he made her lose her guard and that was a bad thing.

Since she had time to think it over, Julie knew it would do no good to keep it from him, so she returned to Cainville while on winter break from school. Three hours of a drive to find out at The Luna Mesa that he was out in the caves, so she got a room at the hotel next to the bar that Walter ran and waited for him to show up.  
Part of her wanted to leave but someone would tell him she had been there, that would be worse if he found out anything before she had a chance to tell him herself it would be a shit show. There was something very dangerous about him, appealing yes, it was that too. But if he found out she was pregnant and she hadn't told him, there would be hell to pay.

The next day Mac was back in town and banging on her hotel door at seven in the morning after he had seen her car parked in the parking lot. She drove her late father's early model Jaguar, so he knew the car right away. Who else drove an old beat up rusted out car from the '80s, her that's who. 

Half asleep and rubbing her eyes Julie opened the door and he busted in like he owned the place. Slamming the door behind him, his hands were on her in an instant as he backed her up until they both landed on the bed. They didn't even speak and his mouth was on hers like he was starving to death, and his hands went under her t-shirt and down into her sleep shorts with wild aggression.

Julie was equally aggressive with him, which she hadn't intended, but everything with the two of them was unintended. Her hands wound into his hair and pulled as he kissed her dirty, fucking her mouth with his tongue. A strangled moan escaped her lips as both their hands fumbled with the buckle and zipper of his pants. 

Mac had her shirt off in a second and he was all over her chest with his hot, wet mouth, as Julie pulled his shirt open, popping all the buttons, and making him laugh as they clattered across the floor. He made quick work of sliding his tongue across her right nipple until she was ready to scream out, then brought his palm down over her other breast. She thrashed on the bed and he ate it up with a spoon, this girl made him feel like a rock star.

He smelled like crack and three days of sweat and dirt, he was probably still high and she didn't fucking care. Mac's lips never left her nipple and his fingers went to the other one, plucking both of them to hardness; her hands dug into his hair in ecstasy and she moaned out loud.

“Oh God Mac,” She pulled him closer by his hair, “Oh my God.”

“I am your God,” He groaned, and she could feel him grinning as he made his way from one breast to the next with his mouth, leaving a wet trail that he then blew hot air on. There were goosebumps all over her body and her skin tingled as his breath traveled over her nipples, she felt it both where he touched and licked her and everywhere else, “Don't forget that.” 

Julie arched her back like a cat, ignored his arrogant comments and held his face against her chest as she started to tremble. She could feel his hands traveling over the elastic of her panties, then his thumbs were at the center. She knew she was wet, she could feel it and she could feel his lips against her breast, he had smiled again.

“That's a good girl,” He growled into her ear, “So wet for me.”

Mac spread her legs wide and gazed down at her damp panties, ran his finger over them right up the center, stopping right over her clit. He looked up at her and she was breathing heavily now, and trying to sit up on her elbows to see. He pushed her down and slowly ran his finger over the bundle of nerves that was his main focus now and she moaned deep in her throat.

“God damn, you're so...”

“What?” He asked, still running his fingertips back and forth over her panties.

“So good...” She breathed out, it was all so erotic, despite his barging in on her and attacking her straight away, despite how dirty and gross he was at the moment, that didn't matter, “Mmmmmmm.” She purred.

“I know, why the fuck else would you keep coming back for more.” He snarled as he brought one leg up onto the bed and then the other, so her feet were flat on the bed, “Open those legs for me and keep 'em open.”

She obeyed and soon felt the scruff of his beard on her inner thigh, then his hands as he slowly made his way up and her legs shook in anticipation. He brought his lips to her inner thigh and lay wet open-mouthed kisses along both her legs on the way to his goal. Julie trembled in anticipation of what was coming next.

“You fuckin tease, goddammit,” Her eyes closed, her legs opened wider, she dug her hand into his hair and pushed his face against her body where she wanted him. Her body always wanted him, no matter how much her mind told her he was a bad idea.

He looked up even though he knew she couldn't see him clearly, “Shut up and take it.” He commanded as he bit her inner thigh, then sucked hard. He soothed the sting with his tongue and decided to take it up a notch. Mac pulled her panties aside and slid his fingers against her wet lips, then inside her for what seemed like only seconds to her, and then pulled them out. She groaned out loud as he ran his wet fingers slowly over the cloth of her underwear again from the back to the front.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, Mac,” She breathed out, “I need to...”

“What do you need Jules, what do you need?” He purred, still working her over with his fingers against her panties, and she was approaching a frenzy, “Tell me.”

“I need to cum,” She moaned, “Oh, please.”

“Not yet,” He slid her panties off and tossed them over his shoulder, “Not till I say you can.”

Julie felt his hands coming down her legs slower than molasses until finally, finally, he licked her with the flat of his tongue. She gripped the sheets on either side of her and cried out in sweet agony. He was the devil with that tongue and she would follow him right to hell for more.

“You wanna cum?” He asked and slid his tongue inside of her, then replaced it with his finger as he ravenously licked all around her pussy, then teased her clit just for a second.

Julie was having an out of body experience by this time and babbled words out one after the other as he took her higher and higher.

“Please, please Mac don't do this to me, I need to...” She spoke in a voice that she didn't think was her own, what had he done to her?, “Please, please.”

“Soon, you just keep begging like I like, ” He whispered, “Just keep begging,” He brought a hand up to her belly and pressed down, turned his finger inside of her and made the “come here” sign.

“Oh God please,” She moaned as he reached up and rolled one nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

“Beg me for it,” He stopped for a moment and she let out a sigh in frustration, “Scream Jules, let me hear you.”

“Please, please, please,” Mac went back to his dirty work as she pleaded for relief. His cock was raging hard and about to explode but he didn't stop this time until she was screaming just like he wanted. Probably they could hear them over at the bar, Mac didn't care, it was good for his rep.

“Come on Jules, cum for me,” He crooned softly and demanded against her skin, “Come on now. I want it.”

“Oh my God, oh my god,” She cried out, slapping her hands down on the mattress and twisting the sheets in her fist, then felt his tongue back on her clit and his finger still working her G-spot until a flash of white burst behind her eyes and she exploded into a million little pieces, “Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh my God, oh my god, oh fuck yes, Mac.”

He didn't stop until she was well and truly spent and he expected she would need a minute, but she was pulling him against her right away.

“Give it to me,” She pulled him by the shoulders, “I need it now, hold my hands down.”

He unbuckled his pants and shucked them down in record time. Who was he to deny a woman who was begging for his dick? 

“Now, Goddammit, “ She pulled him against her and grunted, then held his hips until he was inside her, “Hold my hands down.”

“Oh you're speaking my language now,” He brought his hands to her wrists and pushed them flat on the bed as he moved his hips against hers, meeting her thrust for thrust and she was moaning again. She fit him perfectly and he shook the thought from his head.

She was so warm and wet and fit him so fucking good it made his mind go blank when she was around. He thought he controlled her, but sometimes it felt like she was the one in charge.

Julie wrapped her legs around his waist and it was all he could do not to lose it right then. He stared down at her, wanting eye contact now, then went right back to holding her arms down.

“I want you to cum again Julie,” He demanded, “I wanna feel you.”

“I can't, I can't,” She sobbed.

“Yes you can, baby, yes you can.” He moaned and reached between their bodies, stroking the fire until he got what he wanted, then when he could feel her body squeezing him, he pushed her hands back down on the bed and rode out the explosive orgasm that was rippling through her body and let go himself.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“What are you doing here?” He finally asked as she rolled over, realizing he hadn't even taken off his boots and now there was red dust all over her sheets and her. It was gross and just reminded her that being tangled up with him this way was not good for her. She was going to be in the dirt with Mac for the rest of her life now.

“We need to talk...”

He didn't want to hear whatever she was there to tell him. Something told him it was big, life-changing, was she moving away for good, out of state? Was she running away from him forever, could he let her go in peace?

“Come on, we're both covered in dirt.” He stood up and pulled her towards the bathroom by the hand, it was almost sweet the way he treated her.

“You could have showered before you barged in here.”

“Well, I didn't fucking think I'd see your car in the parking lot this morning.”

“You drop off your delivery to Walter?” She asked, “Been up for a few days, have you? You look like shit.”

“None of your business and stop stalling,”

Mac turned the water on and stepped into the shower pulling her in with him. 

“Why are you here?”

“I'm pregnant...”

Mac shook his head and then proceeded to stare at her stomach. This was so fucked up, he had been thinking about this since the last time he fucked her without protection. That was how much she stirred him up, he hadn't used anything just now either. There was never time to think of it.

When he realized he'd not worn a condom last time, a fucking first for him by the fucking way and hadn't pulled out, it occurred to him that this was how he could control her. He hoped she'd be pregnant and he'd never, ever had those kinds of thoughts before. But he just shrugged to himself and said, if it happens, it was meant to be.

He was surprisingly ok with the whole idea, also a first. At one time getting someone pregnant was his worst nightmare since he'd been old enough to fuck, since he was twelve he always wrapped it up. Maybe, it occurred to him, he really wanted it to happen and that's why he “forgot”. Julie sure thought so, she even said he'd done it on purpose to her roommate at school, she was on the pill and yet it still happened, Mac felt like you had to admire that. He was powerful enough to breach the barrier of birth control pills, he almost got off on it This was not bad news to him.

Maybe it was going to change her. If she got pregnant she'd need him, she'd be under his thumb for life if they had a kid together. No more of this stupid school shit. Hell maybe after this kid he'd knock her up again. He could not stop looking at her stomach, they had made a baby together. Then without a word, he reached out and lay his hand on right there on her abdomen.

“Stop it you're freaking me out,” She took his hand away, “Say something.”

“I knew it,”

“Oh come on don't be getting all wacko on me.”

Mac remembered then who he was, “I ain't marrying ya.” He said suddenly as if it just occurred to him that she expected that. Now he was breaking out in a cold sweat, shit just got real as Walter would say. Oh, fuck Walter! He was going to have a shit fit over this.

Julie laughed heartily as if that was the funniest thing in the world. “I don't wanna marry you!”

“Why not,” Mac snapped back at her, offended that she would say or even think such a thing. That was not the reaction he thought he was going to get; he expected tears and begging. He expected her to demand he marry her. Why didn't she want to marry him? 

Now he was pissed off, again. Julie had that effect on him quite often, she either made him mad or horny, sometimes both at the same time. Now he was just pissed, there was nothing wrong with him! She was no raving beauty either, and she had a lot of nerve to not be trying to trap him, he had been sure she'd try it. Any other girl would, any other girl in town would jump at the chance at a catch like him.

What was her fuckin problem anyway? He knew he was good looking, had a huge cock and he had plenty of money, what more could she want. Seemed like they got along in the sack where it counted and she sure as hell liked his dick just fine. Julie couldn't stay off his dick as a matter of fact.

Julie just kept laughing, making him angrier and Mac just glared at her.

“Because you're a drug addict, you cook drugs and fuck everything that moves.” Julie ticked off on her fingers and again she was offending him, even if it was true. She had his number like no one else did.

“Doesn't make me a bad guy tho,” Mac said as they got out of the shower and he immediately lit a cigarette. Julie hadn't smoked or drank anything since she missed her period, somehow she just knew.

“Look I'll handle this, just pay child support ok?”

“No, I wanna be in this kids life, you can't keep me away. And maybe I can change if given the right incentive.”

"Yeah," She grabbed the cigarette out of his hand and stomped it on the ground, "Prove it, no smoking around me.”

"Jesus, I can see you're going to be a huge pain in my ass now."


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Listening to Sublime as I wrote this chapter. Mac feels ready to change...

"Roots Of Creation"

I am living in a boring nation  
I pull up my hands and I look at my feet  
The reggae music make me sound so sweet  
Cause we play it morning evening and all of the day  
It's the sweet kinda music makes me feel O.K.  
The roots of creation  
I am living in a plastic nation  
I throw up my hands  
My hope is so wide  
Sometimes, sometimes I feel so high  
But all the time I feel irie  
I feel irie when I'm down with the scene  
Called roots of creation  
I am living in a plastic nation

The first thing on his mind now was breakfast so after he banged her in the shower Mac insisted they go out to eat and she noticed he held her hand as they walked down the sidewalk to the bar. He was so territorial with her and it was annoying, but she wasn't in the mood to fight about it with him right now, the fight about getting married had upset her.

Julie tried to concentrate on the music, she loved Sublime but even that wasn't helping, this was a serious clusterfuck that she was right in the middle of, a key player if you will. Mac was impossible to get along with under usual circumstances, and now he was acting even worse. He also brought out the worst in her and constantly made her angry with his possessiveness.

It would only get worse now, the holding her hand was just the beginning.

She didn't want to be with him, yet she was, whatever was between them was not clearly defined and now there was a baby coming. Of all the guys to have this happen with, she had been careful, never missed a pill and didn't sleep around. One night, it had been a one night stand essentially, why did it have to be this guy. Why did he have to be so good looking, and why was she so weak for him. 

“Eat up and feed my son, Jules,” Mac said as he shoveled steak and eggs into his face like he hadn't eaten in days. Probably he hadn't if he was out cooking in the caves and getting high. He always ate in a hurry, like he had better things to do, and usually, those better things had to do with drugs or whores.

This was already a fucking mess, she knew what and who he was, he wouldn't change.

“Its too soon to know what it is,” She hissed across the table, “And keep your voice down.”

“Whatsamatter, you don't want anyone to know, they're gonna find out sooner or later.” He deadpanned, “I'm gonna call, Isabelle.”

“Don't you dare!” She raised her voice at the mention of Julie's only living relative, her mother's sister who lived in the next town over in a big old farmhouse. Isabelle loved Mac and was friends with Walter forever, small-town life at it's best, everything was so convoluted and insane.

“She always liked me when we were kids,” Mac mused, rubbing the scruff on his chin as if he was a professor giving a lecture, in a way he was. He was letting Julie know the lengths he would go to to get his way.

“That's because you always conned her with your bullshit, your blonde hair and blue eyes.” Opppsss that was a slip he latched right onto.

“So, what's wrong with using my assets to my advantage,” He sipped his coffee, “Worked on you too.”

“Yeah and now look where it's gotten us.”

“You just don't want to get along with me unless we're fucking, that's your problem and now we're chained and bound to each other for life.”

“Look, I could just leave here, go far away...”

“I'd find you,” He said with all seriousness, and his face changed, the merry laughter and banter were gone. His features were dark as he threatened to follow her to the ends of the earth and she did believe that, “That wouldn't be good for you to do.”

“Are you threatening me?”

Mac shook his head, “Nope, just letting you know how serious this is to me.”

“Why, what if I never told you and just got ri...”

“Jules, even I know the second you knew, there was no doubt you were keeping it, I know what happened to you, Izzie and Walter are tight.”

“Jesus isn't anything sacred in this fucking town?”

Mac didn't answer that, he wasn't going to argue with her about every little thing, he had plenty of money and a nine inch cock that all the ladies loved. He could snap his fingers right now and have some girl here ready and willing, but this girl he suddenly cared about feeding before him was the only one he wanted. Even though she was difficult as fuck. Even he couldn't quite process it all right now. But at least he knew now he had to pick his battles with her.

All he wanted to do was make her smile, see her happy, prove her wrong. Earlier Mac had glared at anyone with a cigarette until they left the place, but Julie was still disbelieving that he could or would change in any significant way. He had a lot of work to do if she was going to believe in him and allow him to be part of this.

"I don't want you giving me any diseases," She said later as they walked out into the parking lot towards his truck, “We are not a thing.”

"Oh fuck you, Julie, it was just gonorrhea and I was fifteen," He huffed at her, “And we are a thing, and have been for a while now.” Then he smiled wide as a thought occurred to him, “Now you can call me Daddy, no wait, Papi, yeah Papi!” 

“Ew,” She huffed, “I will not.”

“You will if I want ya to!” He growled and yanked her by her hand, what was the holding her hand shit? Clearly, he was letting the whole fucking town know what was going on, “And you have to come home for good now.”

“Mac,” Julie answered, “I'm not leaving school...”

Mac stopped dead in his tracks and gave her a look that told her this was a subject not up for debate. This was a battle he was going to pick with her. This was a fight he would gladly have with her right in the middle of town if that was the way she wanted it.

"You are coming home.” He growled.

"No, I'm not,"

"Yeah," He picked her up and threw her over his shoulder right there in the parking lot like a sack of potatoes, she was still light as a feather but his dick twitched at the thought of her soon being heavier with his child growing inside of her, but this wasn't the time to think about fucking her, he'd also just fucked her and yet he wanted her again, "You are."

"Put me down." She hollered and slapped at his back.

"Nope," He started to carry her towards his truck, “Think maybe we are gonna get married.”

"This caveman shit isn't working for me," Julie continued, “And I am not marrying you.”

“I'm sorry you feel that way, but I ain't giving you a choice. You can go to online school. You're moving in with me."

"Fuck no I'm not moving into that shit hole you live in." She screamed, “ And I fuckin hate you.”

“It's mutual,” He put her down, “I'd take you over my knee but we both know you like that.”

“I'm going back to school right now,” She turned to leave, if she wasn't pregnant her would beat her ass right now, but even he knew that was a total dick move, he had no problem smacking her if she deserved it, but even he knew you didn't hit a pregnant woman.

“Then I'll see you there,” He called out to her instead, “I ain't letting you out of my sight from now on.”

“You can't keep me, prisoner,” She yelled back as she headed for her hotel room. There was a crowd of people that came out of the bar and a few stores in the area. The ruckus must have been too hard to resist for the nosy assholes in this town.

“Watch me.” He called back and then turned to the crowd, “What the fuck are you looking at?”

He stomped after her, just as she was about to slam the door in his face, he put one of his rock hard arms against the door and busted in after her. 

“I'll tie you to this fucking bed right now and you won't go anywhere.” He yelled as he stalked across the room at her.

“Try it and see what happens,” She yelled back and threw her suitcase on the bed, then started throwing clothes into it. Then she turned and faced him, “Don't you touch me, all this drama is bad for the baby so knock it the fuck off.”

Stepping closer she got right in his face.

“If you care so much about this baby than stop being so...so...you!”

“You know how hard it is for me not to backhand you right now, why ya got to be so fuckin difficult. I wanna make sure you're OK, every day. This is...you are important to me.”

“Then let me go back to school where I belong, it's four more months, then I'll come home.”

“Fine,” He finally said and crossed his arms, letting her know she had won this battle but not the war, “Stay today, I wanna take you shopping, for Vitamins and shit. Then we can both go back tomorrow, OK?”

Julie didn't answer.

“Look I'm trying here, “ He stopped and lit a cigarette and she glared at him. He backed up so that the smoke was downwind, “Work with me, yeah?”

“Mac you gotta stop with all this proprietary crap. I'm not one of your possessions. I won't be.”

He stood there smoking, making sure to blow the smoke away from her, it was all he could do at that moment as he tried to process what she was saying. He had never cared about a woman before, never worried about someone's health and it was more than her just being a vessel for his spawn. He was still getting used to that concept too; fatherhood.

How the fuck was he going to pull that off? He had no clue how to act, his only example ever being Walter and his special brand of parenting. Mac's mother had died young, like Julie's parents, but she had Isabelle in her corner, she was fine; Julie was normal. Mac was anything but normal. Walter had a mean streak and until the time when Mac was big enough to fight back, he'd been subject to it and so much cruelty. He had no one to set an example for how to act with women, and in his defense, none of them complained, except her.

But it didn't matter, she was the one that counted now.

“I can be a better man,” He finally said looking down at the dust as he stomped the cigarette out in the rocky earth, then he looked up at her. His eyes were soft for a second and the expression she saw pass over his face was unfamiliar, but it didn't stay too long.

“You're gonna clean up your act?”

“Yeah,” He answered, but Julie didn't believe him and he couldn't really blame her.

“I'll believe it when I see it.”

Well, now he had to do it, just to spite her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading XO


	6. 6

This chapter is dedicated to Maggie who can always seem to read my mind when it comes to Mac. Love you!

The thing about change was that you could want it with everything inside of you, with every drop of your soul and yet not be able to make it. Or you could make steady progress although it could be slow and even then, you could backslide from time to time. Mac knew this all too well. He had tried before with and without success to be something he was not. 

Today was not the day.

As he stared at her in the hotel room rage started to take over at her thoughts that he couldn't change. Mac grabbed her suitcase and threw it across the room and before she could get away he had her by the wrist.

“You ain't leaving till I say you can leave. You got that?” He tossed her down on the bed and climbed on top of her. Julie was slapping at his face the minute he came near her trying to get him off of her but it was no use, he was too big and too strong. He used his bulk to overpower her easily, it wasn't a fair fight but Mac wasn't going to play fair now.

“See this is just the kind of shit I'm talking about, one second your all, I can change, I can be better and the next minute...”

“Shut the fuck up Julie,” She knew she was in deep shit, he only called her Julie if he was pissed the fuck off. He almost always called her Jules, so when he didn't that was the first warning, the second warning was the look in his eyes now. He held her hands down with one of his strong hands and she couldn't get free, he outweighed her and was strong as fuck.

From the sheath on his belt he took out his knife and stabbed it into the top sheet on the bed, straddling her he ripped the sheet into long sections. Julie bucked underneath him while he did that as she figured out what he meant to do.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“Making a point, now shut your yap or I'm going to shove something in your mouth until you do!” He took one of the strips of the sheet and tied it to her wrist and then the other end to the railing of the headboard. Julie fought all the way and to Mac's personal credit he didn't slap her like he wanted to. This wasn't about roughing her up, this was about showing dominance, letting her know who the boss was. He could do that and not hurt her, he couldn't smack her around while she was pregnant, but if this shit didn't stop he was going to beat her ass as soon as that kid was out.

“You fucking asshole!” She screamed and started hitting him with her other hand not even caring that she might make him so mad he hit her back, “I swear to God Mac I'm going to leave town and never come back if you don't knock this shit off.”

He just laughed as he took her other wrist and tied it to the other spindle of the headboard, “Seems like you aren't going anywhere right at the moment,” He then did the same with her legs and then sat back on the bed to survey his work, “Just knock off the drama, it's bad for the baby, relax.”

A slow grin came over his face as he looked down at her and she continued to struggle, but finally stopped when she realized he was not going to let her go until he'd accomplished whatever it was he was trying to get across to her.

“Fine you have all the power, are you happy now?” She yelled, “Untie me!”

“Don't think so...” He answered as his hand came up over her leg, it was so convenient that she'd worn a dress that day.

“Oh don't you fucking dare!” 

“Julie, you and I need to have a serious talk, so do you want it now or after I'm done teaching you a lesson.” As angry as she was at him at that moment he said the right words that started something stirring in her gut. She did her best not to let him know he was getting to her already. As he continued running his hand up her leg until he reached her thigh, Mac felt her leg twitch and saw the slightest sigh escape her chest, “Hmmm,” Mac met her eyes, “What's this?”

Then slowly enough that she knew what he meant to do Mac brought his face down and spread her legs more, letting the scruff on his chin rub against her knee, then he brought his nose down close to her skin and inhaled deeply. He loved the way she smelled

His fingers danced over her inner thigh, then his teeth, Julie's eyes closed then opened again. She remembered she wasn't trying to give him the upper hand any more than he already had. It was so stupid, he had her tied up and she still wouldn't give in. She couldn't.

“You asked for this,” He crooned as his fingers reached the elastic of her panties.

“It was a metaphor ya prick! Get off me!” But even as she said it she felt his fingers so close to where she wanted them. Julie sucked in a breath of anticipation and Mac, who was always alert and always watching caught it right away.

“Ah, see,” He pulled her panties aside and dipped his fingers inside, “Now ya made me mad, and I ain't gonna let you cum.”

Then he licked straight up the seam of her panties and found her clit through the material like his mouth was a heat-seeking missile. God damn, she hated him sometimes especially when he made her want him like this. This was a battle of their wills and he was fighting dirty, the way he always did.

“Stop it!” She cried but then she couldn't resist the feeling that was washing over her, she pulled at the restraints to no avail, he had her trapped like a bug, just like he wanted. He was a dirty fighter in all areas of his life, and Mac always had to have the last word in all things. He wouldn't stop until he had the last word in this either.

“You stop it and I won't have to do this again...” He almost smiled at that notion as he tongued and sucked at her already swollen clit through the material until she was into it because he could always get her into it eventually. He'd do this to her again, maybe next time just for fun, but today it was to prove a point.

He could feel the heat coming off her body and both of them knew once he got her to a certain point she would become as compliant as he wanted her to be all the time. He remembered that she wasn't pleasing him at the moment, that they had been fighting and that's why he had to do this, then he stopped what he was doing before she got too excited, much to her disappointment.

“Nope,” He sat back and watched her squirm, if looks could kill he would be a dead man right now, she was hellfire pissed off and he loved it, “You've been a bad girl.” He brought his hands up both her legs, holding eye contact for dominance and she almost flew off the bed, “Gotta teach you a lesson, ever heard of edging Jules?” He was back to calling her Jules, whatever rage he was feeling had turned the corner into something else. But Julie didn't care, now she was pissed off even more.

“Mac you fucker!” She hissed.

“Sorry 'bout it,” He grinned as he brought his face back down under her dress, between her legs and started again, pushing her panties aside so he could shove his tongue inside of her. He let out a deep snarl as he did that and the vibration of his mouth on her was too much to bear.

“Fuuuuucccccckkkkk,” She moaned as he brought his fingers over her wet flesh just right, lingering where she wanted him to and then he moved away suddenly again and sat up,” God dammyou!”

Mac just laughed and unbuckled his pants to let some of the pressure off his dick because he was throbbing hard already and nowhere near ready to fuck her yet, then he laid his hand on her inner thigh just close enough and inched his fingers closer.

Julie thrashed on the bed half from anger and half from frustration as he let his fingers stroke up and down too slow for her liking, “Your father is right next door... if I start screaming.”

Mac just laughed and picked up the knife from where he had stuck it into the mattress and cut each of the straps of her sundress, then down the front of the garment, “My father knows when to mind his own business,” This time he stuck the knife into the top of the end table, got off the bed, toed off his boots and dropped his pants.

Just in case he went to the door and threw the deadbolt so hard it rattled on the cheap door then turned back to her. Julie's eyes were like saucers staring at his cock at attention as he walked towards her.

“You ain't getting that yet either,” He climbed back on top of her and pressed his hardness against her aching pelvis. Julie was so overheated and frustrated it hurt, he teased her with his dick, sliding it all over her pussy until her hands were in fists with rage.

“Your gonna cut off your circulation you keep doing that and don't blame that on me.” He brought his mouth down to suck on each of her nipples, teasing them with his tongue, then pushed himself inside her once and pulled out again making sure to circle around and tease her more. It was hard not to fuck her but Mac could control himself when he needed to especially when he needed to do it to control someone else. Even though he was ready to be balls deep inside of her right now, he had to torture her some more.

He slid his dick between her legs while his mouth was on her again licking from her breasts to everywhere else but where she wanted him to, Julie was about to promise him anything to get relief. 

“Just untie me, I get your point, you're stronger than me,” She pestered as he took the knife and cut off her panties and tossed them over his shoulder, “You win.”

“We gonna fight anymore about this?” He cut her legs loose but left her hands still tied to the headboard then replaced the knife back into the end table.

“Probably,” She spat out and he laughed a loud uproarious laugh, she did make him laugh all the time and that was a good thing. Mac let all his weight fall on her and pressed his cock against her clit, sliding his hardness against her with a delicious mixture of pleasure and pain for both of them. Julie's body was on fire and she was burning alive with no way to put out the flame.

Mac was ready to blow his load so hard it felt like he was going to have a heart attack but he kept hold back and going at her, it wouldn't be long now.

He could tell by her breathing that Julie was about to explode and he watched as her features softened, a pink blush formed and flushed over her chest as her body tingled, she was wired like a guitar string about to snap and he brought his lips to her ear.

“Who's the boss of you?” He crooned into her ear and every part of her body lit up, “Say it.”

“You,” She breathed out as he pushed his cock inside of her so hard they both grunted.

“Say it again,” He pulled out and pushed inside her again forcing the words and her breath out over and over again, he pulled her knees up in his arms, “Wrap your legs around me and SAY IT!”

“You are,” She cried, right on the edge and he wouldn't let her fall, he still wanted more.

“I am what?” He growled.

“You,” She breathed out as his hand reached down between them and stroked her slowly, bringing one finger on either side of her clit, but he wasn't letting it happen till she said it the way he wanted her to. Julie knew that too and she said it now, just the way he wanted, “You are the boss of me.”

“God damn right,” He groaned, and moved his fingers until she blew up around him like a nuclear blast, Julie saw nothing but white between her eyes as the feeling washed over her from head to toe and lasted forever it seemed. She had never cum so hard in her entire life. Mac wiped the sweat off his face and got the hair out of his eyes and he rode this wave out. He had heard about pussy that could make you a slave, but Mac never felt anything like it before, Julie's body was a vice, squeezing every drop of cum out of him until he was collapsed on top of her in a sweaty heap.

But he was not her slave, she was his.


	7. 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is all over the place because there are many more things coming in the future. Also, I’m feeling like this title is no longer fitting to this story so I added to it :)

"I won't hurt you," Mac said as he cut her hands free and pulled her up against him. Making sure they were both comfortable he pulled the blanket over their sweaty bodies and they both closed their eyes. Julie was too tired to protest and Mac had been up for four days.

They both fell asleep instantly, it had been a rough day and now they were wrapped up in each other's arms.

When he woke up a few hours later Mac was astonished that his fingers were entwined in her hair. He had been playing with her hair in his sleep, winding it around his fingers and rubbing it against his face; his eyes went wide, almost bugged out of his head, quickly he jumped out of bed and pulled his pants on.

This was not acceptable.

"Where are you going," Julie asked as she rolled over still sleepy from the two-hour nap they had just taken. It was full on dusk now, they had whiled the day away fighting and fucking.

"Outside," Mac snapped, "I need a smoke." He was put off by what he had done in his sleep. Not one to cuddle he had done that too with her, he had wrapped right around her like a vine Jesus fucking Christ. Previous to her he'd not really even spent a night with a girl, certainly didn't actually sleep next to them or cuddled up to them. He'd either leave their place after or kick them out of his.

Julie had slept at his house and he had slept at her dorm with her that one weekend. That was the weekend he'd gotten her pregnant. 'Fuck', he thought to himself as he lit the cigarette, catching feelings for anyone and especially her was not on his agenda.

Then he sighed to himself. There was a convenience store just down the street, he should go get her some orange juice and milk. Maybe she was hungry, 'fuck this shit', he thought to himself as he jumped over the railing of the balcony off her room and headed to the store.

This worrying about someone else besides himself was getting old.

///////////////////////////

“So now we'll talk like normal people,” Mac said out on the balcony of her room later that day, he had untied her, fell asleep, got up, went to the store, came back and fucked her again; and now they were at an impasse.

“Who are you kidding, there's nothing normal about us.” She said as she sipped and an orange juice he had gone to get her, “I hate orange juice,” She said making a face.

“Tough shit it's good for the baby, there's milk there for you too.”

“I really hate milk, and you are not going to start telling me what to eat and drink.” Julie huffed, “You can forget that.”

Mac got up from the chair where he was sitting and casually walked over to her, making sure to get all up in her face and throw his bulk around to intimidate her, “I think I misheard you,” He looked down at her as she sat in a lounge chair, “So I'll give you a chance to reconsider what you just said.”

“Like I said,” She took a long sip of the orange juice, “Not normal.”

“I'm willing to compromise with you,” Mac leaned against the railing of the balcony.

“Oh, you are?” Julie snarked.

“Yeah smart ass, I am.” He continued, “I realize I was thrown for a bit of a loop today and may have acted a bit...”

“Crazy?” She offered with a roll of her eyes.

“Concerned was the word I was thinking.”

“Oh sure, I get that,” She said with a hint of sarcasm.

“You should watch your mouth...” Mac warned, “I'm trying to compromise instead of tying you back to the bed for the next nine months.”

“Seven,” She said and he glared over at her, “I'm two months already, the baby is coming in August, I'll be done with school in May.”

“Fine go back to school, but I'll be around...”

“Thanks for the warning.”, it wasn't like he was giving her a choice. When he spoke again she really wanted to laugh.

"Are you hungry?" He asked.

"Oh God," She rolled her eyes again and reached for her ringing phone and frowned.

"Who is it?"

"Izzy," She swiped and answered the phone, "Hey Iz uh, yeah, yeah. Oh, he did? No, I was going to...OK, yeah. OK. Sure. Thank you."  
She hung up the phone and looked over at him with a scowl on her face.

"What?" Mac snapped as he lit another cigarette, “What's your problem?”

"Seems that Walter called her and told her you and I were over here yelling and screaming all day long," Julie answered in a told you so tone.

"What an asshole." Mac inhaled his smoke deep and blew it over the railing. Baby steps were better than no steps, "Ain't nothing sacred around here anymore?"  
"I told you Walter was gonna be pissed at you. Now Izzy wants us there for dinner in one hour."

"Us?"

She nodded, "And don't even think of dipping on me. I'll kick you right in that dick you're so fond of."

"No you won't, that would just be punishing you too." He laughed at his own joke.

"You are such a jerk," She huffed.

"So you keep telling me, yet here you still are.”

“This is my hotel room bitch,” She finished her juice and laughed at his reaction to her calling him a bitch, “You barged in on me this morning remember.”

“Who are you calling a bitch?”

“You,” She laughed as his face contorted and his hand formed fists.

“Ah ah temper, “ She pointed to her stomach, “Baby on board.”

“Fuck you,” He snarled and tossed his cigarette over the railing.

“Three times is enough for me today...”

“Don't flatter yourself,” Mac said, “I'm out, see you when I see you.” He put his hand on the railing to jump over and get away from her and her smart mouth. Let her go face Izzy alone he was out.

“Can you please go with me to Izzy's.”

“What did you say, I didn't quite hear you?” Mac put his hand to his ear.

“Please will you come with me, she knows we were together.”

“What's in it for me?” He turned back to her.

“Oh, I don't know, how about I carry your kid around for the next seven months, then push it out my...”

“Alright, alright, fine!” Mac growled and that was the end of that.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Haven't seen you in a long while, come in, come in," Izzy said to Mac as soon as she opened the door. Izzy was an older version of Julie, with long dark hair and a gypsy style of dressing, right down to her headscarf and huge hoop earrings. She wrapped her arms around Julie and pulled her close, “I've missed you, baby.”

She had raised Julie since she was twelve, watched her and Mac grow up and now something was definitely up, Walter had been hellfire mad that morning. Mac hadn't shown up for a mandatory meeting that afternoon and Devon had reported he saw him over at the hotel with Julie, so tit for tat was Walters response.

Let Izzy do his dirty work for him was Walter's plan, she'd give the two of them hell so bad they wouldn't know which way was up when they got home.

“I missed you too Iz, I'm sorry I didn't call.”

“It's OK,” She smiled at Julie, “ And Macerio, where have you been hiding?”

"Ah you know M'am, been busy working,"

"Yes, sure," Izzy knew what his work was, everyone, did. She didn't care because he was her good friend's son and he was always respectful of her. She worked for Walter herself once upon a time at the bar just like Julie did.

"So first I hear that my niece comes to town and doesn't even call me and goes to a hotel," Isabelle said as she poured lemonade into the two glasses in front of Mac and Julie, "Then I hear you were banging on her door at Seven am and the two of you were causing a ruckus all day long. "

"Walter needs to mind his own business," Mac replied and Izzy laughed as she served an elaborate chicken enchilada dinner to them. 

“What's that on your wrist?” Izzy pulled Julie's hand to her and looked at the obvious rope burn that was there.

“Ah, nothing, I did it at school,” Julie answered and Izzy dropped it but shot a look at Mac that made him of all people uncomfortable for the rest of the night.

After dinner and dessert, Izzy walked them out to Mac's truck and waved as they pulled away. She had always liked Mac but she did make sure her opinion was out in the universe for them, her words, not his.

“Well, I hope you're happy?” Mac growled.

“Oh please you haven't eaten that well in months I bet, and she loves you, God only knows why.”

“Because she, unlike you, knows a good thing when she sees it,” Mac replied and Julie laughed all the way back to the hotel.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Just go home will you?” Julie said outside her hotel room later that night, “I'm tired and...”

“No,” Mac answered, “Fuck that if I got your aunt on my ass now it damn better be worth my while.” He pushed open her hotel room door and pulled her inside by the wrist with the rope burn on it.

“I'm not fucking you again,” She said putting her keys on the dresser, “I'm fucking sore.”

“Sorry to hear that,” And then he was down on one knee and pulled her closer by groping her ass, “What if I promise to kiss and make it all better?”

///////////////////////////////////////

“Thanks for fucking me,” Mac lit a cigarette and said to Walter the next day while they watched as Julie drove away to go back to school. Walter just laughed, it was fun to toy with Mac's life, he rarely slipped up like he did the day before, Walter never knew who he was fucking.

“No problem, Cholo,” Walter snickered, “How did Izzy take the news that you're banging her niece.”

“Threatened to cut my dick off if I hurt Jules,” He answered.

“That's my Izzy,” Walter laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)


	8. 8

They came to an unlikely agreement as the months went on, but they still fought over a lot of things. Neither of them was seeing anyone else and people were used to it now, many nights Mac would be on the phone in Walter's back office arguing with her about something or she would blow into town and get into it with him. Devon was back in town now for good and working with Mac in the caves for their father, that was not a match made in heaven. Mac had better things to do now it seemed to Devon and he didn't like his fucking attitude lately.

Devon and Regina were Walter's kids with his first wife, Mac was from his second, Delilah, the love of his life. Now all three of his kids were back in town and something was definitively going on with Mac and Julie. If he wasn't on the phone arguing with her, he was driving out to see her, Walter didn't give a flying shit as long as the product got made and moved on time. Devon found it curious that their old friend from school had gotten involved with his brother, Mac had been through most of the girls in the town twice already, Julie had never given him the time of day, Devon had always thought she was smarter than that, but apparently not.

He would rib Mac about that often, Devon was not content unless he was getting under Mac's skin; more and more Mac was finding it easy to ignore him though and that was a first. There were more important things to think about now.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////

This was not moonlight and roses though, Mac made Julie's life hell, but sometimes heaven at school, showing up at all kinds of odd hours to check up on her like, as she said a 'Psycho'. Her roommate thought he was the greatest thing since sliced bread because he never came empty handed, meaning he bought all their food, could charm your pants right off, obviously by Julie's body changes now, and threw money at Julie constantly. He was easy on the eyes according to Shelly, her dorm mate and to his credit, he was on his best behavior when he came around and he was never high.

Julie didn't always want him around and acted like he was a gnat flying around her face to be swatted away and Shelly just didn't get it, she was dazzled by his charm as were most women. Mac would come unexpectedly and take them out to eat or shopping for baby stuff and that was all Shelly really needed to see. It was odd how they behaved together, clearly, they couldn't keep their hands off of each other, sometimes she could hear them in the next room, there was mad chemistry there, but they fought over everything.

If Mac said the sky was blue Julie swore it was green, they were like oil and vinegar. But he was there twice a month on the weekends and sometimes more often. Julie suspected but could never prove that he was dealing weed on campus during his visits. Mac was clever and covered his tracks well, he never got high while he was there with her.

That didn’t really make her feel any better, but now he had her by the hand again leading her up the stairs to the door of her room, sometimes he was so tender and kind to her. She liked the feel of his rough working man's hand in hers, lately, it stirred so much up inside of her, she sometimes was happy to see him. Although she never let on to him about it. How could holding someone’s hand turn her on so much?

They got inside and he immediately gave her another one of those scorching, make you go home with a guy you didn't even like all that much kisses. That was just how this thing with them got started, God, he was hot. He pressed against her until she was against the door and he was hard as a rock, she wanted it all, whatever he was giving. She always did.

“You missed me?” He whispered against her ear.

“Maybe...” She would never give him a straight answer about exactly where they stood with each other, but holy Jesus in a sidecar she was pushing all his buttons. There was something about her figure now, she was so curvy and gorgeous to him, he wasn't even fucking anyone else right now. He just waited for the weekends he was off and able to make the trip to see her.

Walter had been keeping him pretty busy as of late and he wasn't complaining, the money came in handy, but a guy needed to get laid. He wasn't about to let his father cockblock him all the time. He did his share of cooking and dealing and if he was going to Julie for the weekend he wrapped it all up by noon on Friday.

“Admit it...” His lips ghosted over hers.

Julie was finally getting her hands into his hair and that drove him insane, every time. He let out a groan that went right to her belly and flip-flopped all through her body, why was he the one? Julie had asked herself this a million times; the answer was always the same. She had no idea why he had this power over her.

“I missed you...happy now?”

“Yup,” He grinned against her lips like a shark ready to devour his prey.

His hands and lips were all over her and he knew what he was doing, everywhere he touched her lit a fire on her skin. Where he kissed her left a trail of electricity, unlike anything she had ever felt with anyone else. There was always that guy in your life that you wished wasn't so important to you; she prayed it was hormones making her this way. Loving him would only bring her trouble.

“I still wish it wasn't you...” She murmured in the darkness.

“Sorry to hear it, sweetheart, it's you and me now.” Mac cackled as she shrugged out of his jacket that he insisted she wear because it was cold out as his hands came up her back and around to her breasts, over her nipples so deliciously. He loved her body now, more so than before, her breasts were fuller, she seemed so soft and curvy and he was beginning to think he had a pregnancy kink, whatever got your dick hard right?

“Lucky me,” She answered with a roll of her eyes.

“Damn right, you know how many women would trade places with you right now?”

“Stop talking,” She said with a smile as his teeth made there way over her neck, “You're ruining it.”.

“This OK, can I touch you?” Mac asked and both of them laughed, Mac never asked permission to touch before, it was his way of snarking back at her. She nodded and that was all the encouragement he needed, soon he was diving in for another kiss, and another, all the while not taking his hands from her.

She was about to climb him like a tree right here in the hallway where Shelly could come out of her room at any second and catch them. Mac stepped back and looked at her, letting his eyes go over every inch of her, he made no apology for it. Then they were in her room, with the door shut and the radio on for privacy. He pulled her into his arms and kissed down her neck, coming down on his knees to run his hands up her legs. Then he followed with his lips and took one of her legs and placed it over his shoulder.

“So beautiful.” He murmured against her skin while his hands were at her hips pulling her against his face. Julie felt his hands on her thighs and then his fingers were on her, then his mouth and tongue and then her legs were shaking; her clothes were still on and he had her melting into the floor already. Mac was a fucking demon with his mouth and she was in a hot sweat in minutes. Julie felt herself sliding down the wall because she couldn’t stand any longer and he swooped her into his arms.

Mac carried her to the bed and dropped her there, careful not to be too rough. Julie sat back on her elbows and watched him take off his shirt, then he shucked off his pants, Mac never wore underwear, which appalled her when she found out, now she just accepted it. She let her eyes roam over his form and he noticed.

“Like what you see?” He stroked his hand over his cock slowly watching for her reaction.

There was no denying Mac was beautiful, with those shoulders that went on for days and the hardest body she had ever seen that wasn’t pumped up on steroids, he was lean and perfect, she licked her lips watching him. She didn't want to want him but she did, with every cell in her body. It was hard to fight it sometimes, most times.

Mac looked down at her and was struck by how beautiful she was, a few months ago she was just a plain type girl who wouldn't give him the time of day, a conquest; someone to use and forget about right after, like all the others. Now she was the most beautiful woman to him and the center of his small world.

Tonight was his lucky night, he thought as he crawled over to her with a wicked grin on his face, “You know, I've been thinking of this all week.” He said as he pulled her leggings down her legs kissing his way along her creamy white skin, next he went for her panties until he had her totally unclothed.

“Me too,” She sighed.

“One last chance Julie, if you want to just go to sleep.” He said, looking up at her from where he was down by her feet, “I know you get tired a lot now.” Again he was out of character like he cared about her or something dumb like that.

The words just rolled off his tongue and his eyes were gleaming with mischief, with the promise of things to come. Julie knew all too well the things he could do, she wanted him all the time now, blaming it on pregnancy hormones and he was a happy man.

“I'm not that tired.” She answered as he kissed down her stomach.

He stopped and slid his tongue around her belly button, “Yeah that's what I thought.”

She shook her head and in an instant, he was kissing her hard and then he was inside her. Both of them let out a sound foreign to their lips as their bodies joined and they were totally lost to it then. He reached down and grabbed her legs at the knees and pulled her as close as possible, her belly wasn't that big yet, while moving his hips in such a rhythm that she was ready to explode.

Julie raked her nails down his back and he was out of his mind from it, “Ohmyfuckinggod…” He moaned into her ear.

Julie pulled her legs from his hands and rolled herself so that she was on top of him now, she grinned as she looked down at him. His eyes were closed and he had a look on his face of absolute bliss, he was so beautiful to her this way. His features weren't as hard and there was light shining from the window reflecting off of his hair, she could look at him like this forever.

“Don't move,” She said running her hands up over his chest followed by her lips, “ This time I'm gonna fuck you.” His eyes actually rolled to the back of his head when she said that. He couldn’t believe her mouth and the way she was grinding her hips into him. 

“Do you want it?” She asked leaning down and kissing his neck, running her lips over the shell of his ear and back down, “Tell me, Mac,” That got her right what she wanted, he was moving faster, just the way she liked it. She ran her hands over his arms, up and into his hair and kissed him, taking her lips away so fast while he was still trying to kiss her. He chased her kips with his, lifting his head up and missed.

Giving up, Mac let his head fall back with an agonized look on his face. He was going to cum any second if he didn’t think of something quick. She was moving her hips against his faster and faster trying to get the words she wanted out of him.

“Tell me, tell me, tell me.” She said into his ear and then she sucked on his neck until he screamed out.

“Yes, I want it. I want it, Julie.” He cried out, “Give it to me, fuck me good!.”

She never stopped moving and he reached up to hold her hips in place and meet her thrust for thrust. Mac reached down between them to stroke her the way she liked.

“Fuck me, Julie! Fuck me! Fuck my fucking brains out.” He murmured underneath her and that just made her move faster.

The sweat was rolling off of her and onto him and he pushed the hair and sweat out of his face to look at her. She was so beautiful, her hair was hanging in his face adding to the sensations and he felt her body contracting, he held on still trying not to cum before she got off.

There was something to be said about fucking for sport and not giving a shit, Mac had shown her that. Julie had never been in bed with someone she didn’t love, whose opinion didn’t matter greatly to her, until Mac. She hadn’t known what she was missing really.

With him, she could totally let herself go because she didn't care, didn't give a shit. It was so freeing that she actually came screaming every curse word she ever knew, every time they were together.

Julie threw herself back down on top of him and pulled his climax out of him with her body, then she brought her lips all over his skin, tasting the salt of his skin, while her hands were running up his chest, it was too much for him.

He finally let himself go over the edge into sweet oblivion, seeing nothing but stars before his eyes, she was a witch casting a spell on him. Maybe he could love her he thought as they drifted off to sleep.

///////////////////////////////////////////////

Mac rolled over in Julie's bed the next morning, reached for his pants that were on the floor and pulled them up, he sat on the edge of the bed contemplating going out for a smoke when he felt her hand on his. He helped her sit up and she pulled him closer to her.

“Mac,” She placed his hand on her abdomen, that was now unmistakably noticeable and he felt a wave under his hand.

“Is that?”

She nodded excitedly.

“Oh my god, it's real.” He said in amazement and the way his eyes looked in that moment made her heart skip, “It's really real.”


	9. 9

Just before spring break, which Mac insisted on driving up to bring her home for, at one of her doctor's appointments they found out it was a boy and they agreed the child would be named after her father Michael, and his, Walter. This was an easy agreement between them, one of the only easy things out of bed for them.

Finally, she finished school for the year and moved back home and in with her Aunt Isabelle, by now Isabelle knew she was having a baby. Julie refused to live with Mac, she refused to marry him and he let it slide, by now she was showing and anyone who didn't know who's kid it was was deaf and blind. Mac had practically taken out a billboard to announce it and let any dude who was thinking of sniffing over her way to back the fuck off.

Walter was against the whole idea, and he found out quite by accident one night in the caves when they were cooking in the spring before she arrived with her baby filled belly, and one of the guys said something in front of him. He didn't say a word for a long time, then he put down what he was working on, walked over to Mac and smacked him in the back of the head.

“You dumb fuck!”

Mac's hand went to the back of his head where the unexpected blow came from, “What the fuck old man?” He turned, it had been a long time since Walter had hit him.  
“She's knocked up! What the fuck were you thinking?” Walter raged, “What are you getting married now like a fuckin pussy whipped douche,”

“I was thinkin I was getting my dick wet, what do you think I was thinking,” Mac roared back, then he stopped and added, “And She won't, I keep asking her and she won't.”

Walter found that hilarious, and he laughed for a full minute before he replied, his eyes were merry and bright now, “That girl is smarter than I thought,” And that was the end of it for the most part with Walter and he did have a new found respect for Julie. Once in a while Walter “Reminded” Mac where his loyalty ought to be, “Nice going cholo.” was all he would say and Mac would know his father still didn't approve.

Devon called Walter grandpa and got smacked in the side of the head for it, so most of the time this baby was the elephant in the room that no one dared to talk about in front of Walter and that was just fine with him. All of his kids were fuck-ups as far as he was concerned, this just proved it.

Mac knew all too well where his bread and butter came from, he was a skilled mechanic but there were only so many people around needing their cars serviced. He depended on his income from his and Walter's enterprise to live on day to day. Even if he wanted out it would be hella difficult.

Now he had a kid to take care of, he was in as deep as could be and for the first time, he wished he wasn't. He was thirty-two years old, getting tired of chasing whores and cooking drugs. Now he thinking of a different kind of life and of how to be a better man.

Julie made him think of a different kind of life, she made him want it too.

All this time he thought his main attraction to Julie had been because she turned him down so many times, but maybe it was more than that now. Since he found out about the baby he had laid off the meth, and just smoked pot primarily, and never around her; his thoughts were clearer. For the first time in his life, he thought about things like the future, rather than just where was he getting drugs and pussy from that day

She was different than most women he knew, smart. Mac didn't bother with people like that mostly, it was all so new for him, that was great progress. She was still ambivalent about him, but at least they got along somewhat now.

Maybe the person who made you want to be better was the one you were supposed to be with, he really had no idea and no one to ask, Walter was not speaking to him much, but that was fine. For the first time in his life, he gave fuck all about what his father thought about him and his life.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“I been thinking about those classes at the hospital,” Mac said to her one day on the phone and Julie almost hung up on him. She had been sitting on her Aunt's front porch with her feet up enjoying her day and then he had to call her about childbirth and parenting classes. When he did stuff like this it made her wish he was always that way, it made her hopeful and she knew better than that.

Why couldn't he leave it alone and let her continue to hate him? When he called her about this stuff and took her shopping all those times for groceries and vitamins when she was at school it was hard to be indifferent to him. Slowly but surely he had chipped away at her defenses and Julie didn't like it at all.

“What were you thinking?” She asked cautiously.

“That we should sign up for them soon,” Mac said, “See, I don't know if you noticed but my parental examples are not so good.”

Julie winced, of course, she knew that. Everyone in town knew Walter beat the shit out of him and Devon when he was a kid. Their sick alliance aside, Julie felt sad for Mac when they were kids, he always had some sort of evidence of abuse, a black eye here, a broken bone there. He was like a stray dog looking for scraps and sometimes even now he acted that way, as if he was still afraid of getting a beating. That was part of the reason why Izzy was so easy on him, she felt sorry for him.  
“I gotta learn what to do.” He was sincere and it was hard to not be touched by that. But she also knew the other side the enigma that was Mac, the bossy, drug using, abusive side that was still very much a part of him. He may have cut way back on using but he had a long way to go in her opinion. But now, this thinking ahead he was doing touched her.

“You're really serious aren't you?”

“Yup,” He answered, and she smiled, part of her hoped this change would stick for all their sakes, “Thinking of getting a straight job, Walter won't like it but he can fuck right off.”

“Wait, why?”

“Cause this kid shouldn't grow up like I did, I wanna do better than that. I'm gonna be there for you both. Izzy said she doesn't care if I crash there sometimes.”

Julie sat up in the lounge chair she was sitting in, what the hell was he going on about now, “What if I mind?”

“Guess we're gonna fight about this too? Cause I'm getting sick of fighting you every step of the way.” He raised his voice, to his credit only slightly, “I already told you...”

“And I told you!”

“Hey, are you going to breastfeed?” Mac said trying to ward off a fight that wouldn't be good for the baby, he had been reading a little bit. Yelling and picking her up against her will was stressful for her and the baby, he was trying not to act that way now.

“Hey, can you stop being so creepy?”

“Well, I can help you with feedings if you pump...”

“Mac I am not talking about pumping breast milk with you!”

“Don't be such a prude, yeah?” He laughed, “Don't make me have to tie you up again.”

So much for change, sometimes it was a slow process, what was the saying? Progress, not perfection.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Mac showed up a few days later with a duffel bag of his shit and moved it right into Julie's room. Izzy had talked to her and reminded her of all the times when she and Mac were kids and wishing for a way out of the canyon life. If he was making even a slight effort to give them a better life, Izzy was on his side. The baby needed a father in its life, Julie agreed with that, but Mac had a lot of changes to make before she was going to trust him.

“Alright, alright you can stay, just shut up about it OK?” She finally relented as they got changed for bed later that night in what was now their room. They undressed easily in front of each other now, as if they had been together forever. It was funny how things like that occurred when you weren't paying attention.

“And the online classes? You can't go back to Salt Lake City, it's too far.” He said, sitting back on the bed and patting beside him for her to sit and she did. Julie sat down next to him and he handed her a water bottle to drink.

“For this year, we'll see after that OK?”

“I got an idea,” Mac said as he scooted down on the bed and Julie rolled her eyes at him, a regular occurrence.

“What?” She said with a laugh, she could only imagine an idea of his.

“Why don't you stop rolling your eyes at me and running your god damn mouth and come sit on my face.”

That made her laugh, and when she was done laughing she did as he asked.

At least they were getting along, it was a start.


	10. Ten and Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who left me love on this story and told me how much they liked this new Mac. I like him too, I feel like in the best of circumstances, maybe he could exist like this with Julie's help. But all good things must come to an end, after these two sugary chapters that will give you diabetes it's out of the Twilight Zone, and a hard left right back to Mac Town. 
> 
> In this chapter, I weaved the words of Perfect World by Sublime (give it a listen) throughout it because it reminded me of this story. I know it might seem weird to write a chapter like this but it had to happen this way. Sometimes when you're living in a perfect world it isn't as perfect as you think, or the rug gets pulled out suddenly and you're left to pick up the pieces.

“Boo boo boo, take a look at you  
Hangin' on third and daisy.  
Whoa bo, bo, policeman after you  
Smokin' crack cocaine makes you crazy.”

Julie laid back between Mac's legs like the instructor of the class said to do and he slid his hands over her now swollen belly. It all felt so natural now; the baby was due in a month and he had finally talked her into the parenting classes and now they were doing Lamaze. Together they looked like any other young couple having their first baby. It was almost ordinary. Julie was more trusting of him and he was making an effort; Mac was seriously cutting back on his time in the caves and Walter wasn't too happy about it, but he had other guys to do his work for him too.

But more important, Julie and Mac were friends now, their relationship had evolved as life grew inside of her. Sometimes they even liked each other. Many nights they sat out on Izzy's deck with her drinking lemonade and laughing for hours, life was good.

“This breathing shit ain't gonna help,” Julie growled and Mac laughed at her and reached around to rub her back; she immediately relaxed back into his chest.

“Just pay attention, and if we have to we'll scream for drugs OK?” He whispered back to her, “I got you.”

She actually smiled at that.

“I mean it,” He said when she didn't answer, he couldn't see the grin on her face from where he was behind her, and she smiled even more at that.

“Thanks, Mac...” She turned and kissed his cheek.

/////////////////////////////////////

“You think everything's perfect in your world today,  
I think everything's just not really.  
Take out your glass pipe, take off your sunglasses,  
And tell me what you can see.”

Devon and Mac were packing up product for a final delivery before Mac was off to be with Julie until the baby came. He spent more time at home with her since her due date had come and gone, first babies were often late, but he wanted to be there to drive her to the hospital or for anything else she needed.

“So, what you're a family man now?” Devon teased as his hands moved automatically, after years of doing this work. Both of them could cook and pack up product in their sleep thanks to the careful instructions of their father. The only one who wasn't involved in this shit was Regina, but Walter had her filling in for Julie since she left. All three of his kids worked for him and were emboldened to him, and that was the way he liked it.

“You're just jealous,” Mac replied as he stopped to light a cigarette.

“I don't think so.” Devon continued, “You think it's going to be different don't you?”

“Nope,” Mac answered as he leaned against the counter, “I know it will.”

“Good luck with that.” Devon replied, “I predict this kid will be all up in the family business even earlier than we were.”

Before he knew it Mac had Devon by the shirt and up against the wall with a snarl, “You shut the fuck up, that ain't happening.”

“Lay off dickhead, it was a joke.” Devon surrendered.

“You shut your whore mouth you hear me and you stay the fuck away from both of them,” Mac screamed, “Or I will slit your throat, you got it!”

“I got it,” Devon replied and collected himself, “Jesus you got no sense of humor anymore.”

“Got no time for anyone's shit now Devon, she's depending on me not to fuck up again,” He answered and lit a cigarette, “I don't even know if I can do it, but I'm not letting motherfuckers like you ruin things for me.”

////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“And I say lies, corruption, look this way  
Girly on the corner but she's not okay.  
You got lies if you got rats in the street,  
You got, no shoes no shoes on your babies feet.”

Julie sat on the front porch and Izzy came and sat down next to her handing her a glass of water. They both watched as Mac's truck was coming down the road. It wasn't even dark out yet and he was home already, it had been a pattern lately. He was never out after dark now and he had even told Julie he was taking the rest of the week off after one more delivery. Sometimes he looked for work in the straight job market. Izzy was impressed and secretly so as Julie.

“He's been getting home on time every day,” Izzy mused. She remembered the days when Mac made himself scarce to everyone, preferring to be out in the caves, surfacing into society only long enough to eat and get laid. That had been his pattern all of his life and now, seeing him in daylight, sober was something amazing.

“And?”

“Just saying, it's like...” She looked over with a grin for her niece and Julie knew exactly what she was thinking.

“Don't you dare say it,” Julie warned, but Izzy wasn't having it, she liked Mac and she liked the way he took care of Julie. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her niece and Julie wanted for nothing. That was enough for Izzy.

“Like he's in love...” Izzy answered and she looked over at Julie, “Oh look at you sweetie, you're blushing..."

//////////////////////////////////////

“Whoa ho ho ho ho  
It's a perfect world, perfect world.  
It's a perfect world,  
It's a perfect world, yow.”

Mac pushed her against the door of their bedroom with his body, he was hard against her soft form and Julie sighed so sweetly as he kissed her. Her shape had changed but his hands still found a way to do their dirty work even now. His kisses traveled over her collarbone to her neck and finally to her lips, as Julie pulled her hair out of the bun it was in, Mac liked her hair down.  
Both of them were all hands all over each other as if this was their first time. Mac pressed against her hard, while he licked her skin from her neck to her ear. Julie was groping his ass and wrapping one leg around him as she tried to get his buckle undone.

“Hurry up,” She groaned against his mouth and pulled at his shirt.

The Ob/GYN said sex would bring on labor and if she didn't start soon she was going to be induced and Julie wanted no part of that. The horror stories about Pitocin they had heard was enough and frankly, he was happy to help her out with that.

“Oh don't you worry baby, this baby is coming out of you if I have to fuck you all night long,” He groaned as he dug his hands into her hair and maneuvered her to the bed, “I got this,” They both fell laughing onto the bed still groping and pulling at each other's clothes; sometimes Mac was such good time.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Bo, bo, bo take a look at you on your way to Kenny's  
Whoa bo, bo, why don't you stop that crap?  
Smokin' that bum makes you crazy,  
But everything's crazy in the world today.  
So you, you might as well smoke it anyway.”

The deal went bad and Devon booked leaving Mac to beat the shit out of the asshole who tried to short them. Always when shit went down Devon was in the wind leaving his younger brother to clean up his mess, Mac was done with this lifestyle. Just fucking done. Luckily they were behind the Luna Mesa, and halfway through the beating Regina was at the door with the phone.

“Go pick up Izzy, Julie's at the hospital.” She yelled and Mac's head shot right around, this was it! 

Mac stood up and wiped his hands on his pants, then kicked the man on the ground in the gut just for good measure. There was no time to waste now.

“I'll deal with you later Clyde,” He said, “Don't think I'm gonna forget this, I just got something to do right now.” Then he was gone.

///////////////////////////////////////////

“I say, you might as well  
It hit, it lit, you well like that  
Which you cannot say  
What is up? What's down?  
What is up? What's down?  
What's up, what's down?”

The doctors moved around the room with exact persuasion, the nurses helped him hold her up in the bed, and true to his word Mac had made sure she got the medication she needed. They had given her as much as they could safely and now it was just a waiting game. But, Julie was still a mess, it had been going on all night and she was exhausted and covered in sweat, they both were. 

She had already decided never to have another baby and to chop Mac's dick off first chance she got; she was done, tired of being all up close and personal with him and everyone else in the room. Mac was behind her on the bed on his knees holding her back and supporting her weight so she could sit up and Izzy was down by her feet with the doctor.

“Come on Julie, you're doing great,” He murmured into her ear trying to remain calm and keep her calm, not an easy job. She was in so much pain now and even he had empathy for her, Mac was not known for empathy, it was not a word you associated with him.

After they had been there for ten hours, Julie was relaxed in his arms and finally, something was happening. Everyone in the room was a buzz and she started crying.

“I can't do this,” She cried, “I can't.”

The nurses were right there to wipe the sweat off of her forehead and Mac never left her side even when they told him it was OK and to get something to eat. All the while he encouraged her on and Izzy kept quiet and burned sage low key in the room by the window for good mojo while everyone pretended she wasn't doing it.

“Yes you can, honey,” He continued, “I'm so proud of you...”

“Don't call me honey,” Julie yelled.

“Stop fighting me for five seconds, so we can have this baby, for Christ sake,” Mac snapped back.

“I can see the head,” Izzy reported and started to cry, “Oh he's almost here...”

Julie didn't even hear her words.

“We? We? Fuck you, Mac! I don't see you up here with your legs spread out for the whole fucking town to see.”

The doctor examined her and looked up at them making eye contact with her and Mac behind her, “This is it, Julie, it's time to push again, just one more time.”

“No, I can't, no, no, no,” She fell back against Mac and the doctor signaled him to sit her up again. He raised up on his knees behind her and began lifting her in his strong arms, she was covered in sweat and shivering, he grabbed a blanket and placed it over her shoulders, “Stop it, Mac, stop! I can't, I can't, I'm done!.”

“Yes you can,” He whispered sweetly, “Yes you can, I know you can, just a little bit more, you're almost there, it's almost done,” Then he grinned an evil grin against her ear, he knew just how to get her through this, “Honey.”

“Stop!” She pushed down hard, “Calling!” She pushed again, bearing down as her face contorted and turned red. “Me!” One final push. “Honey!”  
The baby was here, he was crying and so was Izzy.

“Oh fuck Julie, oh fuck, look at him,” Was all Mac could say as they placed the baby on her chest and he wrapped them both in a blanket, “Fuck, he's beautiful.”

He pulled her close to him and wrapped the blanket around all three of them as he settled in and felt a change wash over his entire life.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“I don't know what's going round  
Head is spinning and it feels alright.  
But the kids, the kids  
The kids are alright.”

“Hey there Michael, its Daddy,” He kissed the baby's cheek as he walked around the room holding him as if he held babies every day, he was a natural, “I got you now and I'm gonna make sure you never want for anything, I'm gonna take care of you and your Mom, I promise you that.”

Mac paced the room holding his son and promising him the world, hoping he'd be able to follow through on all of it. If intention counted at all, he would be successful. He already arranged to start driving trucks back and forth through the Midwest for a trucking company, which might keep him away sometimes but would afford them many of the things they needed. It was a way out of 'the lifestyle' and Mac was grabbing it with both hands.

He also didn't want Julie going back to bartending either, he wanted her home with the baby, and with Izzy, away from that element and safe. He had told her that and for once she hadn't picked a fight over it, she was in love with this baby and she never wanted to be apart from him again. Regina could keep her job forever if she wanted.

During the night the nurses had taken Michael back to the nursery and Julie woke up at three am, four hours after he had been born and left Mac who was asleep in a chair by her bed. She walked down to the nursery and asked to take the baby back to her room, she missed him too much.

Mac woke up as she came back in the room, re-positioned himself in the chair, watched her get into bed holding the baby and gazed at both of them until the sun came up.

Now Izzy stepped up behind Mac as he handed the baby back to Julie so she could breastfeed, he never got tired of watching it. There was nothing in this world more beautiful to him.

“You did so good, both of you,” Izzy praised as she sat down on the bed, “This baby has blue eyes, big beautiful blue eyes, just like his Daddy,” She winked at Mac and even Julie smiled, “Looks like he has your charm too Mac.”

“Jules gorgeous mouth and hair though,” Mac added as there was a knock on the door. The three of them turned and there was Walter in the doorway with flowers and balloons, “Came to see my grandson...”

///////////////////

“Bo bo bo bo  
It's a perfect world.  
Whoa on and on it's a perfect world  
Gotta keep living in a perfect world.”

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Chapter Eleven

The baby was crying again, it seemed like he would never sleep through the night. The boy had a set of lungs on him, that was for sure and Mac said he took after Julie that way since she was always running her mouth. It had been five weeks and Michael never slept more than four hours at a clip, so neither did his parents. This was the cold reality of parenthood, you never felt like you had enough sleep. Just when you settled down to close your eyes and rest, the baby would cry again.

Mac and Julie learned that right away.

That was normal, especially for breastfeeding, in fact sometimes it was worse. Earlier that day Julie had pumped milk for bottles and Mac rolled over as soon as the monitor lit up. He was on high alert for any sound that kid made, fatherhood had changed him. Now he had something else to focus on besides himself, it felt strange and good to a boy who grew up with no love in his life.

“I got him, you sleep..." Mac was out of the bed in a second, pulling on his pants halfway to the door and he almost didn't hear it. But he did, and he would always be glad he had heard it, later on, when it all went to shit, Julie had sighed "I love you.." as she rolled back over and hunkered down under the covers. 

Maybe she had been half asleep, and maybe she wasn't even aware she had said it. But he had never heard those words from anyone in his life, and it did something to him deep inside, he turned back from the door with his hand on the door jam and looked at her sleeping there, "I love you too,” He said quietly, “You're making me love you."

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

You and me ain't movie stars  
what we are is what we are  
we share a bed some lovin' and t.v. yeah.  
That's enough for a workin' man  
what I am is what I am  
and I tell you, babe,   
well, that's enough for me.

You and Me by Alice Cooper

Mac's new job was working out, but somehow he kept getting pulled back into the 'other' work because Devon was such a fuck up sometimes. Julie and he sat out on the front porch talking, something they did very often now. He was away sometimes overnight hauling pineapples and tomatoes all over the state, but when he was home he was hands-on with Michael. He was there for her in every way except one, and it was too important to ignore or let slide for any longer. She had hung in there for weeks since Michael arrived, it was time for 'the talk'

"If you want to be here with us you need to stop with the cooking and drugs for good." She said for the millionth time that month, "Otherwise, we can't be together, you'll have to leave."

"OK, OK. After this order is done and delivered. I'm out, for real this time.” He took her by the hand as Alice Cooper was coming from the window of Izzy's bedroom on the radio and filtering down to the porch, the baby was asleep in the pack in play over by the door and he just wanted to hold her in his arms, “Lets dance.”

“What's wrong with you?” Julie laughed, Mac had never asked her to dance before, she didn't even think he knew how. It was almost romantic, the sun was going down and Izzy had hung fairy lights all over the porch, it was just perfect.

“Nothing, just like this song, makes me want to be close to you.” He pressed against her and hummed the words to the song in her ear. This was such a different side to him that she was shocked beyond belief and words. With one hand on her waist and the other holding her hand close to both their chests, he moved her around the porch in time to the music as if they danced like this all the time.

Even Julie could appreciate this moment in time between them and she felt like they were going to be OK, they were going to make it. The progress they had made during the previous months was paying off in a huge way. Maybe they could have a normal life.

“Who are you anymore?” She laughed, “You're so full of surprises lately.”

The sun was going down on a perfect day and Julie's heart was full of hope. Just over a year ago she had scratched on an easy shot in pool to have an excuse to do something reckless, and it looked like it had been the best decision she had ever made. 

“I promise, I'm gonna do right by you and him, I swear to god.” Mac replied, “One more delivery tonight and I'm out forever.”

Julie pulled him closer to her, “I believe you, don't let me down.”

“Not this time, I swear.” Mac said, “Never again.”

They danced together listening to the music talking quietly and Julie was thinking they really had a shot. She inhaled his scent deeply, remembering when he used to smell like dirt and meth. He smelled good, so good, clean and her lips touched his neck in three sweet kisses.

“You think maybe tonight?” He pressed against her to make sure she got his meaning. She got it alright, there was no mistaking his throbbing hard cock against her or what it implied.

“You dick,” She laughed, “You're trying to get laid.”

“So sue me, it's been seven weeks...” He answered, and Julie just laughed as they danced until the song was over.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Quitting for good this time,” Mac said as he brought his hand to his mouth to take a drag of his cigarette. He had taken Julie to bed that night, fucked her nice and slow and it had been sweet. Maybe for the first time in his life, he actually made love to someone, there was none of the rage and torment, just passion, desire and something he was only now learning about. Love.

Mac almost decided to just go to sleep next to her, but he had this one last thing to do and then it was over forever. He was now completely off Meth and only smoking pot occasionally, Walter understood, which was unbelievable, the birth of this child had changed a lot of people for the better.

“I figured,” Walter replied.

“Did you now.”

“She's good for you,” Walter took a drag of his cigarette.

“Who would have thought it, me doing this?”

"You know what they say cholo, the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world. "

///////////////////////////////////////////////

Julie sat straight up in bed and looked over at the clock, it was four am and Mac hadn't come back yet and for some reason, she broke out in a cold sweat. Normally she wouldn't worry, he could take care of himself for sure, but lately, he had started calling if he was running late. He said it was a two-hour run to drop off some product and he'd be back by two. She picked up her phone, there was no call from him and panic started to set in.

Especially when she saw there was a text message from Devon and when she read it she started to cry. She had let him get close, she had believed in him and she had been a fool.

Mac had been pulled over by the cops on his way to do the drop, for some dumb violation with fifteen bags of meth in the truck. Ten more minutes and he would have been home free, he would have dropped it off and been on his way home to her. But that was not how it went down.

He was charged with possession with intent and manufacturing. Mac was going to jail, for a long time. Eventually, he plead down to just possession with intent and they dropped the manufacturing, but this wasn't his first time at Cinderella's ball. There was no drug court and no deals, he refused to name any accomplices or say where he got the product; he was on his way to prison either way, no matter what happened.


	11. 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has been reading this. It still makes me cry at the thought that people actually read what I write. I love you all and am so grateful. So, a lot of you expressed the thought that Mac was set up maybe by Walter or Devon. He wasn't, he just broke the law and got caught in a stupid way as many people go down for those kinds of crimes. Just a wrong place, wrong time scenario. So I'm skipping over his incarceration entirely and sending him home to Julie's arms. J/K She's pissed as hell, he's pissed at her too, so they are even LOL. Of course, they have to be mad, or there wouldn't be any story would there?

Rosie by Jackson Brown

“She was standing at the load-in,  
When the trucks rolled up.  
She was sniffing all around  
Like a half grown female pup,  
She wasn't hard to talk to.  
Looked like she had nowhere to go,  
So I gave her my pass,  
So she could get in and see the show.

Well, I sat her down right next to me,  
And I got her a beer.  
While I mixed that sound on stage,  
So the band could hear.  
The more I watched her watch them play,  
The less I could think of to say,  
And when they walked off stage,  
The drummer swept that girl away.

But Rosie you're all right - you wear my ring.  
When you hold me tight - Rosie that's my thing.  
When you turn out the light - I've got to hand it to me,  
Looks like it's me and you again tonight Rosie.

Well, I guess I might have known from the start,  
She'd come for a star.  
Might have told my imagination not to run too far,  
Of all the times that I've been burned,  
By now you'd think I'd have learned,  
That it's who you look like,  
Not who you are.

But Rosie you're all right - you wear my ring.  
When you hold me tight - Rosie that's my thing.  
When you turn out the light - I've got to hand it to me.  
Looks like it's me and you again tonight Rosie.” 

3333333333333333333333333333333333333333

Five Years later.

“Rosie”, by Jackson Browne was playing on the jukebox that day when the news reached Julie and she wasn't surprised, she had been expecting it, sooner or later he was getting out and then, Mac would be back. But Devon had advised her to get the hell out of dodge now, and that had made her mad; this was her hometown too, she grew up here, lived here and had family here. Mac could fuck right off. She had never gotten to finish school and now this place was all she had, for better or worse. 

What was between them was over, and had been for a long time. If he hadn't fucked up and got sent to prison, maybe it might have been different, but he did and now it was what it was. It was a shame, but something she never allowed herself to think about, out of sight out of mind was her philosophy, it hurt less that way.

Although it wasn't, this town had to be big enough for both of them, plus there was Michael to consider now. He was almost Six and Mac had been sent away when he was an infant. Michael was at that age where he asked questions, a lot of questions, all the time, he knew Walter was his grandpa and that Mac, his father was in jail. Julie had not kept that from him or kept him from Mac's family, who loved him. Michael enjoyed the love of his grandfather, his 'Dizzy', his uncle Dev and his aunt Gigi, he was a happy child. Still, she wasn't looking forward to dealing with Mac again.

When she saw Devon coming in that day looking like the cat that ate the canary she knew just what it was about. There had been talk for months that Mac would be getting out and she had been preparing herself for it. He would not be happy with her, she had not done what he wanted and in his mind, that would make them enemies. She rolled her eyes as Devon approached her, already talking about it.

“He's out,” Devon said to her as she wiped down the bar, “I presume we'll be seeing him in a few days.” Devon had kept in touch with Mac on occasion through the years, kept him updated on Julie and Michael as best he could. So naturally, he was the first to know he had gotten parole, “I imagine he's hitching his way back or something.”

“Don't care,” She answered as she took the cap off a beer and set it in front of him, Devon was joined by his friend Willy, who sat down and Julie had a beer on the bar for him too.

“He's gonna wanna see his kid.” Devon continued and Julie felt her blood boil, she hadn't visited Mac but he had written to her every day, all his letters were in a box under her bed, unopened. Maybe someday it wouldn't hurt to see them. Maybe someday she could read them she told herself, and now someday was now. It was too hard to think about what they had almost had and she hadn't visited him either. 

Devon was just feeding on her misery like a vampire now, mentioning Micheal and waiting for her to respond. She had to shut this down immediately, that was a closed book as far as she was concerned. Sometimes Devon was a great guy and sometimes like now he just liked to stir the pot.

“Devon, I do not give a fuck if he's getting out of jail. He'll see Michael if I think he should see Michael, you got that!” She answered again, just as she did when Devon first suggested she run the hell away before Mac returned. Over her dead body would she do that, and with Mac, it could come to that.

“Just sayin he's pissed as hell at you,” Devon answered, “He's holding a grudge.”

“Yeah, well fuck him,” She answered, “It's over with us, whatever that clusterfuck was,” She held up her ring finger where a sizable diamond sat. That ring came from Jake, her boyfriend, who was from California. They had casually known each other before Mac went to jail when Jake came to town to work on the railroad that was coming through and became a regular customer at the bar. Jake was a few years younger than her, and he had chased her until she finally agreed to be his wife. Jake was presently at Army basic training and when he got back and was assigned, he hoped they would finally get married. It had been four years, the longest engagement ever in Cainville probably.

Julie's aunt, Dizzy, to Michael, her only relative left alive had been sick with cancer for a long time now, Isabelle had Multiple Myeloma; it didn't kill her right away, just made whatever time she had left miserable. Julie refused to leave her now, even when just a few years ago she was in such a hurry to get away, a fact that she and Jake fought over constantly. He wanted to start a new life with her and Michael, somewhere far away and he had been taking steps towards that for a long time. Going into the Army had been his idea, a way for them to escape forever.

But Izzy had been there when she was a scared kid and an alone single mother, Julie would never leave her, and Michael was so attached to her now too. There was no way she was leaving Cainville, not while Izzy and Walter were still alive. Mac could fuck right off if he thought he could intimidate her. She knew he would try and she knew it wouldn't be pretty at all.

Even so, if she said the word Jake would arrange a wedding, but that wasn't her answer either.

Most girls would want to have a wedding if their only relative was dying, but Julie knew this wedding would not make her Aunt Izzy happy; Isabelle did not like Jake, at all. She loved Mac though and always had, many times in the past she had come to Mac's defense if she thought Julie was being too hard on him and she was angry that Julie broke all contact with him when he went to jail.

Devon laughed, “Julie, you really think he's gonna care about that?” Devon pointed to her finger, “He still thinks of you as his wife. He says Jake better watch himself.”

“I don't give a flying fuck what he thinks, or who he thinks he can threaten, we were never married, and I moved on.” She answered as she tied her dark hair into a sloppy bun on top of her head, “What did he think I was gonna be here tying yellow ribbons all over the place?”

“What the hell are you talking about,” Devon asked and Julie just pushed past him, he didn't get her song reference at all and that just made her more pissed. Who didn't know that dumb Tony Orlando and Dawn song, it was on the fucking jukebox in this place?

Walter was behind her in a second with a sneer for Devon, and he showed Julie “The Persuader” the bat he hid behind the bar. Walter was a changed man, from the moment he saw a little boy named Michael.

“I got you doll,” Walter said, like a protective father. He had always looked out for her, even if she wasn't his son's woman anymore.

“Walter, I don't expect you to wack your kid over me, come on.”

“If he has it coming he has it coming, you're my best bartender,” Walter nodded to the little dark-haired boy playing cars in his office, “And the mother of my grandson.”

Walter had made a complete 360 when Michael was born, and when Mac was sent to prison, he stepped up for Julie and continued helping her to this very day. His side business was handled far away now, he had new workers and Devon still cooked for him, likely Mac would go back on the payroll if he wanted to. But he took over where Mac had left off and never regretted a thing. Some people were just better grandparents then they were parents.

“Don't worry, I'll handle it, I'm not afraid of him...” Julie reassured Walter.

“He did five years and ya dipped, he isn't taking that well, you know it.” Devon continued, “Ain't that right El hefe,” He said to Walter.

Julie squared her shoulders back, “I'll handle it I said.”

Jake had left the week before for basic after much discussion about their future and wasn't due back for six weeks, not that that would mean fuck all to Mac. Jake had seen the Army as a way out for him, Julie and Michael; Julie sighed, her life just got ten times more complicated. When Jake returned he expected an answer from her. They had been engaged for four years and he was tired of waiting. He wanted her to leave town with him; she was considering it, but her aunt was so sick and Walter and Michael had bonded so well.

888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888

“When I got home from work,  
I wanna wrap myself around you.  
I wanna take you and squeeze you,  
'till the passion starts to rise.  
I wanna take you to heaven,  
that would make my day complete.  
You and me ain't movie stars,  
what we are is what we are.  
we share a bed some lovin' and t.v. yeah.  
That's enough for a workin' man,  
what I am is what I am.  
and I tell you, babe,  
well, that's enough for me.”

You and Me by Alice Cooper

8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888

Mac sauntered into the place a few days later and he was immediately aware of Julie's presence there, even before he laid eyes on her for the first time in five years. It was hard seeing her again, she still looked the same, it was like it could have been five years ago and he was there to pick her up after work. But it wasn't, time had passed, hard time for both of them, it was over between them according to her; Mac disagreed with that. Julie had never visited, her anger at him had never dissipated either, but that also meant Mac hadn't seen Michael either.

He had quite a bit of anger himself, he wrote to her every fucking day for five years and not once had she responded. He wouldn't even know how Michael was or what he looked like if Devon hadn't sent him a picture from time to time. Devon said she was marrying someone else and Mac was there to let her know it wasn't happening.

Nothing had changed, he was a lot of things that was true, but she was the one for him. Whenever they were in a room together the air became electric, it had been that way since they were teenagers, it just took them a while to get there was all, but they had gotten there. They had been on the verge of something wonderful before he was busted and he wanted it back.

He stopped at the jukebox to make this a grand entrance worthy of a six-year absence and put a few coins in. He picked a song, turned around and there she was, his girl.

The hair stood up on his body, even though he had already taken care of business with a couple of hookers earlier; she made him hard just by existing. She always had. Mac licked his lips as he watched her she was bent over doing something on the floor behind the bar and he stared openly at her very fine ass.

As if she sensed him there she stopped what she was doing.

“What's this here? Lost pussy?” He said as he approached her at the bar, a song was on the jukebox, one that always reminded him of her and he knew she knew it too. It was perfect really.

Julie huffed as she stood up with an arm full of glasses, “Couldn't you do better than that?”

“They're playing our song...” He said as the memory of dancing with her under the fairy lights on Izzy's front porch flooded his brain, the last time he was truly happy.

Julie narrowed her eyes, “Fuck that song, I wanna vomit every time I hear it.”

She walked the length of the bar gathering glasses and he followed on the other side, she might have been the only person in the place who wasn't afraid of him. That he had to respect.

“Go away Mac,” She said.

“Afraid not, I'm back and here to stay...”

Julie ignored him and that just made him angry, well angrier than he already was at the way things had happened. He accepted that he broke the law, and was caught. What he couldn't accept was her cutting him out of her life and Michael's, and he would never accept her with another man.

“You need to see things from my point of view, Jules,” He reached across the bar and pulled her by her shirt, “You never came to see me, kept my son from me and then I hear you've taken up with that piece of shit, ain't he a little too young for you?”

“Let go of me,” She warned, but he didn't let go, he licked his lips and pulled her closer.

“You fucked me over,” He was so close to her, close enough to kiss, and she almost closed her eyes and let him, right there in front of every one, two minutes in a room with him and it was back to this shit again, ”Wheres my son?”

“You fucked up and there were consequences...” She pulled away, once she got her head back, “There's a difference.”

He backed up, but never took his eyes from her, “Keep that jerk off away from Michael,” He pointed at her, “You hear me? Michael is my son, my son!”

“Will you shut your fucking mouth for one second, for one god damn second, for once Mac?” Julie countered, Michael was down the hall and she didn't want him to hear this bullshit.

“This ain't over, It's never going to be over with us,” He growled at her, 'Where is he? At Izzy's?

“You really need to lay off the crank and the alcohol.” She said, “I can see you started both up again real fast didn't you?”

“Fuck off Julie,” He snarled as he left the bar and walked toward the tables, intent on throwing some shit around to make his point “This ain't over! I wanna see my son! Now, where is he?”

Walter was there in a second with his bat in hand, “I wouldn't do that son.”

"Oh poor you,” Julie hissed at him quietly, “I mean I tell you not to fuck up. I tell you I'll leave if you do and then you're shocked when I follow through?"

“Shut up,” Mac countered.

Off to the side behind Walter's office door, a little boy peeked out the door, caught his eye and suddenly Mac was calm again. The child peered from around the door at him and Mac looked over at Julie, she nodded her head, so he walked over. The boy clearly recognized him, at least this bitch had shown him pictures of his father.

He knelt down on one knee and looked at the tiny version of himself, with his blue eyes and Julie's dark hair, “You know who I am?” He asked.

The boy nodded.

“Yeah?” Mac smiled, maybe for the first time in years, “Who am I?”

“You're Mac,” He paused, “Daddy.”

Mac smiled and felt something he never felt before, complete peace, he stood up and turned to see Julie behind him. There were tears on her face.

“I never wanted him to see you like that, I wanted it to be like this.” She said.

“Thank you,” Mac answered and there was a moment between them, he knew she was thinking of the good times they had together, her eyes were soft. He was thinking of their life together too before he was arrested, too soon the spell was broken.

“Don't get used to it,” She whispered so the boy wouldn't hear as they walked back out into the hall, “You smell like day old, booze, crack and whores, when you don't then we'll talk about this,” She held her hand out for Michael and led him down the hall and out the back door. Now she was going to have to arrange daycare for him after school, he couldn't be here now. Mac was clearly a loose cannon with an ax to grind. It was never her intention to keep them apart if Mac was clean, but he clearly wasn't he smelled like three days of alcohol, meth, and God knew whatever else.

This was going to be a rough ride, she just knew it.


	12. 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The song in this is "Poison" by Alice Cooper, a personal favorite of mine. Thank you for reading Xoxoxoxo

“Your cruel device,  
Your blood like ice.  
One look could kill,  
My pain, your thrill.

I wanna love you, but I better not touch (don't touch),  
I wanna hold you, but my senses tell me to stop.  
I wanna kiss you, but I want it too much (too much),  
I wanna taste you, but your lips are venomous poison.

You're poison running through my veins  
You're poison, I don't wanna break these chains.”

Poison by Alice Cooper

3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

He was poison to her, this man, in a way he had been all her life. It was just no use, he could always wear her down and this was no different. Once again he'd gotten under her skin like a virus with just a smile it seemed. He could be so charming sometimes and she wanted what he had for her, and he was all too willing to give her.

Why, oh why was he so fucking good looking. What was it about him that she could never resist. Jack was good looking, not in the animalistic, growling way that Mac was though. But he was handsome for sure; Julie didn't want to think about Jack now, Mac was all she could see.

What. Was. It? What power did he of all people have over her? Why could she never say no to him, no matter how many times she swore she would.

He was like her kryptonite, no that wasn't right. He was her fix, the strap around her arm and the needle in her veins. Mac was like a bump of the best blow money could buy. A high that could take you up into the sky, to heaven and back, and if you weren't careful you'd end up in hell. But Fuck that right now. He was in her bed and for a little while, she would just turn her mind off and feel. So name your poison, and it shall be yours the voice inside her head told her, what is your drug of choice. Well, it was a person of course.

They had waited so long...

“Your mouth, so hot,  
Your web, I'm caught.  
Your skin, so wet,  
Black lace on sweat.

I hear you calling and it's needles and pins (and pins).  
I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name.  
Don't wanna touch you, but you're under my skin (deep in).  
I wanna kiss you, but your lips are venomous poison.

You're poison running through my veins.  
You're poison, I don't wanna break these chains.  
Poison.”.

The mattress dipped as he climbed on top of her and Julie sighed out loud, Mac's body was hard against hers and she could feel his weight through her whole being. There was nothing like the weight of a man on you and her legs spread in submission and anticipation. She had missed him so much, he was finally here.

Her breath came out in puffs as he moved between her thighs to get them further apart. Mac liked her legs spread wide and he always wanted to be right there between them, she thought with a grin and when her legs were apart enough to his satisfaction he came up on his knees.

With a smile and a wink he reached into his front pants pocket and pulled the tin out, he shook his head when she started to object.

"Just a little Molly, sweetheart, just a little taste to get in the mood," Obscenely, Mac licked his fingers one at a time, and giving her a show and a promise of what was coming next, then pausing to run one hand up her leg. He finally dipped his fingers into the powder, rubbed it on his gums and waited for the curtain to come down; when it hit him it took his breath away.

The rush came over him, warm, and familiar; his skin flushed as the drug hit his opiate receptors. White light flashed before his eyes and desire flooded his mind. This was what he had waited for, this feeling had been missing from his life for a long damn time.

Molly was not a new drug to him, Meth was his drug of choice of course, but Ecstasy was his sex drug, there was nothing like it. Fucking on X was something else; he'd had meth and heroin in the clink but not this, not in a long time. What was the sense of having a sex drug in the slammer?

This had been long awaited and every part of him was euphoric. The hair stood up on his entire body and his dick throbbed anew. Blood coursed through his body hot as fire as he looked down at her. She was beautiful and she was everything. His lover and the mother of his only child. What he felt for Julie was tenfold, there were no women to have in jail, but he had her now.

And he intended to have her for as long as he wanted.

"Come'er," He pulled her up and repeated the process, sliding his fingers into her mouth and she allowed it. Then he moved back on top of her, pressing his cock against her.

“One look (one look) could kill (could kill),  
My pain, your thrill.

I wanna love you, but I better not touch (don't touch).  
I wanna hold you, but my senses tell me to stop.  
I wanna kiss you, but I want it too much (too much).  
I wanna taste you, but your lips are venomous poison.

You're poison running through my veins.  
You're poison, I don't wanna break these chains.  
Poison.”

Julie groaned and pushed against him trying to get relief from the burning between her legs, she needed friction, she needed him. Nothing mattered except the two of them and getting naked as soon as possible.

"You want that?" Mac grinned as he pushed against her and the effect of the drugs he gave her made her just the way he wanted her. She was hot and ready for him in a second as the drug hit her, squirming beneath him just the way he liked it, "Let's get you out of these, hmm?"

Julie nodded her head as he sat up in his knees and peeled the t-shirt he was wearing off and shucked out of his jeans. As usual, he had no underwear on, he had told her once it was a waste of time. If he was taking his pants down it was either to fuck or piss Mac had told her, and boxers just got in the way of both.

She had to admit the view was spectacular.

Grabbing his knife he made quick work of things and cut the straps of her shirt to have better access to her body. He let his hands go up her rib cage and over her breasts nice and slow, taking care to swipe her nipples with each thumb.

Her breathing was heavier and her eyes glassy already, either from the X or his touch, or both. He stared down at her body and stroked himself, giving her a leering grin. Now her hands went up to her breasts to finish what he started and he died a thousand deaths watching her touch herself.

"Been waiting a long time to do this Jules," He groaned and she sighed again; Mac was calling her Jules, the thought washed through her addled brain now. He was smiling, calling her by his name for her and all was right with the world, "You want a good hard fuck don't ya? I know I do." He purred.

Her body was on high alert and Julie could feel the blood pumping through her veins like fire. She was not a drug user but this felt, this felt wonderful. She would let him do this again if he wanted to, who was she even kidding, she would let him do anything.

Julie watched as he stroked the length of his impressive cock before her eyes and she was nearly salivating. Mac was a dirty motherfucker when he wanted to be, "Been dreaming of cumming all over those gorgeous fucking tits," He groaned as he teased her through the men's boxer shorts she had worn to bed that night, first with his fingers and then his dick.

Julie moaned and arched her back like a cat that had just been scratched in all the right ways. It was the drugs and it wasn't, he just knew how to push all the right buttons. He always had, and like it or not he owned her. There was no one like him. He was her master, he always would be.

There never would be another love like this, she had tried to make one and it was impossible. What they had was life changing.

"You want them off," He asked and she nodded," He responded by teasing her more, he could feel her getting wet through the shorts and it was hard to stop, but he did, he would be patient, and open this gift slowly, "Soon I promise, I'm gonna fuck you so good."

His lips were where she wanted them, his mouth hot and wet on that spot of her neck only he knew about. His hand slipped under her shorts and she was in heaven. Soon Mac was devouring her right breast, licking and teasing her nipple until she was out of her mind.

His fat fingers filled up her pussy and she could only imagine how his cock would feel. No one had a cock like Mac. He knew it too. He was packing heat and had the attitude to go with it. Fuck her life.

“Oh fuckkkkkk," She groaned and he smiled at that, then went right back to work with that evil mouth of his.

This was just a supposed to be a one night stand, that was all. Before she knew it everything had gotten way out of hand, all because she scratched on an easy shot so she could fuck the town bad boy without consequences. How wrong she had been. Everything has consequences.

Now she was trapped again by him and his sexual power. His fingers were bringing her to the brink of orgasm and she couldn't stand the wait any longer. Six years was a long time to go without this.

Neither of them could hold out any longer. Mac yanked down her shorts and sunk inside of her in one motion and she cried out.

He stretched her just right with that huge baseball bat cock he had and she came immediately. Her entire body convulsed at once, and it went on and on.

Her eyes rolled back into her skull hard as she rode this wave out then she sat straight up in bed, panting and moaning.

Julie was confused, it always confused her when this happened.

Her hand was between her legs and she realized it had just been a dream. This time they had done drugs together and then fucked, her subconscious was switching it up it seemed.

Her phone was ringing now Jesus Christ. She knew it was Jack. He called every morning but she just couldn't talk to him, not now. 

This wasn't the first fuck dream she had about Mac and she had a feeling it wouldn't be the last either. This just sucked.

Julie laid back down in a huff of desperation and closed her eyes, fuck her life indeed.

“Well, I don't wanna break these chains.  
Poison  
Running deep inside my veins.  
Burning deep inside my veins.  
Poison  
I don't wanna break these chains.  
Poison  
I don't wanna break these chains.”

3333333333333333333333333


	13. 14

“Hey, how's Izzy doing?” Mac asked as Julie walked by the table he had planted himself at for the night, for the third night in a row demanding whiskey and being a general dick. Julie turned and looked down at him as Walter watched from the bar ready to jump in if needed. Julie was angry that he brought up Izzy, maybe the only person left in the world that still saw good in him. After her dream that morning she was none too pleased to see him in the flesh.

She was also not happy to see Suzie Marshall hanging all over him like he was the second coming of Christ. Like it or not, he would leave with that one tonight and make sure Julie knew all about it.

In Walter's opinion, Mac needed to get his ass out in the caves where he belonged, he had enough of him hanging around and bothering Julie. If he wasn't going to get a straight job then he needed to do what he did best, make meth. If he wasn't going to do that then he needed to stop hanging around the bar being a pain in the ass.  
Case closed, this game he was playing of trying to make her jealous was so childish, but Walter knew it was also working.

They both needed to get shit straightened out, there was a three-day cook coming up and Walter had orders to fill. There was no time for this crap and, at the moment walking the straight line was not on Mac's agenda. His agenda it seemed was to harass Julie and get high. Walter had no time to referee and furthermore he resented that Julie didn't bring Michael to work now, above all he liked spending time with his grandson. He was a different person with Michael then he was with his own kids, he missed sitting in his office coloring with the boy.

Mac was using, and as long as he was Julie wouldn't bring Michael around him, so that cut into the time Walter got to see the boy too. Mac was fucking up Walter's program and it was only a matter of time before they came to blows.

“Hey, I asked you a question?” Mac slurred, “How is Izzy?”

For whatever reason, her aunt loved this man, and always did, and he knew that was a way to get his foot back in the door. All his life he had been charming women and Julie's aunt was one of them. She didn't care that he cooked and sold drugs, she didn't care that he was borderline abusive, Isabelle loved Mac. 

She had loved him when he was a thirteen-year-old kid chasing after her niece, she loved him when he moved in with them when they found out Michael was coming. Izzy loved him when he was arrested for possession with intent to distribute and manufacturing, she loved him now, despite who he was and Isabelle believed he was her niece's soulmate. 

By happenstance and some cosmic shit, they had made a beautiful child together. They had been on the precipice of a beautiful life and Izzy still believed it was possible.

“She's fine.”

“She up for a visit?” He asked, “You think?”

“It's not gonna work...” She answered and started to walk away, he reached up and took her arm, “Knock it off, keep your hands to yourself,” She pulled away, but looked back at him, which was what he wanted.

Mac was ignoring Suzie now, “Suzie, why don't you go powder your nose or somethin,” He said and the girl reluctantly got up and did as he told her to, then he turned back to Julie.

“Why'd you make her leave on my account?” Julie snarked as he reached for her again and she backed away from him.

“ Funny,” Mac stared her down, “You never had complaints about my hands on you before, even when we weren't getting along all that good.” He grinned at her, letting his words sink in to remind her of their love/ hate relationship previously,“ I can give you a reminder,” He cocked his head to the side and held his hands up together to mimic being tied. He had tied her up in a rage once and it had been hot; neither of them would ever forget it, he could see her eye twitch but she never looked away, “ Not interested? That's fine.” He stood up and looked down at her, making sure she got his meaning, he was bigger than her and powerful, “ Now, I'm gonna go say hi to your aunt who's been helping you take care of my boy all this time, tell her thank you. You got a problem with that?”

“Do what you want, you will anyway.”

“Like it or not Julie, we got history, we got a kid together and we are always going to be chained together by that.” He spat out, “I'm here and I'm not going anywhere again.”

“You're right, I don't like it one bit and I don't like what you've become, you're using again,” She yelled, “It could have been so different for us, and now I just hate you.”

“Don't worry sweetheart, it's mutual.” It wasn't, and he wanted her back, but he wasn't letting her know that. He just had to figure out how to extricate her from Jack, somehow he thought tying her to a bed might not work this time, although he was tempted to do it just the same, just for fun.

“You'll just get busted again and go right back in the clink, I can see it now,” Julie said, breaking his concentration on just how he was going to get back into her life and bed.

“Joke's on you then,” He quirked his eyebrow at her, “I'm not gonna ever get caught again, I'm going to be in my kid's life and I'm not ever going to stop either.”

Julie watched as he summoned Suzie from the bathroom and walked out the door, taking care to slam it as he left. He was using again, that much was clear to her. Anyone who thought you couldn't get drugs in prison what dumb as a box of rocks. He was a lot worse than he ever was before, he didn't even try to hide it. The Mac in her dream wasn't this one, but it didn't matter, what was that saying, the heart wants what the heart wants?

8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888

“I heard Macerio is home,” Izzy said to Julie that night when she brought her something to eat courtesy of Walter, and on the house, as was his usual for Isabelle. Julie stopped short in the kitchen as she put the bag on the counter, she had only been home five seconds and already she was irritated. Bad news sure traveled fast. Mac had been hanging around the bar, annoying the hell out of her and being suggestive every chance he got and Julie didn't want to go to sleep that night. If she had the dream again when she was fairly certain he was probably doing lines off some girls ass right now, she was going to scream. He made no effort to hide his whoring around as he might have before and he was high all the time.

The next night Walter planned to send Mac and Devon out on an errand to keep him busy and out of Julie's hair. They had to cook this weekend and Walter had already cautioned Mac about being all up in Julie's shit and making mistakes again. He got pulled over for a busted tail light because he was distracted by her and ended up doing five years, it was almost comical if it wasn't so fucking sad, Walter was not about that bullshit. 

Business was business. Either he was in this time or he was out, there was no in between. If he wanted out that was fine, but it was clear that Mac had a tin to keep filled now. That was fine with Walter who now ran that business from afar, there were no more drug deals going down at the bar, in the years since Mac was gone, a lot had changed.

Walter was alright, he did right by her and Michael when Mac was sent away, and Julie never forgot that. Her parents had died long ago when Julie was ten, Izzy raised her and Walter had been a huge help to them. Long ago Izzy was his bartender, before Julie now, he still paid Izzy's health insurance premium, even though she hadn't worked for him since she got cancer, three years ago.

Both of their families went way back Izzy was the only one who called Mac by his full name, everyone else got a fist in the face, including Julie if they called him Macerio.

“Who did you hear that from?”

“Walter,” Izzy laughed, “Bet he was glad to see you.”

“Not so much...” She laughed, then watched a smile cross her aunt's lips, she was never going to let it go, “Forget it Iz, it's not gonna happen.”

“It ain't over till the fat lady sings Juliet Irene, you just remember that.” Izzy waved her finger at her as Julie brought her the food, bypassing her oxygen tubing and sitting down next to her on the couch.

“Why do you love him so much?” She asked as she placed everything on the table and helped Izzy unpack it, “He's a dick, he's gross and much worse than he used to be.”

“That's easy,” Izzy replied and met her eyes, “He loves you, mad, you're the only woman he's ever gonna love.”

“He has a fuckin shitty way of showing it and you know it.”

“You listen here, there ain't nothing that boy wouldn't do for you or that kid you got and you know it, that means something.” She answered, “He made some mistakes, sure. Don't we all. Where has Jack been?”

“You know he's in basic,” Julie told her for the millionth time it seemed.

“What's he ever done for you?” Isabelle pressed, “And don't tell me about that rock, cause anyone can go buy a big diamond, but when you need him, where is he?”

“I get it, I get it, you don't approve.”

“Bingo!” Izzy said with a grin.

88888888888888888888888888888888

Mac's parole officer showed up a few weeks later and with a laugh that everyone heard Julie pointed him to Mac who was sitting at a table eyeballing her. She was more than happy to sick the officer on him and ruin his day. He had been trying to ruin hers for three weeks now and she was sick of him and his scowling face. She was sick of dreaming about him and watching him be all fucked up and dancing with every woman that came through the doors.

The guy didn't stay long and he didn't take him away in silver bracelets, unfortunately, and as soon as the cop was gone Mac was in her face. She had indeed ruined his day, mission accomplished, she smiled to herself. More than anything she wished he would just stop hanging around, but Walter had no work for him at the minute and Mac had pocketfuls of money to throw around.

“Thanks a lot, Julie,” He said taking a swig of his beer, lately he was calling her Julie more often than Jules, his pet name for her. He only called her Julie when he was mad at her and since she refused him visitation with Michael he was calling her Julie again. If he was really, really pissed off he called her Juliet, her given name.

“You're welcome,” She smiled as she wiped down the bar, “Guess you're already on his radar huh, imagine that.”

“Couldn't you have given me a signal for old times sake?” He made an obscene sexual gesture with his hands and hips which only made her scowl at him.

"You were not that good a lay that I'll lie to for you to the cops." She replied with a laugh and that actually made him laugh. Clearly, she didn't remember things correctly.

"Oh fuck you, Juliet,” Now he was using her full name, “I was the best you ever had and you know it." He set the beer down and smiled back at her, but it was a half menacing smile, “Quit denying it.”

Her phone rang, they both looked at it and Mac grabbed for it but she was too quick. She picked it up and answered and Mac leaned in to see who she was talking to.

“Hey that Jack on the phone?” Mac asked and didn't wait for her to answer, “Tell him he's a dead man if he ever comes back here, I'm gonna gut him like a fish for touching you.”

“Gow up!” She said as she moved away to speak with Jack.

“Don't care if he has a gun Jules,” Mac pulled out his knife and made a swiping motion with it, “Gut him like a fish, you make sure you tell him.”

Walter poked his head out of his office and motioned for Mac to come inside, he nodded his acknowledgment and turned back to her, “See ya around sweet cheeks, I'm ready for a game of pool whenever you are.”

“Over my dead body,” She called after him and he just laughed and flipped her the bird, this was OK with him, they were talking, their old banter was not dead yet.

“Geeze Jules, I sure hope it doesn't come to that.” He said as he walked down the hall to meet with Walter, “By the way, take that fuckin ring off right now, you ain't marrying that prick. Tell Jack I said that too!” He bellowed as he left and Julie just shook her head and continued her phone call. He still thought all his problems could be solved with yelling and pushing people around, or being so charming that you doubted what you saw with your own eyes.


	14. 15 and 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac makes a plan.

Time marched on and nothing much changed, people came and went, they all lived their lives. Regina arrived for her shift after being off; she had missed all the commotion of the latest of hurricane Mac and his threats to Jack but Julie filled her in as they stocked the bar and washed glasses before the place opened. Michael was at preschool, where he was most days, and now that Mac had made it his business to go there every day Julie didn't bring him to the bar after school anymore. 

Reluctantly she brought him home to stay with Izzy at three if she had to work and felt guilty about that, but she had no choice. Izzy wasn't well but Mac was clearly using and she didn't trust him as far as she could throw him now. Izzy was sicker now that was true, but sometimes it seemed like Michael breathed new life into her.

It was true what they said about kids, they kept you busy and they kept you young. Izzy and Michael had a special connection, and they loved spending time together. Many nights Julie would come home to find both of them asleep on the couch watching TV with a bowl of popcorn between them.

“I hate that I missed all the drama, you know how I hate to be out of the loop,” Regina said as she tied her long blonde hair up into a ponytail, “I guess I picked the wrong time to go on vacation.”

She was tan from a month in Las Vegas sitting by a hotel pool visiting a friend that lived there that she went to college with back in the day. She looked great and well rested, a stark contrast to the way Mac looked with his under eye bags and hollow looking face that was the norm now. He was a hot mess and getting worse, he never went to see Izzy and Julie was pretty sure he couldn't face her.

All of the siblings looked alike though, having the same father and different mothers, Walter's propensity for blondes yielded him three blonde haired children that tanned in the sun because of their Mexican blood.

There was a time when Gina didn't live in Cainville and didn't see Walter and Mac, her mother had taken her and Devon far away. After she died they both came looking for their father when they were in their twenties and the rest was history. That was the thing about this dusty town, once you got there you never really left, and if you did, you always came back. Julie knew that all too well.

“Just your brother and his bullshit, I'm sure there will be more,” Julie answered, then added with a slight smile too small to see if you weren't looking closely, “To be clear; your younger brother.”

Regina smiled, she enjoyed this friendship that bloomed between her and Julie after Michael was born. Regina had been away at school until he was a year old but since she returned she was a big part of his life day to day. Michael had an extended family that adored him, for that Julie always felt very lucky and very blessed.

The two women were close in age and spent a lot of time with each other. Regina didn't work in the drug portion of Walter's business, she was strictly working at the bar; Mac and Devon worked in the caves but kept their sister out of it. She knew what the real family business was though, the whole town did, this bar and hotel was just a stopping point for people traveling to other places, this was not how they made their money.

“I had no doubt which one you meant,” She smiled at her friend, “I think he's just running his mouth for show Jules to get a rise out of you like he used to,” Regina had said, “It used to work...”

“That is so over,” Julie answered and watched the door wondering if he was going to show up again like he had been every day for weeks now. She knew he would, Mac was a tenacious bastard, he was like a dog with a bone and she knew he would not give up easily. She could abide him seeing Micheal if he was clean, she would work with him on that. Even before she knew he was getting out, Julie decided she would set up visitation with him when the time came, if he was clean.

But clearly, he was not. He had regressed to what he was before they had become involved with each other. Maybe he was worse now, he was always bent on some shit and more than a few times he had left the bar drunk as fuck with trashy women, making sure that Julie saw. He was just that juvenile to want to make her jealous, and she was.

“Nobody told him that,” Regina laughed, “ You better hope he isn't sweet-talking his way back into your house like last time...”

“I already told her not to fall for it again.”

“Smart of you, Izzy's soft spot for him would be in high gear now.” Regina said, “He looks like he's been on the pipe the entire time he was away.”

“He quit once,” Julie bummed a cigarette from Gina, “It's ...”

“Sad?”

“Yes...” Julie answered wistfully, if only he was clean, maybe they would have had a shot again, “Its the saddest thing I think I'm ever gonna see.”

“You still care about him...”

Julie felt her chest ache, a deep low ache; she remembered when he was arrested and the grief she had felt for what they could never have, for what they almost had. She remembered how lonely she was when Michael was an infant and how empty it all was after Mac had left her bed. When he was gone she cried herself to sleep every night from missing him. It was a dark time in her life that she was more than ready to forget.

She had walked around in a daze for six months after until Jack made his intentions known to her. He had been a casual acquaintance of hers and Mac's, someone they knew from the bar, he saw an opportunity and took it.

She and Jack never lived together though, they started dating casually when Michael was almost one. When he proposed Julie knew she wasn't as excited as she should have been when someone she loved was presenting her with a ring on bended knee, but she said yes. 

He was what Michael needed, what she needed, and she wanted off this ride that was Mac Garcia. The price of that attraction was too high, no matter how great the thrill was.

“Gi, I can't afford to care about him, look what it's gotten me?”

“ A beautiful child.”

“And a broken heart...”

“I really sucks to love someone and know you can't be together...” Gina sighed and Julie didn't know if she was referring to Jack or Mac.

///////////

Izzy sat out on the front porch and watched the man walking up her driveway, she wondered why it had taken him so long to come. She would know him anywhere, and she smiled. His hair was longer and he was older, clearly, he had lived through some hard years lately, but she was happy to see him. The jacket Mac wore was tattered as were his shirt, pants, and, shoes; his clothes looked too big for his frame. His gait was steady, determined, he walked as if he had something terribly important to say. Izzy was happy to see that he still held his head up high and the years away hadn't changed the self-assured man that he was.

That was a good thing, Izzy thought to herself, he was going to have to fight this time, it would be harder than before. As Mac got closer she noticed the telltale signs of drug use, she had seen it on him before, the dirty scruff of his face, the sores on his chest and neck from scratching invisible bugs. The boy didn't know how to get out of his own way it seemed.

Despite the way he looked, which was worse than the last time she had seen Mac, she was happy to see him. She had no time for Jack Kaufman; there was something about that boy she didn't like, nothing specific and he was nice enough. He tried to be good to Julie, it wasn't that, but he wanted to take her away, far away and Michael too from his only family.

She had pulled Julie's cards when she announced her engagement and Izzy knew this marriage was not meant to be. That was a relief to her. She had drawn a card that told her it was never going to happen and she found peace in that.

It would do no good to tell Mac, there was work he needed to do before Julie would even consider even allowing him to see Michael, much less give him another chance. That he did deserve, if he had shown up clean and sober and had not been such a hothead, things might be different now.

Izzy knew he wanted his family back, for all the doubt Julie always had about him, Izzy had no such worries, she could see the good that probably no one else could. She could see the way he cared about Julie, and the way she cared about him, even if she would never admit it.

“Is it ok to sit and talk a bit Iz,” Mac said and she motioned him to sit down.

“I got nothing but time Mac,” She answered, which wasn't entirely true. Mac noticed she was on oxygen now, that wasn't good.

“You ok?” He asked pointing to the tubing that followed her all around the house. She had not needed oxygen when he last saw her. He was not a stupid man, he could see she was failing.

“I'm fine,” She blessed him with one of her sweet smiles, “You just come on and say what you came to say.”

“I wanna thank you for taking care of them...”

Izzy placed her hand on his shoulder and noticed again how he had lost so much weight while he was in prison, it made her sad. He had been home over a month now and still hadn't gained weight, that told her all she needed to know.

“Of course, they're my family,” She paused, “And yours.”

“She's not seeing it that way,” He replied.

“Well, right now I don't blame her,” Izzy answered, “Why are you back on the shit, Mac?”

Had he really thought he could hide the drug use from Izzy? She always had his number, just like Julie did; Izzy was not dumb, and he decided just to admit it.

“Hard to stay clean in prison, especially when your woman dumps you.” Mac snapped out without thinking. But also trying for a little sympathy also.

“Oh boo hoo; cry me a river Macerio, like you're the first man that ever happened to,” Izzy said as she squeezed his shoulder, he was skin and bones, “Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it.”

“Right now I just wanna go kill Jack Kaufman,” He laughed, “That motherfucker pounced on her as soon as my back was turned.”

“That may be true, but he doesn't make her glow... don't you worry about it,” She wanted to tell him about the cards, but then he might not try and change. Mac struggled to figure out just what she was saying, “She was like one of those Fourth of July sparklers when she was with you, didn't you ever notice.”

“What are you talking about her aura or somethin?” Mac really had no use for Izzy's new age crap, she was always talking about crystals and auras, had been since he was a kid. He did have a healing crystal somewhere in his dresser that she had given him a long time ago, maybe he should go look for it. It couldn't hurt right now, anything to change his luck from what it was.

“I'm talking about energy Mac, about happiness.”

“I feel like I ain't ever gonna be happy again,”

Izzy rubbed his back, "Oh my sweet boy, did you think it was going to be easy? Nothing worthwhile comes without hard, honest work," She continued, “Or else how would we appreciate things if they were just handed to us.”

“Sure Iz,” He answered,

“Well surely you didn't think you'd come home and be tossing a ball around with Michael the same day, you are a convicted felon, she's right, she's being a good mother. That's what you want for your son isn't it.” She winked at him.

“I didn't expect that, I knew I'd have to make it right, but I didn't expect her to be such a bitch either.” Mac shrugged.

“Yes you did,” Izzy smiled, “That's what makes you love her. That's the fire that you can't stay away from, nor should you. But the thing is Mac, none of that matters, what you feel, what she feels, it's not important now. You two and your mess is secondary now. Because you have a son who's going to be looking at you wondering how to behave. What do you want him to see?”

That was something to think about, he certainly didn't want to follow in Walter's footsteps. That was for sure.

“If you had shown up here sober, you'd be with your son now.” Izzy said matter of factly, “Get sober.”

////////////////////////////

Ch 16

“Man got his woman to take his seed he got the power oh she got the need.  
She spends her life through pleasing up her man she feeds him dinner or anything she can.  
She cries alone at night too often he smokes and drinks and don't come home at all.  
Only women bleed only women bleed only women bleed.  
Man makes your hair grey he's your life's mistake all you're really looking for's an even break.  
He lies right at you you now hate this game he slaps you once in a while and you live and love in pain.”

Only Women Bleed by Alice Cooper

Mac had taken Izzy's words to heart, but he still had some things he just wanted to do, then he would go to one of those meetings down at the church, everyone knew that was where all the drunks and ex-druggies went. But not just yet. He had a point to prove with her, he wanted to see this glow Izzy was talking about.

Despite the advice of a woman he respected greatly, Mac wanted to do things his way, he was an addict after all... He was who he was at the end of the day, and he would always do what he did, if he didn't make some hard life choices and changes. 

When Julie opened the ladies room door later that night he was there leaning against the sink with a predatory look in his eye. She blew air out between her lips, shook her head and sighed as if to say here we go again. He stepped forward as she tried to turn and leave and grabbed her arm; “No so fast...” He commanded, Mac was again trying to be all bossy, she used to love that, but now... 

Julie didn't know he had been to see Izzy, but she knew that look he was giving her, she used to love that look. That was the look that told her they were going to have an amazing night, the I'm gonna fuck your brains out, and you're going to love it look.

Now it was unsettling.

Now he was between her and the door.

Julie tried to walk past him but he reached out and pushed her into the sink, invading her space with his body and pressing against her back.

“Thought it was time for a little reminder...”

“Get off me,” She growled and he pushed his cock against her ass and groped at her chest.

“Feel what you still do to me?” He groaned into her ear, “I still do it to you too, I know it.”

“Fuck off.” She hissed as his lips touched her neck and he raked his teeth over her skin, she felt that familiar feeling no matter how hard she tried to deny it. Immediately her body was on fire.

“Face it you don't want to marry that boring chump, you like the crazy, this crazy and you like what I can give you.” He breathed into her ear.

His gravely voice always made all the hair on her body stand on end, she looked up into the mirror and saw him behind her, even if he was all strung out, Julie still felt her body respond. His eyes gazed through her and she wanted him desperately at that moment. 

“You know I'll make you cum so hard,” He purred as he slid his fingers over her chest and into her shirt, over her right nipple and attached his teeth to her neck. She closed her eyes for just a second and let the feeling of his mouthwash over her. It felt so good to be in his arms again. But this was a bad idea.

“Get off of me,” She hissed as she tried to extricate herself from his grip, in the mirror he smiled at her. He held her tight for just a minute, just long enough.

“Don't worry,” He pulled his hands away, “I ain't gonna force you, I want ya to beg for my cock like you used to.”

“That's not gonna happen.”

“So you keep saying...” He slid his fingers out of her shirt and allowed her to turn around while he grinned at her.“You can lie all you want but we both know no one does you like I do.”

“Whatever,” She huffed, he was right but she was never going to admit it to him, he'd never let it go if she did. He'd never let her go either.

“Tell me somethin, “

“What?”

“Devon says you been engaged for years, and yet I don't see Jack anywhere around,” He leaned forward, facing her now trapping her with his hands at the sink and bringing his face close to hers, “Why ain't you married yet?” He tilted his head and came close enough to kiss her, but he didn't.

He stared into her eyes and she stared back, one thing about her that he loved and hated equally, Julie would never back down, no matter what.

“He went into the Army,” She started to say only half aware that she didn't owe him an explanation at all, “It's complicated...”

“Yeah it's complicated cause you still want this dick,” He ran his hands over the bulge in his pants, took her hand and put it where his had just been, then he let her go.

Julie backed up, but she didn't say a word.

“Yeah, that's what I thought,” Mac took a cigarette out from behind his ear and placed it between his lips without lighting it, “Maybe I really wanted to marry ya, ever think of that?”

And then he was gone.

Julie followed him out of the bathroom in a rage now and grabbed his shoulder, spun him around, and jumped into it with him just like he knew she would, that's why he didn't light the cigarette. Fighting with her had been one of the things in their relationship that was present from the jump, he could predict what she would do. Even if she didn't want to admit it, he knew her.

He knew how to push her buttons and It had been almost a way of courtship between them at one time, something they were used to. He had baited her to this, he wanted her mad and slapping at him. This glow that Izzy spoke of still eluded him though, she was mad, sure, the tension was coming off of her in waves.

They had been kids together, scrapping at every turn as well, this was how it always was, it was familiar and he expected it. He knew what would happen. As they got older it ended up being a prelude to other things, so he baited her on purpose, a negative reaction was better than no reaction at all.

This wouldn't be the first time he had started a fight with her purely with the intention of getting laid. It ended up that way many times in the past with them.

Julie wasn't having it though.

“You touch me again and I'll cut your fingers off!” She spat out.

“Don't pretend you didn't like it, a few more seconds and I could have had you right there in the bathroom...” He yelled back, not caring who heard it, “And not for the first time either!”

“She cries alone at night too often he smokes and drinks and don't come home at all ooh,  
Only women bleed only women bleed only women bleed only women bleed.  
Only women bleed only women bleed only women bleed.  
Man got his woman to take his seed he got the power oh she got the need.  
She spends her life through pleasing up her man she feeds him dinner or anything she can.  
She cries alone at night too often he smokes and drinks and don't come home at all.  
Only women bleed only women bleed only women bleed.”

Her hand was up before she knew it and she cracked it against his face, it stung him but he just smiled, he was not averse to violent foreplay. She always gave as good as she got and Mac liked when she was like this, it made his cock throb. Mac liked feisty women most of all, and Julie was as feisty as they came. Part of him wondered if she was like this with Jack, he doubted it, white-hot fire like this was a once in a lifetime thing, even he knew that.

Across the bar, Devon sidled up to Walter who was watching from a distance but ready to jump in if needed, “Oh look, they're back to making love again.”

Walter didn't answer Devon he just watched Mac grab Julie by the shoulders and pick her up off the ground and she tried to kick him in the junk. She missed and got him in the thigh so he had no choice but to let her loose. Walter shook his head and laughed softly.

“She always was a scrapper,” Walter said with another laugh as Regina came around the corner and stopped short at the ruckus they were causing. She got there just in time to see Julie kick Mac's leg and she laughed out loud, although neither of them heard her. It was as if no one else was in the room now.

“Oh, you fucking bitch!” Mac yelled as he pushed her back towards the door that led into a private courtyard where people could eat outside in warm weather, he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her outside. There was no one else out there and he slammed the door shut.

Julie was still trying to get away from him when Mac slammed her against the wall and held her there as she kicked out at him. He pushed his body against her so she was trapped between him and the wall, and by doing that he could touch her with one hand. His body was so hard against her, and she let out the softest of sighs.

“Knock it off!” He slid his hand up over her breast and left it there, “I'm done with you fighting me.” He brought his lips to her neck and licked down to her collarbone.

“Stop it!” She yelled and squirmed to get away, “You're such a creep.”

“You never minded this before,” Then his lips were on hers and he was pushing her lips apart with his and sliding his tongue into her mouth. For a minute she yielded to him and kissed him back, entwining her tongue with his and completely giving herself over to him.

Mac pressed against her more, she was trapped between his hard body and the wall, another soft moan escaped her lips and her hands went down to his ass and pulled him closer still.

The fire between them was still lit and burning bright but all too soon she remembered where she was and with who, “Get off me! Oh, fuck!”

“You're making my dick ache Jules with all this dirty talk.” He brought his mouth back to her neck and sucked hard, leaving a dark purple make there. She pulled at his hair trying to get him off of her neck before he broke the skin, and she could feel his teeth. “I think you fucking like it anyway,” He moaned against her skin, as he nipped at her neck, she loosened her grip on his hair, “Don't stop baby...you know I like it rough.”

Her stomach dropped as that old feeling came back, she wanted to be in his arms again, there was nothing quite like it, and she was weightless as he picked her up in one swoop. The flat shoes she was wearing tumbled to the ground with a clatter as her back hit the bricks and she was pinned by his massive form. Her legs wrapped around his waist and he pulled her close against him, holding her by her thighs up against the wall. His mouth was on hers again as Julie wound her hands deeper into his hair as he delivered another scorching kiss to her delicious lips.

“Black eyes all of the time don't spend a dime clean up this grime,  
And you there down on your knees begging me please come watch me bleed.  
Only women bleed only women bleed only women bleed only women bleed.  
Only women bleed only women bleed only women bleed.”

“Mmmmm,” She moaned against his lips and pushed against him, Mac groaned, sunk his teeth into her bottom lip and sucked hard, it was on. She had on thin leggings and she could feel him through them hard as stone. His cock was at attention and she wanted it fucking right now! Mac was all hands and lips on her while he moved his hips against her nice and slow, teasing her with it.

“Fuck me like you hate me, baby,” He growled as his hands went for the buckle on his pants, “Come on, come on.”

It looked like this was his lucky day despite the ring on her finger, Mac brought his hands down on her ass, spread her legs more and pulled her against his dick. Somehow he was going to get her out of those leggings there was no stopping this it had been a long time coming.

“Mmmmm,” He moaned into her ear, then brought his eyes up to hers, “What's Jack got that I don't huh?”

“Nothing...” She panted as his lips went down her neck and bit softly this time, then he soothed the bite with his tongue and Julie almost lost her mind.

“Didn't think so, I think you still like what I got,” He pushed her legs farther apart and moved between them, “I think you been needing it.” She was wound up like a top lately, but he'd fix that, “Don't worry I got the cure right here.”

“I think you tricked me,” She said as his hand snaked up her thigh to her waistband and started to pull her leggings off. Julie didn't stop him as his fingers inched into her leggings and he found her wet and ready. He shoved one finger inside of her then two and swiped his thumb around her clit in circles until she was sobbing with need.

“But you ain't mad are ya?” He leaned in and kissed her again, pulling at the waistband of her leggings, she was so responsive to him just like always, just another second and he'd be right there and all bets would be off. He couldn't wait to bottom out inside of her right from the jump, it had been too long, “Come on now, cum like a good girl,” He purred into her ear and Julie was done.

She came as he held her up in the air against the wall, hard, as promised, he was a man of his word. He eyes fluttered closed and he watched her face relax, his mind was filled with her, she was so beautiful when she came. A few seconds passed and Mac continued pulling at her leggings and getting them down her legs.

“Stop...” She pushed on his chest, breaking the spell and Mac just groaned, he had been seconds away from going balls deep, inside the sweetest pussy he'd ever had! “No, no don't.” This time she really meant for him to stop, she had lost her head for a second but now it was back.

Mac growled low in his chest but he stopped, still wanting her to be willing and complaint, still wanting her to be the girl who lost a game of pool so she could go home with him.

“You are a fuckin cock tease,” He sat her down on her feet with a thud, “As per usual, glad you got off though, you're welcome.”

“And you're a fucking rapist, congratulations Mac, a new low for you...” She answered as she pulled her leggings back up and straightened herself up.

“It ain't rape till I'm inside you,” He leered as she made a face of disgust, “Which I will be...”

“As always your definition of things is fucked up, you learn that in prison Mac?” She went for the door, “Good looking guy like you. I bet you were real popular.”

“When did you become such a cunt Julie,” He pushed the door shut again, preventing her from leaving.

“When l got left in this shit town with a baby all alone after you practically begged me to believe in you.”

He didn't have anything to say to that, it was what kept him up at night all those years, and even now. He had let her down. Deep down inside he knew that. There were a lot of truths buried deep inside of him that he knew about himself. Equally, she had some too, they were both just human after all.

“Look I don't know what to do anymore, or what you want; what if I'm in love with you?” He yelled back because goddammit, that's why. Then he saw her features change and she was furious, now he would tell her this, now?

“I have always been in love with you,” She screamed, “And it has never made me happy!” She raged and in shock, Mac let go of the door allowing her to go in peace. He hadn't expected honesty like this.

That was one for Julie, zero for Mac, but he didn't care about the odds or the score, he had been through worse and he could go the distance. There was more than one way to get what he wanted if making her jealous didn't start working he'd move to plan B, with Mac there was always a plan B.

"I was all alone too! You weren't the only one suffering Julie!" Mac roared after her, "Only difference is I suffered alone!"

//////  
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.


	15. 17

“Some folks love to see red some folks never talk about it.  
Some folks crave a blue lady some folks know and still, they doubt it.  
I'm just no good without it I'm not a man at all it makes my skin crawl.  
Baby baby come on and save me save me my my baby baby come on and save me now.”

Some Folks by Alice Cooper

Regina sat down next to Julie at a table out in front of the bar when she came in for her shift later that week. It was sunny out and the afternoon was one of those rare times when no one was around and they could talk. Usually, Devon was around or Mac, but today it was just them and it was time for some much needed girl talk. Regina was close with her now, when Michael was born and Mac went to jail, his family came through for Julie. Now they were all pissed at him for the way he was acting.

The only one on his side was Izzy, who casually kept mentioning to Julie to follow her heart. She wasn't pressuring her niece exactly, just reminding her that sometimes things weren't what they seemed. That was always a saying of Izzy's, from the time that Julie was little. Izzy had a gypsy soul and she accepted people just the way that they were. “Follow your heart, Julie,” She would say< “It knows what you need.”

She had raised Julie with these free spirit beliefs but Julie couldn't embrace them completely. Her heart was not to be trusted in her opinion, and she was sure she should do the opposite of following it. Following her heart to this man was asking for trouble, the week before she had almost fucked him in the alley behind the bar. Now, he was showing up with other women again, throwing money around and making sure she saw it. He even had the nerve to ask her for her old college roommates phone number. Shelly would fuck him in a New York minute and they both knew it, needless to say, Julie didn't give him her number.

“My brother is a huge asshole again,” Regina said to Julie, “All that change got flushed right down the toilet didn't it?”

Julie nodded, “What did you expect Gina?”

“I don't know what I thought he would be like now,” She said with a shake of her head, “ Dad's mad,” Regina said solemnly. 

“Why?” Julie asked.

“Mac said he's going to sue you for custody if you get married.” She answered, “He's afraid you'll take Michael away.”

That had been what Jack wanted to do, to take them with him to travel the world, but she had been dragging her feet over that for a long time; they weren't going anywhere. 

Julie started laughing a laugh that Gina hadn't heard since Mac blew back into town. He was out of his mind, they would take one look at him and laugh him out of court.

“I'm glad you're taking this so well.” Gina laughed along with her.

“He's out of his mind,” She laughed again.

“Well, of course, he is,” Gina said, “You're involved.”

“Can I have a cigarette?” Julie held out her hand and Regina gave her one and her lighter. They sat together smoking and watching the sun go down before the bar filled up with the locals and the dregs of society that were passing through that night. Night time was when the rougher crowd came along but Walter was always there to make sure the place didn't get out of hand. The early afternoon was the best time, it was slower after the lunch rush and they could actually talk about things.

“Can I ask you something, Julie?” Gina said finally.

“Sure,” Julie lit another cigarette and took a long drag. This sounded like a two cigarette question.

“Will you tell me the absolute truth?”

“...yes.” Julie hesitated but agreed.

Regina hesitated, she didn't want to make Julie mad, but this was a question she needed an answer to. She had heard Julie yell at Mac the other day. Hell, the whole town heard it. They loved each other, it was obvious to anyone that saw them together. How was she still with Jack?

“Do you love Jack, I mean really love him?” Regina hesitated and then just decided to go for it.

Julie thought about that question, what was love anyway, a road to pain as far as she was concerned. In the end, it was always her, alone and miserable if she was with Mac. At least with Jack, she knew he would never act like a dick just because he didn't know what else to do. Jack was stable.

Mac was unstable and a drug addict, not a good risk, but she had lost her head and told Mac she loved him, she didn't want to. It was never going to work for them, sometimes love wasn't enough.

“Gina what Mac and I had was,” She answered, “It was two people trying to make a relationship over an accidental pregnancy that's all.”

That was a big lie and they both knew it.

“I don't remember it that way...” Gina answered, “He was a better man when he was with you.”

Julie nodded, “Yes...”

“If it was different you'd be with him now, not Jack,” Gina said cautiously and she knew it was true, so did Julie. Julie gave a slight nod to her head.

“But I can't keep him in line, it's not my job G, Michael is my job.” Julie, replied, “I don't have the time or the energy to get into it with him again, I just don't.”

“Can you spend the rest of your life without passion though, without fire in your life, isn't that what makes life worth living.” She asked, “I mean I saw the way you two were the other day, we all heard you...” Regina said with a blush, the back wall of the alley was wood, there was no way to mistake what was going on out there.

“Yeah but the thing about fire is it burns too,” She flicked the ash off her cigarette and took another drag, “Fire is overrated, and chemistry doesn't pay the bills.”

“So, no fire with Jack?”

“Jack is a good man and he loves Michael and me...”

She turned to see that Mac had just pulled up, he made no effort to avoid her gaze. As he got out of his truck, he walked past, sneering at both of them he went inside the bar to plant himself for the night as usual. He was not taking no for an answer and he was definitely not a good man.

"You belong to me, you hear me, Julie.” And she just rolled her eyes, “You're mine Julie, you understand? You are mine." He yelled across the parking lot as if anyone didn't already know he had re-staked his claim on her, “And don't you forget it!”

Regina just flicked her cigarette and shook her head, her brother gave fuck all about what people thought, that much was clear. He ripped open the door and was about to walk inside when he heard her yell back.

“Why don't you go tell that to one of your whores!” She yelled back, he got under her skin like no one else could.

“Jealous much?” He returned as he went inside, and the sad thing was, she was.

“Some folks love to feel pain some folks wake up every morning.  
Some folks live for no reason some folks die without a warning.  
I'm just no good without it I'm not a man at all it makes my skin crawl.”

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

"You've changed," Gina said to Mac later that day as she served him drinks at what had now become 'his table', “You used to be halfway human and you used to care about things, what happened?"

"Yeah I did, I cared a fucking lot. That woman is what happened to me, your friend, your friend fucked me up real good sister," Mac raged back, "I lost my family, I lost everything."

“You went to jail because you broke the law,” Regina reminded.

“Yeah, all because of a busted tail light,” Mac hissed, “Ten more minutes and I would have been home free, ten more minutes! But nope that's not how my shit goes.”

“Listen, did you forget who you're talking to? I know you, and furthermore, you are a convicted felon and that is the fact. Did you forget that too ?” Gina answered, “Why should she trust you again? Tell me why?”

He turned and glared at his sister and if looks could kill. He was wallowing in self pity, he knew that everyone had told him so. But that was the way of the addict, it was never their fault and everyone else had the problem. Until he was ready to admit that he was a lost cause.

“She loves you,” Gina said suddenly and motioned over to Julie who was behind the bar pouring drinks for a couple of regulars, “I know she does, somehow you two have to work this out.”

“She's sure got a shit way of showing it.” 

Regina snatched the drink from his hand, she had heard enough.

“What the fuck are you doing!”

“ You are now flagged, it's time you showed her you can change, starting with this,” She turned to leave, then turned back, “Oh, and lay off the crank too and maybe things will go your way for a change.”

“Fuckin doubt it,” Mac huffed back at her.

“Give it a try brother, what do you have to lose, to hear you tell it you already lost everything.”

“I love her crazy I think, Regina; doesn't mean we can be together though.”

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Baby baby come on and save me save me my my baby baby come on and save me save me  
My my baby come on and save me now.”

Julie waited in her car outside the school for Michael to come out and she smiled when she saw his little head bobbing through the crowd of kids. In his hand, he had a picture that he was obviously very proud of. Sometimes before Mac came back Walter would pick him up and just take him to the bar. The afternoons were dead and they didn't even start serving alcohol until after seven at night. The lunch crowd wasn't rough at all, and Walter and Michael would play in his office, color or read.

Now Julie was picking him up every day and taking him home to Izzy, where they would do his homework before Julie went to work. It was an arrangement that was working for now but couldn't be forever. She always intended to finish school, but that hadn't been in the cards for her. Time with her son was more important now, she had been both mother and father to him for five years. Maybe when he was older she could go back to school, it was a nice dream to think of. 

“Hey kiddo,” She got out of the car and helped him into his booster seat in the back of her jeep, “What's this?” She asked as he handed her the picture he had drawn of three stick figures, two larger ones both holding either hand of a smaller figure.

“It's you, me and Mac, I mean...”

“It's ok to call him Daddy,” She kissed his cheek as she fastened him into the car seat in the back, “You call him that if you want to.”

Lately, Mac had been looking better, like he was eating some and not staying up all night doing crystal or whatever it was he was into at the moment. Julie was watching that closely for just this reason.

“I do,” He answered as she got into the front seat.

“Then you should.” She said as they pulled away. 

“Mommy,” Michael called from the back seat.

“Yeah boo,”

“Do you think he can come for dinner sometime?” And Julie smiled at her sweet boy. He didn't know the mixed up situation between his parents, all he knew was his father was back in town and he wanted to be with him.

“Sure...” She answered, what else could she say really. They drove in silence for a few miles and, then she pulled over on the side of the road and got out of the car, “I'll just be a minute boo.”

As she leaned against the car and dialed the number, she felt good about this. She wasn't letting her feelings cloud what she knew was the right thing to do. But she was also being smart about it, with Mac you had to be smart about things.

When he answered she swallowed her pride and everything else down for her son, “Hey, what are you doing?”

"Hey,” Mac laughed as he lit a cigarette, “You change your mind about that ride on the Mac Garcia Scream machine...?"

"No,” She laughed, “That's not why I'm calling. Are you high right now, tell me the truth?"

"Does it sound like it?” He answered and she could tell he was sober, for the moment.

"Be ready in fifteen minutes you're coming to dinner with Michael and me.”

"Are you high?" Mac laughed, this phone call was not what he expected, especially after the scene in the alley behind the bar. Julie had barely talked to him after that.

“See you in fifteen minutes.”

Mac had showered and changed by the time they arrived and was sitting on the steps of his house. He stood when they pulled up, walked over, gave a pleasant greeting to Julie as if they hadn't been at each other's throats for weeks and got in the car. It was clear that Michael was happy to see him and Mac was happy to see him too. 

He didn't even insist she let him drive the way he would have before, change was slow, but it was happening. Ordinarily, they would have argued and he would have just demanded her keys and not moved until he got his way.

It was a forty-minute drive to the nearest larger town and they stopped at Mc Donald's and sat outside at a table for three for two hours. That was where Julie learned that the reason Michael dipped his fries in chocolate shakes since he was little was because Mac did the same thing.

So gross. But what wasn't gross was watching the two of them, they were so alike, had the same smile and mannerisms, and Julie knew she had done the right thing.

Things weren't perfect but it was a start, from that night on they all went to McDonald's every Tuesday night together as a family. Mac was not high during those times and they actually enjoyed each other's company. Maybe after this was all said and done they could be friends, she told him straight up nothing further was happening and he'd accepted that.

That was ok with him, for now, because sometimes, on Tuesday nights, when they were eating cheeseburgers together with their son as the sun went down, Mac would look at her in the dying light of the day and he could swear she glowed.

“Baby baby come on and save me save me my my baby baby come on and save me save me  
My my baby come on and save me now.”


	16. 18- Almost Normal

Ch 18- Almost Normal

“Sometimes when you're asleep and  
I'm just starin' at the ceiling.  
I wanna reach out and touch you  
but you just go on dreamin'.  
If I could take you to heaven,  
that would make my day complete.  
You and me ain't movie stars,  
what we are is what we are.  
And I tell you, babe  
well, that's enough for me.

You and Me by Alice Cooper

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

The more time they spent together the easier it was for her to see his point of view; Mac had been all alone all those years, she had rejected him when he was at his lowest point; maybe she needed to meet him halfway. Maybe he just needed some kind words from her, and that was why she did it that first time and invited him to eat with her and Michael, now they were at an impasse again. He wanted more time with Michael and Michael wanted more time with him.

For a few months, they had been rolling along fine and spending time together the three of them once a week. Julie was waiting for the other shoe to drop, Mac was a perfect gentleman with her always, as if he had learned something, but she wondered if he would snap again. Or more accurately, when he would snap again, history showed that eventually, he would.

For the time being Julie decided to just go with the flow and keep her fingers crossed, Michael was happy, and that was the most crucial thing for her. It had been important to allow him to be with his father, albeit highly supervised. Both of them were so happy when they were together and once or twice Mac had thanked her for being his family again.

A few times they drove into Salt Lake or another bigger town to take Michael to the movies. Life was good, it was uneventful. There wasn't any fighting obviously when the three of them were together and one day, there wasn't any fighting at all. It was almost... normal.

Mac had settled down a bit, and for a while, he was scarce around the bar, Julie wasn't keeping Michael from him and he didn't bother her. The word on the street was he was working in the caves, which hurt her heart, she wished he'd go back to driving the fruit truck or something. 

But one night around Christmas time he showed up, freshly showered and in clean clothes, not high. He and Julie had civil conversation, he bought her a martini and drank a few beers. Mac stayed almost the entire night without egging her on to a fight or saying anything risque, a personal best for him. He also rebuffed any other woman that came near him which was unusual as well.

His words rang through her ears that night as they talked calmly like adults, like friends now, forgotten was what he had said about her leaving him all alone. It was true Julie had left him alone to rot in jail. It was all because of anger, she was so angry with him for getting arrested. She cut ties to protect Michael, yes, but also for revenge? There were things about herself that Julie didn't like, she wasn't so narcissistic that she couldn't see that.

But no one was angry now it seemed.

Mac was a narcissist and histrionic in the past, he used sex or violence to get what he wanted in life. He still broke the law on the regular, but she didn't always treat him well in the past. More than anything she just wanted to see him clean for Michael's sake. The past was over and it didn't seem like he was prone to outbursts as much or was planning to carry her off somewhere and tie her up.

There was a long history of how badly they treated each other, both of them had made mistakes and no one was perfect. She had abandoned him when he probably needed her most. There was so much they were both sorry for it seemed. As the night wore down Mac came and sat at the bar to talk with her as she served customers and one by one the people began to leave. 

During a particularly slow period towards the end of the night, Julie had been telling him about Michaels upcoming Christmas concert and Mac made some crack about tying mistletoe to his belt buckle and Julie actually laughed. While he had been telling her that Julie watched him reach into the bin of cherries for drinks, take one out and put it in his mouth.

Maybe he was high after all, she thought to herself, or coming down, and needed the sugar rush. After a few minutes, he pulled the cherry stem out of his mouth and winked at her; it was tied in a knot.

“Here ya go,” He handed it to her.

“That's some parlor trick you got there.” Julie raised her eyebrows as she looked at the tied stem, then quickly threw it away.

“You know it...” He leaned closer and grinned, “Jerry over at Eternal Ink said if I ever got my tongue pierced I wouldn't be able to do that anymore.”

Julie just rolled her eyes, there was no harm in this conversation, she thought to herself, normally she would have shut it right down, but Mac had been hanging around that night not being a douche and it made her...happy. 

He'd had a few drinks by now and so had she, they were both a little silly, Julie was smiling at him sometimes too while he flirted with her, the trap was set. Everyone kept telling him to be patient and he had been but that was done now. He had waited long enough, it was time to take matters into his own hands.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

After he sent Regina home that night, made sure Devon was out in the canyon and Walter was long gone, Mac called Izzy to make sure she and Michael were OK and then he set his plan in motion. This woman was a fuck ton of work, he hoped it would end up being worth it in the end.

This was wrong and he didn't fucking care, it was enough already, he could only be good for so long. Julie was watching him for months with no complaints and he could see she was on edge, but soon she'd be fine as silk. He'd made an excuse to still be there at closing and they had been talking, nice this time. Mac had questions about Michael, and she answered them all, showed him his recent school pictures from her wallet and gave him one to carry around.

It was a good night until Mac turned from the jukebox after picking some songs and looked at her, “Oh, they're playing our song.” He watched her features soften at the memory of them dancing on Izzy's porch all those years ago. Those had been good times for them, hopeful times, memories that now just made them both so sad. It had almost happened for them. The familiar words to “You and Me” came on and Julie frowned, the night had been going so well.

“Why did you put on that song?” She asked, “Are you that hell bent on making me miserable?”

“Dance with me...” Mac said softly.

“I don't think so...”

“Please Jules,” He held out his hand, “I won't tell Jack.” He said with half a snicker and locked his eyes on hers, “Please, just one dance?”

Julie took a long sip of her soda and set it down on the bar, “One dance, then I'm out of here.”

“That's all I'm asking for.” Mac replied, and then added with a grin, “I mean we could play pool if ya want.”

He winked at her and nodded towards the billiard table where he had once gone down on her after a game of pool years ago.

“No thank you,” Julie said as she stood up and stumbled a bit.

“As you wish...” He answered and took her by the hand to the dance floor and pulled her close to him, too close for her but for once she didn't feel like objecting.

“Fuck, it's hot in here," Julie pulled at her shirt as they moved around the dance floor and Mac watched the sweat dripping down her collarbone, he wanted the lick every drop of sweat off of every part of her body; he had been dreaming of it for weeks. Mac smiled at the thought about how many times in prison he jerked off thinking about her, now she was here for him to take. He was tired of waiting, tonight was going to be the night.

Some men got turned off after a woman became a mother but for him, it was an aphrodisiac; he wanted her so much more after Michael was born and now. She was the mother of his child, that made her so much more attractive to him, and she was going to be his again, come hell or high water, fuck Jack Kaufman.

He watched as she struggled with her shirt, his plan was working, it was a dirty trick, but he wasn't above it. She hadn't even noticed the pills he slipped into her drink.

"Have some water," He said helping her to pull her shirt over her head, letting it drop on the floor and handing her a water bottle. She only had on her skirt and her old Doc Marten boots now and he loved the view. This was worth the wait almost.

Mac was well aware that they both had to drink a shit ton of water or their brains would literally fry in their heads from this drug. Dumb ass people were dying all the time on X because they forgot about that fact, dehydration was a real threat. But the high was unbelievable, you felt like you ruled the world and all you wanted to do was talk and fuck.

"Water, water, water," She drank, moaning at how wet and cool it was. Some of it slipped over her lips and down her chin between her breasts. It was all he could do not to jump her right there, he settled for just licking his lips. Mac's dick started to twitch at the sounds she was making, he hadn't even touched her and she sounded like she was getting it good.

His own brain was getting cloudy with thoughts of getting her out of her clothes as soon as possible and then he saw it in her face; recognition. "Did you dose me?"

Mac grinned and nodded, "I took it too, don't worry. "

"What did you give me?" She screamed half-heartedly because she was already stoned and feeling fine.

He pulled his own shirt off and dropped it on the floor, "Just a little X," Mac drank his water and gazed at her, "You and I haven't had fun together in a long time."

For a moment she looked angry, but she couldn't quite get there because she was high as a fucking kite already.

"It has been a long time hasn't it," Julie sighed clearly affected by the drug now.

He slipped his hands down both her arms, “I know you want this, you still feel it...”

Julie didn't answer, but she didn't disagree and she didn't say no.

"Hope you ate a good dinner baby..." He said, "Cause we're gonna fuck all night long."

Julie wanted to be mad but it was impossible. The euphoric effect of the drug made her desire him once again and she was in his arms now. He backed her up into the pool table, and put his hands on either side of her, trapping her. This time she didn't want to be free, his instincts had been right, she did want him, she just needed a push, a chemical push, that was true, but just a little.

No one ever said Mac Garcia wasn't pushy anyway, he was the epitome of pushy, physically and now, chemically.

"Remember the last time ..." He said as he brought his face to her neck, his lips touched her skin and he breathed her scent in deeply. He let his nose move along her collarbone as he inhaled, he already decided to cum inside of her, he wanted to get her pregnant again.

Julie just giggled as he came closer and ran his teeth over her neck and chest. He picked her up and sat her on the pool table, placed his hands on her bare knees, looking right into her eyes and spread her legs.

“Back up on the pool table with your legs spread for me huh, Jules,” He breathed into her ear, “This time you won't have to scratch to get my dick inside ya.”

“Still charming as ever I see.” She answered and pushed her lips into his, she kissed him and Mac's eye went wide, he should have done this months ago.

“ Still a smart ass I see,” He laughed, “It's ok, I kinda like it now.”

He brought his lips to her neck and she leaned into him in surrender, he smiled against her skin, this was the best part, he loved her surrender. He loved the way her body just yielded to him like he was something special.

“I’m getting married I can't do this...” She said suddenly but without much force, it was hard to fight when you were stoned. Mac lay three sweet kisses on her neck and she sighed, there was no way she would say no to him now, she wanted him too much and for too long.

Mac just continued until his hands were on her breasts and he made sure his lips remained on her neck, right where she liked it, he bit softly, just enough, “Come on Jules don't be a buzzkill.”

Nirvana was on the jukebox now, one of his personal favorites. People always thought he liked that shit-kicking country music or classic rock, but they were wrong, Mac was all about the grunge.

“Would you believe me when I tell you.  
You're the queen of my heart.  
Please don't deceive me when I hurt you,  
Just ain't the way it seems,  
Can you feel my love buzz?  
Can you feel my love buzz?  
Can you feel my love buzz?  
Can you feel my love buzz?”

Mac pulled her against him once more, he was all in her space and making her heart pound like he always did, there was something about him that she could never resist and now her defenses were way down. Julie didn't move and he looked her dead in the eye, his deep blue eyes were so beautiful to her still. She had struggled to forget those eyes, for such a long time.

For years Julie had dreams about him sometimes, spent many nights tossing and turning over his eyes and everything else about him, even as Jack had slept right next to her. Now she couldn’t look away from them, or from him. He was all she could think of now, Mac was all she wanted for the rest of her days.

The kiss was soft at first but then he felt her respond and that was all the encouragement he needed. He pushed her lips apart with his and gave her the dirtiest kiss that she had ever had. He filled her mouth up with his tongue and moaned against her lips, Julie felt her knees buckle and somehow she knew at that moment that she would never kiss anyone else ever again.

Then their hands were all over each other in a frenzy and he was pushing her down on the pool table. She went willingly, bringing her hands up to his hair and gripping it hard, Mac liked when she pulled his hair, she had remembered that from before. Groaning, he kissed her like she was the last drink of water on a 100-degree day and he was dying of thirst, devouring her mouth with his.

Mac had been dying for a long time; he was starved for her, and she for him, even though she had tried to deny it and make a life with someone else. Now, even with pharmaceutical assistance, it was so clear how badly she wanted him.

“Mac, we can’t do this now, here!” She breathed out in between kisses, but he kept kissing her, plundering her mouth with his tongue, kissing her lips raw. There was no way he was stopping this time, no way in hell.

He wasn’t taking no for an answer, “Yes we can.” He whispered into her ear. “We can do anything we want.”

That made her giggle against his cheek and he kissed her again with even more determination and more tongue, while his hands skimmed under her lacy bra to her bare breasts. He snapped the front clasp of her bra with one hand and pulled it off of her, bringing his hand right back to tease her nipples as his teeth skimmed over her earlobe.

His kisses lit a fire deep inside of her that she thought was snuffed out forever, but with each touch, it burned brighter. With Mac's hands all over her, it was ignited like wildfire, out of control as his hands roamed over her body. She was his and she always had been.

“Just say yes baby.” Mac groaned against the skin of her neck and she nodded relinquishing all the power to him. His hot, wet mouth traveled down her neck, leaving a wet trail that he blew hot air on. Julie was unbuckling his pants before she knew what she was doing in a total fever of need that she never had with anyone else. He wrapped his arms around her thighs and picked her up, walking a few feet until he was holding her against the door so he could get closer still to her, skin to skin, he needed it like air.

Her nails raked down his back as her hands traveled over his hard body, causing chills to erupt all over his skin, he couldn't wait another second to be inside of her. She was finally in his arms where she belonged. His dick was throbbing like a motherfucker and he had to have her before his body exploded from need.

Julie was dizzy with feeling and emotion as she felt him hiking her skirt up, pulling her panties off; she made no effort to stop him and then he was inside her. “Oh fuck yes!” he groaned as he gripped her legs, she was so warm and wet around him, so tight, he could tell it had been a long time since she'd had sex and he smiled to himself. 

He fit her perfectly, stretching her until it burned so good with his perfect cock. There was no going back and gripping each other tightly they both let out a moan of total mind numbing bliss. He could feel her boots against his ass and it spurred him on to fuck her harder; his jeans weren’t even halfway down his legs, she still had her skirt on and they did not give a fuck. This was going to be life changing, it was going to cause a whole bunch of trouble but it was so worth the shit storm it was going to start.

“Oh God, I missed you so much.” He moaned against her neck, and she felt his teeth as he bit her flesh softly and she arched into him more. His grip on her thighs was sure to leave a bruise, she missed the marks he put on her, her body never felt so alive than when he had his hands on her.

“Mmmmmmmmmm.” Was all she could manage as she felt his hips rolling against hers in that sweet rhythm that was always theirs. Mac plunged his hands into her hair and breathed in her scent deeply, her fragrance that was so familiar and welcome to him filled his brain. “I fucking love you.” She breathed out.

“I knew it.” He said pulling her legs up more to get deeper inside her, he needed to be deeper, in a frenzy now, slamming her against the door as it creaked, and he just pushed harder and harder inside of her, “I knew it, I knew it wasn't over for us.”

Julie wrapped her legs around him tighter and he let out a groan as he kissed her again, then his lips were on her neck and sucking hard. The bruise was going to be deep, she gave fuck all at this point; the sensations he was giving her had been long forgotten, needed for desperately for so long, and the marks he was putting on her would be reminders for days every time she looked in the mirror.

“Say you're mine, mine forever.” He breathed against her skin, tasting the salt of her sweat like the sweetest candy, sucking hard again to leave another hickey on her so there was no doubt who she belonged to. Their bodies were skin to skin, slippery with sweat and joined together. Their faces were close, cheek to cheek, and their grip on each other tight as he went at her with five years of pent up lust and rage. There was nothing on this earth better than a hate fuck in Mac's opinion.

“I’m yours.” She breathed out as he pushed against her faster, rocking the door against the hinges so much it sounded like it was going to break. “Forever.”

“Say you love me again.” The old door banging on the hinges sounded like the place was going to fall down around them and they didn’t notice it at all, Mac and Julie were both so lost to each other, nothing else mattered, not even the fact that he had drugged her, “I love you, Jules it's always been you.”

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” She whispered as she brought her lips to his ear. That was the thing, Molly made you say what was in your heart without fear of repercussions, people took it so they could talk. Julie couldn't hold back her words, it all came flooding out like a tidal wave; for the first time in years, she didn't want to and neither did he. They said words of endearment and sexual banter to each other with no fear, like it had been once with them before it all went to shit.

Now, they groped at each other like teenagers, his hands were all over her and everywhere he touched her left a lingering trail to the next spot. The X was coursing through both of them as Julie took hold of his hair and he felt it everywhere; fucking on X was mind blowing. Everything was intense, everything felt ten times as good and amazing, so amazing that you never wanted to stop. Mac could fuck all night long like this and he intended to; before he was done with her she was going to be used up and spent in a heap on the floor.

“Only me.” He gasped out, pulling her hips against his as she yanked his hair and scratched her nails over his skin making him moan out loud, “Oh fuck! That's it, baby. More, hurt me.”

“Only you.” Julie gasped as she gripped his arms almost to the point of drawing blood, trying to wiggle against him, chasing the fire that was consuming her right down to her soul. “Only you.”

“Tell me he never made you feel like this.” He didn’t even care if it wasn’t true, he just needed her to say it; they would figure it all out later.

“Only you make me feel this way.” She gasped.

Mac kissed her hard, reclaiming her and he wasn’t done yet. “Tell me again.” He pulled her close against him, gripped her legs harder, letting his fingers dig into her thighs and rolled his hips against hers, making her eyes roll back in her head.

“Never anyone else but you.” And that was the truth. “Only you make me feel this way, it’s always been you.” She fell back against the wall as she hung onto him for dear life as her entire body started to tingle and overheat, “Oh God, oh God, I'm gonna...”

The feel of his skin on hers and the rest of him was unbearable, she felt the pressure starting to build fast and he knew it was coming. Mac knew her and exactly how her body worked like no one else did. He reached down between them where they were joined and slid his fingers on either side of her clit, nice and slow. Julie was sobbing now, big fat tears were rolling down her face from the emotions of being with him again.

“Now cum, Julie, Cum, cum on me, cum on me.” He demanded. “Cum all over my dick Julie. Cum. On. Me!” He yelled and it echoed off the walls of the silent room

Mac set out to push all her buttons and his words drove her body towards what he wanted and it came upon her. Julie felt it deep in her core and in her soul, spreading through her entire body; he was bringing her where she wanted to be in record speed. His other hand moved over her nipple like he had been doing it forever and then he followed that with his lips all the while still pounding her against the door.

He had something with her, that no one else could ever give him; total mind numbing, screaming, yelling, cursing, passion that spread like a wildfire between them and would never be put out again.

“Do it, fucking do it.” He yelled.

“Fuck, fuck! Oh fuck Yes, Mac!” She moaned as her head banged against the door lightly and her eyes rolled back in her head from his words and body, Mac kept his lips and hands on her as she rode the wave as far as she could. “Fuck me, ohmygod yes.”

Everything went black before her eyes, his fingers moved against her clit as she fell apart in his arms, her body trembled and shook and Mac buried his face in her neck. It was like the tidal wave that was their life together before it all went wrong and she cried out and pulled him close against her. He slammed against her as her body pulled his over the edge right after her.

“Goddammit, oh fuck.” He swore as her pussy squeezed the life out of him and gripped his cock like a vice, screaming, Mac came harder than he had in years. “Goddammit, fuck, fuck, mother fucker, ahhhhhh.”

The stayed that way for a few minutes, trying to catch their breath, holding each other in silence, as aftershocks rippled through both of them, there was nothing else to say. Then he let her down and held her, Julie lay her head on his shoulder and pulled him against her.

“I didn’t say anything to you just now that wasn’t true.” She said and he hugged her tighter.

“I know.” He said. 

“We won't remember tomorrow will we?” She asked.

“I will.”


	17. 19 anb 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two Chapters today :) Let me know what you think :)

Neither of them was fit to drive so they made their way to the back room where Walter kept a bed for drunks to sleep it off if need be. There were more drugs, this time Julie let him rub it on her gums, some more alcohol was consumed, and he woke her up in the middle of the night for two more rounds.

The next morning Julie was horrified to wake up naked in the bed in the back room of the bar. She knew exactly where she was and exactly who was responsible, even if the details were a little fuzzy. She was in Walter's crash pad and thank God she had changed the sheets recently.

She sat straight up and pulled the sheet over her body as she screamed, “Maaaaaaacccccc.” Then he was in the doorway, a beer in his hand with no shirt on and his pants hanging low on his hips with the look of the cat who ate the canary on his face.

“Hey, you don't have to cover up, I've seen ...”

“Don't hey me, what the fuck happened?”

“You don't remember begging me to fuck you.” Mac replied as he took a swig of the beer, “We had a good time last night.”

“You fuckin drugged me,” She screamed, “You haven't changed at all son of a bitch!”

Mac didn't answer right away, he considered how to phrase his next sentence.

“See that's the thing about X tho Jules,” He grinned, “You don't do anything you ain't wanting to do anyway.”

She stood up and he whistled at her, she shot him a dirty look and searched for her clothes.

“This,” She waved her hand, “Doesn't change a thing.”

“Can't really see you marrying that asshole now.” Mac observed, “Three times last night, three times in one night, Juliet. I bet he hasn't fucked you three times in five years! " 

“I'm marrying him, nothing changed.” She put her hands on her hips. “And don’t call him that.”

“Why not, that’s what he is.” He answered, taking another swig of his beer, it was eight am and he was drinking already, if she wasn't so pissed at him Julie would have been concerned, “And you make my head hurt.”

Julie just huffed and continued looking for her clothes until she found them and her boots.

"You're a real jerk off Mac, I'm leaving!"

"No, you ain't." 

“Watch me,” She pulled her shirt over her head and hiked her skirt up, “Where's my underwear?” 

She looked over at him and he shrugged in a way that told her he knew exactly where it was, like his back pocket.

“What are you going to hang it from your rearview mirror?” Julie snapped as she pulled her boots on.

Mac laughed at that idea, “It's ripped up anyway. Why you so dead set on marrying that jerk, he ain't you.” He tossed her a bottle of water and she opened it and drank some. He had made sure she drank enough water the whole night.

“How do you know! You haven’t seen me for years.” Julie hissed back at him.

“I know you.” He pointed to his chest. “I know you, not him!”

“You don’t know me.” Julie replied, “You've been gone too long.”

“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.” He said locking his eyes onto her, his gaze burned and she looked away, “No one knows you like I do.”

Julie sighed, and blew a loose strand of her hair out of her face, he was getting to her. Absentmindedly she pushed a strand of hair behind her ear; Mac watched her intently, that had been one of the cutest of her gestures and he wondered if he ever told her how sweet he thought it was. 

“You’re an ass.” She snapped.

“Same to you.” 

She took another gulp of water and he came closer to her.

“What are you doing,” She said as he reached for her and pulled her close to him, trapping her with his hand at her back and burying his face in her neck, “Stop it.”

“He doesn't know how to take care of you, he doesn't know you.” He said, working his way up to her ear slowly with his tongue, leaving a nice wet trail that he blew hot air on. She shivered as he dipped his tongue into her ear, “He know you’re a country girl, learned to drive a stick in that pickup truck out there?” 

“No.” She replied calmly, trying to convince him or herself, it was all so unclear now to her suddenly. Her mind was awash with memories, the drugs and the feeling of him, of his strong arms around her once more. She realized that she missed that feeling and wanted it back desperately, then she forced the thought away again.

“That’s not me. Not for a long time.” She said flatly.

“It’s who you are, it doesn’t go away.” He answered quickly.

“I made it go away, Mac.”

“He know what we used to do in that truck, huh, in this place?” He murmured. “He know about all the plans we made?”

Julie was silent, he wasn't going to stop calling her out on this bull shit and she supposed that was one of the things she loved about him most.

“You love him?” He asked quietly and she didn’t answer, which enraged him. He was fighting for his life here and she wouldn’t speak. “You tell me that you love him, tell me!!!”

She was silent. If love was security and predictability, then yes, she loved Jack. But she knew it wasn’t, somewhere back in her memories, she knew what love was, she had it once. Real love? Well, that was the all-consuming can’t live without you passion that she and Mac had, that was love to her. She didn’t have that with Jack and she never would.

There was no way that she could tell Mac that she loved someone else. She was still in love with him.

“Say it! Say that you love him and I’ll leave you alone for good.” Mac bellowed.

She shook her head as tears welled in her eyes, Mac ran his hand through his hair in exasperation. At least they were talking now, it had been a long time coming and no matter what happened, they both needed to get it out.

“Jesus Julie.” He looked over at her. “I didn't get busted on purpose, I never wanted to leave you, I loved you, still do.”

His voice almost cracked as the memories came flooding back to him now, so many mistakes, so much time had gone by. So many things that they should have said long ago to each other.

Could she forgive him? Could he forgive her?

For the first time he had verbalized it, really said how he felt out loud to her and it felt good not to hold in anymore. He felt free like a weight came off of his shoulders, they should have talked this way long ago. It wasn’t his fault and it wasn’t hers; it just happened. She had dipped out, he was right about that, and he had wanted to fight for them. She knew that finally, and he was still fighting for them now.

“You're it.” He said not taking his eyes from her, he thought carefully about his next words. “I’ll never love anyone else, Julie.”

She brought her hand up to her mouth and her eyes grew soft. “Oh my god...” And the tears started, Mac hated when she cried, he always had. Julie was a strong woman and he knew she didn’t cry easily. 

He wanted to hold her in his arms and make the tears and the years apart go away. He wanted to make everything all better for them.

“It's over now, it has to be,” She said quietly as she pulled away from him, “I can't go through this with you again, I'm so scared of what could happen next. Clean up your act and you can see your son, otherwise, don't bother me again.” She stomped out of the room with the weight of the world on her shoulders.

“I'm gonna call Jack,” Mac yelled, “He and I are gonna have a talk and I'm gonna tell him all about last night, three times Jules.” He held up three fingers as she left, “Three fuckin times.”

Ch 20

Jack was furious when he got the text message from Mac and he and Julie had a horrible fight on the phone which ended with him insisting on her mailing her engagement ring back to him. It was over, and part of her was relieved. It wasn't the end of the world, she knew that and it took some pressure off of her that she had been feeling about moving. Now she could stay, but fucking Mac! 

Against her better judgment, she flew out the door after her phone call with Jack and headed to the shack he lived in to give him a piece of her mind. He had planned this she just knew it! Julie didn't even get dressed properly, she had been at home reading when Jack called her and after they had argued on the phone she took off in sweatpants and a t-shirt. She didn't even wear shoes, she was so pissed off.

Mac answered the door with the ever present cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

“You fucking asshole,” She screamed at him before he even fully opened the door and in one swoop he pulled her inside and had her against the wall, “You fucking horrible motherfucker.”

“I told you; you are not marrying him!” Mac said matter of factly as if it had always been decided that way. He was eerily calm and Julie was swatting at his face trying to hit him. He dodged her as if she was a little gnat flying around her face.

“You fixed that didn't you, he didn't even listen to me,” She raged, “Why did you break up my relationship? Why do you insist on fucking up my life at every turn.”

She pushed back at him, but he was so strong, there was no way to get out of his grip.

"You son of a bitch stop just stop!!"

"Blow me," Was all he would say.

"Just tell me why you did it, why are you hell bent on fucking up my life?"

"Because you fucked up mine.” He screamed in her face, “ From the minute I touched you there was no one else I wanted. I followed you to Salt Lake City for Chrissake when you left. I can't get you out of my head. And I've fucking tried, there's not enough crank in the world to do it or enough women. You. Ruined. My. Life!!!"

He met her eyes and stayed there, Julie sucked in a breath, the air was suddenly thick and it was hard to breathe. Her chest was tight as if an elephant was sitting on it, and her heart liked to beat right out of her chest, why him, why was it him? She'd asked herself this very question over and over again.

Mac continued, "You fucked my head up from the jump and now all I can think about of having more babies with you, because,” He pushed her by the shoulders into the wall, and knocked the wind out of her, “Of all the women I have ever been with, you are the one I can't get out of my mind, I don't fuckin like it but its what it is. And you can't get me off yours either so just admit it.”

“You drugged me! You raped me!” She uttered weakly.

“Really?” He pressed his entire body against her from chest to thighs and she groaned at the feel of his hard form against her, “I seduced you, I'll cop to that; but there's a difference, believe me, I know.”

“I bet you do...those are big words there Mac,” Was all she could say, and then his lips were on hers and he was invading her mouth with his tongue and Julie couldn't help but respond to him, she kissed him back. The things he did to her were irresistible and she almost forgot she was spitting mad at him. He snickered at that and started pulling at her t-shirt and she didn't stop him, then his hands were on her breasts.

“You high now?” He brought his mouth to just below her ear, as his hand came over her bare breast, she hadn't even put on a bra before she came over to bitch him out. Julie trembled as she felt his fingers on her skin and her knees buckled, “That's what I thought...You like that doncha?” He hissed and swiped his tongue over the shell of her ear.

“Yes,” She whispered, “Yes...” Who the fuck was she kidding, maybe her mind thought better of it but her body wanted him. All he had to do is look at her sometimes, which was why she had to stay far away from him. He was her drug.

“Say it, baby, who fucks you right?” He pushed against her and continued stroking her nipples and biting her neck enjoying the way she was moaning and pushing back against his dick that was still trapped in his jeans.

“You do,” She breathed out, “You fuck me right, you got what I need.”

“Damn fucking right I do,” He growled and wiped his hand over his already sweat covered face, “Oh Jules you're gonna get it.” He turned her around so she was facing the wall in one quick move.

Her arms were pinned behind her and between their bodies rough as Mac nipped down her neck and sucked hard at the spot she liked, loving the reaction he got, Julie's legs buckled and he had to hoist her back up.

“Easy girl, I got ya,” He smiled against her skin and sucked harder again, “'I'm gonna slide these sweatpants off ya now and fuck you so good,” He slid his hands down to her hips and rolled his pelvis against her, letting her know what he had to offer, “Get ready, here it comes.”

He had been insanely jealous over Jack, so much that he couldn't see straight. The thought of that motherfucker doing this with her or anything made him crazy from the minute he heard about it. He had been like a snarling dog wanting to kill him just for looking at her. That man had to go, one way or the other and Mac didn't care which way; now he was history, mission accomplished, all was right with the world again.

He just had to keep her with him alone long enough to get her addicted to him again. Julie had been addicted to his cock before and she would be again. 

Mac had plans for her which included forcing her to call him Daddy, an epic spanking that was going to leave his hand sore, and sex so hot that it was going to make them spontaneously combust.

“Do it, baby, fuck me good...” She egged him on, the more she talked the better it was just like he knew how to push her buttons, she knew how to push his, “Please Mac, I need that cock! I need it so bad!”

“This is some sexy outfit,” He groaned, pushing against her, he loved the way she babbled all the dirty shit when they were together like this.

Mac reached down and pulled her sweatpants down and yanked her panties off, tossing them over his shoulder then plunged two fingers into her already wet pussy.

“Fuckin soaked for me already... that's my dirty girl.” Mac moaned as he unbuckled his pants and shucked them down.

“Only for you, only for you,” She cried as he turned her around and pushed them both down onto the floor.

“Wrap your legs around me, baby!” He instructed and she obeyed, “That's a good girl, oh fuck! That's my good girl.”

He plunged inside her to the hilt with a grunt that echoed off the house and started fucking her nice and hard. Outside his dog started barking and it was comical to him.

“Oh fuck yes Mac!” She moaned as he pushed in and out of her with a claiming his woman vengeance that she could not deny that she loved, “Oh God! Fuck me, give it to me.”

“I'm gonna,” He growled, “I'm gonna, baby, I'm gonna give it to you so good.”

Mac adjusted her in his arms and reached down between them to stroke her clit. His touch was soft, just right and just what she needed.

“Oh yes baby, make me cum, I need it!” She cried out, “Oh please,” He liked when she begged, “Please Mac! Please!”

“Who's the boss of you?” He moaned and he was so turned on by how wet she was and how responsive she was to him, every time., “Answer my question and I'll let you cum all over me.”

“You are,” She breathed out, already about to explode from his words and actions, “You are!” He was the boss of her, no one made her feel the way that he did, he was her one and only.

“I'm what?” Mac breathed out, “What? Say it!”

“You're the boss of me.”

“Who's pussy is this?”

“Yours, only yours,” She groaned, feeling her body start to tremble, “Oh god Mac, yes!” 

Mac picked up the pace, feeling her walls start to twitch, and he circled her clit with his finger, driving her to the edge of oblivion fast.

He looked down between them and in the soft light of sunset coming through the windows he watched himself going in and out of her and it was a glorious sight.

“Oh fuck baby that's good,” He ran a hand through his hair and kissed her hard, “You're mine, MINE! Don't you ever fuckin forget it! You. Are. My. Whore!”

Smack!! His hand came down on her bare ass, once, twice, three times and she came hard and loud. He was mesmerized by the pink outline of his hand on her skin, dizzy from it! 

“You're going to be the death of me, Julie!” He yelled.

Julie screamed and let it wash right over her as she shuddered in his arms.

Mac felt her body pulling it out of him and he screamed in sweet release as he unloaded every drop inside of her. It seemed to take forever and he was blinded by white hot light behind his eyes, it was so good. Gasping for breath, neither of them moved, it was silent now, birds flew overhead possibly startled by their screams of passion and the dog was going nuts in the yard still.

Mac pressed his forehead to hers and they both smiled, sweat dripped down both of their faces. 

“Mine,” He muttered.

////////////////////////////////////////////////

“We are not together,” Julie said getting up off the floor and collecting her clothes, “You got that?”

“Whatever you gotta tell yourself...” He said as he pulled his pants up, and lit a cigarette “But same as before, you fuck anyone else and I'll kill you. That coward you were with, yeah, he wouldn't even come here and fight it out like a man. What a fuckin douche,” Then he held the cigarette out to her and shook his hair out of his eyes, “Drag?”

Julie yanked the cigarette out of his hand and took a drag as they both leaned against the wall.

“We are never getting back together...”

“I don't give a fuck, have it your way then; you still gonna fuck me sometimes?” He asked as they handed the cigarette back and forth, “Even though we aren't together.” He air quoted that last two words and smirked at her, letting her know he thought this was all ridiculous.

They'd be back in bed together within a few days, chemistry, like they had, would not be stopped.

“Are you gonna act right?"

"Are you?" He countered”

He shrugged and so did she, and they just stood there smoking and not even talking. He had won and they both knew it. Mac always got what he wanted, no matter what he had to do.

“I don't want to love you...” She said in the darkness and Mac turned his head to her.

“Wasn't in my plans either, but it's what it is...”


	18. 20 and End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ******* Ok some of you might really like this ending and some of you are gonna be like WTF Krissy, it's all good! I love you all and wish you the happiest of holidays and blessed New Year.********

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOllF3TgAsM

“You have a son, he's going to be looking up to you,” Izzy had said, and Mac couldn't stop thinking about that now. There would be more time on his hands now that he eliminated the competition. He was done obsessing on how to get Julie away from Jack, that was done with; now he had time for this new, better obsession, “What do you want him to see?”

He was someone's father and he wanted to have the love of his son one day. What did he want Michael to see when he looked at him.

As Mac looked at himself in the mirror he asked himself just that question once Julie was gone. Looking back at him was a fucking criminal and a drug addict, someone not fit to even be a parent and he decided at that moment that he was going to clean up his act, really do it this time. She wanted him to act right, he could try and make some changes, starting with the shit hole he lived in. 

Even if he and Julie weren't meant to be he still had to do right by his kid, he vowed to do the opposite of his father.

Mac began by clearing out all the garbage, old pizza boxes and beer cans out of the entire place, and it had been a disgusting job. Basically, he took a fucking broom and swept all the debris out the front door, bagged it up and threw it in the garage to go to the landfill at a later time.

Somewhere in this dump he knew there were cleaning products and he set to find them next, now he was a man on a mission. When he finally found the stuff he scrubbed the place from top to bottom, it took forever.

For two days he didn't leave the house as he cleaned and contemplated his life thus far. He had done some shit, some shady fucking shit, but he wasn't unredeemable. No one was a lost cause, not even him. It was time to start going to those meetings too.

Drugging Julie had been wrong but it was the only way he could get his point across, she was stubborn as the day was long, and Izzy was right, that was what made her so attractive to him. She would have never let him get the upper hand though so it had to be done, he wasn't sorry he did it, just sorry it had come to that. 

There was no one else for him, he had faced that now and as he watched her drive away in a huff but not quite as angry as he expected; he knew she felt the same. She could scream and yell and stamp her feet as much as she wanted, throw shit around if it made her feel better, but now he knew for sure, she was going to be his again.

It would just take time now, and he had plenty of that, never a patient man, Mac realized he had to do something about that now. It was going to be a waiting game now, and he would have to resist the temptation to get pushier with her. Above all, he wanted to be with Michael as much as possible and to have the chance to break the cycle of abuse that had permeated his life.

When he finally had the place cleaned from top to bottom he sat outside on his porch with a cold beer, lit a cigarette and looked up at the sky. It was full dark now and the stars were bright in the sky, he saw it clearly now like he had never seen it before. There was more he had to do, a lot more, things around the house and things about himself too.

The next day he told Walter he was quitting the family business for good. No two weeks notice, no last minute drop offs, no taking chances and getting busted again; he was out for good as of right now. Then he walked across the street to the garage where he worked sometimes and made a deal with the owner. His next call was to the owner of the fruit truck line he drove for five years ago and by the end of the day, he had a contract for towing and servicing a whole fleet of nationwide trucks.

For only the second time in his life, Mac had a straight job, and now he just had to kick this habit that had him by the balls. He knew it was one habit or the other and she was a habit he couldn't live without. When he walked into the church basement he was uneasy, but some dude who looked like a younger version of Walter offered him a cup of coffee, told him to sit down and shut up and listen to what the speaker had to say. 

On the walls were two long cloth runners that looked like the ten commandments, but there were twelve numbered sentences on them. He read each one and had no idea what any of it meant. It talked about God and moral inventories and he had no clue what fuck all that was.

There were signs hung up, and he read each one of them, Easy Does It, First Things, First, and, Keep It Simple, Stupid; Mac had just gone to his first Narcotics Anonymous meeting.

////////////////////////////////////////////////

It was a Saturday afternoon when the shit hit the fan, Mac had been hanging at the bar that afternoon waiting for Julie to come in for her shift, drinking Iced Tea because suddenly alcohol did not appeal to him at all. They were on better terms lately now that everything was out in the open, but she still would never be alone with him.

He just thought that was funny as hell because she knew damn well what always happened when they were alone. She would come around eventually and until then he would just wait her out. He was learning patience, his sponsor, the Walter look alike told him that he wasn't entitled to anything but the air he was breathing and that hit Mac hard like a brick in the face.

If it was one thing Mac always knew it was that he could have anything he wanted, drugs, alcohol, women, whenever he wanted. Now, the people at the meetings that talked and this guy was telling him that wasn't how life worked. That was how life always worked before, it was shocking, to say the least.

What a fucking reality check. He hadn't been prepared for that, all the pissing and moaning he did about Julie, and how hard and unfair life had been to him and dude just told him to suck it the fuck up. Over shitty coffee, after countless meetings, Mac learned the way to make his life right.

The way to change things was to not do anything, or try and make anything happen, just let it be. He wasn't completely clean yet, but he was fucking trying. In his mind he should have what he wanted for his efforts, again dude told him, you don't always get what you want.

This concept was new to him, but he did as he was told for once because his way really hadn't gotten him too far. He wanted to be with Michael and this was the way to do it. He wanted to be with Julie too, for good this time.

////////////////

The phone at the bar rang around noon and all the color drained from Walter's face as he spoke to the person on the other end. Gina knew it was bad news it just had to be and she sat down at a table with Devon to await the answer.

"That was Julie. She found Izzy on the floor unresponsive this morning. She wants you to go pick up Michael," He said to Regina and Mac's ears perked up, both in worry for Izzy but also at the idea that he was going to see Michael. 

That bump he was about to go do was forgotten about, he put the tin back into his pocket as he turned to Regina; the drugs could wait, he had cut way back anyway.

"You bring him back here G, alright?"Mac said, "I got this."

"Are you sober?" Regina asked with her hands on her hips like a true older sister.

"It's ten am!" Mac snapped.

"I'll ask you again," She countered.

"Yes for God sake, go get my kid already.”

////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Mac sat down next to Michael in Walter's office once Regina had gone and picked him up, she went back to work as Mac assured her he would be fine with Michael. They had a rapport now, but they had never spent any time alone one on one. 

This was a clusterfuck though, Julie had said Michael didn't see Izzy on the floor but knew that Julie had called an ambulance. Mac could only imagine how scared the kid must have been. When he was Michael's age he had found his own mother dead from a heroin overdose, shit like that ruined kids, took away their childhood, this was not happening to his son.

"Hey Mick," Mac said as he sat down next to him at Walter's desk.

"Hey," The little boy answered but didn't stop coloring the pic he was coloring. They sat in awkward silence as Mac had no clue how to interact with the child knowing he was probably scared to death about Izzy. He struggled for something to say to him for comfort but came up empty.

"You like baseball?" Mac asked the boy since he was coloring a baseball picture, and he shook his head, “I didn't think you did?”

"Nope," Micheal answered.

"Why ya coloring it then," Mac asked and the boy shrugged, a trait Mac recognized as his own. The child concentrated on his work and had the same expression on his face Mac would get when he was planning things.

"Motorcross, " And that made Mac smile, they were going to have a lot of fun together as he got older. He intended to be there for his son every step of the way, no matter what.

"What about cars? Trucks?"

The boy nodded his head, and shrugged, just like his old man. Soon it would be time for Mac to teach him how to swap out a motor and rebuild a transmission, he couldn't wait to do all those things with Michael.

Regina, on her way to the ladies room, walked by the office and stopped short when she saw something that she would have never believed a year ago. There at Walter's desk was Mac coloring a picture next to Michael; both of them intent and oblivious of anything around them. She quickly got her phone from her apron pocket and snapped a picture to send to Julie. 

Later that day, after Michael and Regina had gone back to her house for the night, Mac walked out in the back of the bar intent on doing that little bump finally. He had put it off hours ago, to take care of Michael, and now he really didn't want to get high; instead, he just emptied the tin and watched it blow away in the air. Then resolutely, he dropped the old Altoids tin that had been his companion for the greater part of a year into the gravely ground and crushed it under his foot.

“It must be your skin I'm sinking in.  
It must be for real 'cause now I can feel.  
And I didn't mind.  
It's not my kind.  
It's not my time to wonder why.

Everything's gone white.  
Everything's gray.  
Now you're here now you're away.  
I don't want this.  
Remember that.  
I'll never forget where you're at.

Don't let the days go by.

Glycerine  
Glycerine.”

Izzy insisted on dying at home, she refused to stay at the hospital, preferring to be surrounded by her family, her candles, and her crystals. She signed herself out AMA and left the second day when they started talking about more chemo and a stem cell transplant. She was just done.

Julie respected whatever she wanted and took a leave of absence to be with her every day. This was worse than losing her parents, she had been so young then, it was a faded memory, but this was raw, it burned. Izzy had been her reason to stay here after she was gone Julie wondered what she should do. Was this the chance to make a new start far away from here?

The wind chimes blew softly at the window as Julie entered the room, Izzy was at peace now that she was home. Micheal was at school and then he would be with Regina, but she would be bringing him back for dinner, Julie just wanted some time with the only parent she had ever had.

Izzy looked up at her standing in the doorway and saw that Julie looked like she was about to cry.

“Come here sweetheart,” She called to her and Julie went and sat on her bed.

“My sweet girl dont you be sad, I'm not,” Izzy kissed her hand as Julie laid down next to her, “I've lived a wonderful, disreputable life, and I've done it with style.”

“Great style,” Julie beamed at her and snuggled in close with her. She was terrified of how she was going to do this without Izzy but tried so hard to be brave. It had never occurred to her that Izzy would really die one day.

“I'm ready to go, and I don't want you crying over this,”

“I'll try, but no promises,” Julie replied.

“I'm sorry if I was hard on you, I always loved you so much.” She kissed the side of her head three times, “Three kisses for luck. I love you, baby, this is going to be fine.”

“You took me in, Iz, gave me a wonderful home.” Julie said with a crack in her voice, “I love you so much.”

“But I didn't always give you good advice...”

“You always said to follow my heart,” Julie answered.

“I stand by that, you only get one life, there's no excuse to not be deliriously happy.” Izzy squeezed her hand, “Life is too short to settle for less than.”

“Even if your heart wants something that could be bad for it?”

“Especially then...” She said and hugged her close.

“I'm never alone,  
I'm alone all the time.  
Are you at one or do you lie?  
We live in a wheel,  
Where everyone steals.  
But when we rise it's like strawberry fields.

I treated you bad,  
You bruise my face.  
Couldn't love you more,  
You got a beautiful taste.”

///////////////////////////

Ch 22

Mac was dope sick and shaky as he dug through every fucking drawer in his house until he found it. On his cleaning spree a few weeks ago he had come across it and now he couldn't remember where the fuck he put it. He had to find it, he just had to! The withdrawal from everything made him feel like he was going to die, but NA dude assured him, he was probably not going to die.

The guy was a real dick sometimes, but Mac couldn't deny he was glad to be clean right now. There was one person he really wanted to see him clean one more time, and for her to know it was for good this time.

The amethyst crystal that Izzy had put on a leather cord for him when he was sixteen or so was in the kitchen drawer of all things. He was so relieved he had found it, Izzy had been his greatest champion and biggest cheerleader, he needed this. He slipped it around his neck like a talisman, as if it could ward off what was coming.

He was chemical free for almost three weeks and if he didn't pick up over this, then maybe he really had a shot. Julie was at the store when he got there, but Michael let him in and he walked to Izzy's door and knocked. As he opened the door a bit and saw her fragile form in the bed he almost left, he not ready for this at all.

“Mac,” She called to him, as she sat up, “Come in, I was just napping. Please sit.”

He came in the room slowly and she waved for him to hurry up, then he sat down on the bed and she took his hand.

“You were always my favorite,” She said with a wink, “Of all the kids you all ran around this canyon with.”

“Why?”

“Because what's inside of you is good,” She reached out and touched his chest, “You have a good heart, underneath all of that rage and piss and vinegar.”

“Iz?” Mac answered in disbelief, “Are you on Morphine or something?”

“Don't you fight with an old dying lady,” She laughed, and he hugged her tight, “I see right through all your bullshit, I see the real you.”

“I love you Iz,” Mac said as she hugged him tight, “This fuckin sucks.”

“You don't give up on her, she'll come around, you two belong together, I saw it in the cards when you were teenagers.” Izzy said into his ear, “You look great by the way, I'm proud of you.”

“I'm clean for good this time, and I swear to take good care of them for you.”

Izzy squeezed his hand, “I know you will...”

Mac stayed with her for a while talking about old times and the things they used to get into when he and Julie were kids; Izzy was beaming from all the memories by the time he was ready to leave. She confessed to him that she had put a freezing spell on Jack, something with water and the freezer, she didn't go into too much detail, and he laughed at that. 

That was so like her, and he thought maybe she had put some kind of spell on him and Julie and maybe that was why they couldn't stay away from each other no matter how hard they tried. Stranger things happened in this world, he knew that all too well.

Julie had come home and Izzy had been showing signs of fatigue so Mac decided to leave.

“I'm not here to be an asshole, I just wanted to say goodbye to her, I'm gonna go now.” He said to her in the hallway as they stood facing each other.

“It's ok, Mac,” Julie said as they walked through the house and out on the porch, “I know she would want to see you thank you for coming.”

He nodded, “Of course.” He started to walk down the steps and she called to him.

“Mac, do you,” She stopped and then started again, “Do you want to come back later on and take Michael for ice cream tonight? He could use some time away from all this.”

He turned back and looked at her, dumbfounded, “Alone?”

She nodded.

“You trust me?”

She nodded.

“Don't let the days go by,  
Could have been easier on you.  
I couldn't change though I wanted to,  
Should have been easier by three.  
Our old friend fear and you and me.  
Glycerine.  
Glycerine.”

Izzy was laid to rest two months later and she was at peace. It was a cool spring day and the sun was shining brightly as Julie laid daisies on her aunts grave and wiped the tears from her eyes. She was an orphan now and she felt it deep in her soul, she was alone now. There was no time for grief and a pity party though, she wiped the tears away, stood up and set to do what she had to do for herself and her child.

Later on that day Walter opened the bar for a send-off where everyone toasted her and her life with raised glasses of her favorite vodka, Stolichnaya because she was Russian. Julie drank a little too much and did one too many shots so Mac had Michael in the back room most of the night playing cars and talking about building motors. 

“Zazdarovje,” The entire place said as glasses were clinked together, and people who weren't drinking, like Mac, just had Iced Tea. They sent her off the way she had lived, with a big party and surrounded by people that loved her. Then life went on again like it always did.

////////////

A few months later, when things were slowly going back to normal later Mac was sitting on the front steps of his house after work one hot summer night smoking a cigarette when he saw Julie's red jeep coming. He had been busy working on his new job and they hadn't seen each other too much, he left her alone to mourn Izzy the way she needed to, without pressure from him. Usually, he just came and picked up Michael to take him out while Julie tried to catch up at work and applied for online colleges in her spare time. She was finally finishing school, Izzy had left her the house and plenty of money for school.

Mac put his hand up to his forehead to block the sunshine and wondered what was going on, if Michael were hurt or something she would have called. Just a week ago the boy had fallen and needed stitches and she had called Mac right away to come to the hospital with them. He couldn't figure out what was going on with her now.

The top was off her jeep and she was driving so fast red dust was flying out; he knew Michael must not be with her. When they were younger before Michael was in their life she drove like a bat out of hell, he hadn't seen her drive this way for years.

“Don't let the days go by,

Glycerine.

Don't let the days go by.”

He watched her as she parked with a skid and jammed the stick into park, jumped out and walked up the driveway, determined it seemed. She had on shorts, a t=shirt and her ever present Doc Martens on, with her hair flying all around her in the wind; she looked beautiful to him. Behind her was a clear blue sky and something told him as he watched her coming that he should let her say whatever she came there to say.

“I wanted to leave now that she's gone, it's the perfect time, just sell the house, make my profit and bug out of here for good,” She said to him as she walked up the driveway, and to his credit, Mac didn't jump up and fight with her.

She had more to say and for once he shut up and just listened to her.

"I've tried to stay away from you and I can't. " Julie said as she came up the stairs and stood in front of him, “And maybe I don't want to anymore.”

Now it was his turn to talk and he had no flowery words for her, but that wasn't what she wanted anyway.

"We're fucked up," Mac said matter of factly and handed her the cigarette, and she took a drag.

"No,” She laughed, “You are fu... far from perfect."

"Speak for yourself, why dontya?" He laughed and so did she.

“Glycerine  
Glycerine

Glycerine  
Glycerine.”

“This is the last chance I am ever giving you, I have every reason not to trust you at all.” Julie said as she handed him back the cigarette, “It's not just about me, it's about Michael now.”

“I know that...I won't fuck this up,” Mac answered, “Are you here because... it's what she wanted.”

“No, because it's what I want.”

He stood up and took her hand, brought it to his lips, "Good fuckin answer ..."

Epilogue

Four years later

The rain was coming down in buckets as Julie drove the Jeep into the driveway trying to get as close to the house as possible, it had been three days of rain so far. She had avoided going out but she needed groceries, so she ventured out, made quick work of it and got right back home.

The house had been repainted and touched up with tender loving care, but Izzy's windchimes still hung all over the porch. This house was her happy place and she smiled every time she saw it, even in the rain.

Trying not to get soaked to the bone, Julie pulled the baby, Stella out of the car seat and shifted her on her hip, then she got Michael, who was almost ten now and Isabelle who was just learning to walk and opened up the garage door to bring them in that way. 

It was quicker, especially when it was raining so bad and better to avoid a mess of wet feet on the floor. Whenever she went shopping she brought the groceries in through the garage too so the cats didn't get out.

But there was a fucking big problem.

The pile of garbage bags that Mac was supposed to get rid in the garage of was blocking her way to the house; she had asked him all week to clear it out, yet here it still was. It was raining and the kids were cranky, her groceries were in the car, including Ice Cream that was melting in the heat and she did not have time for this shit.

She huffed and ran, with the baby on her hip and Michael and Isabelle each holding hands to the porch steps and to the front door. They were all soaked now.

Once she got the kids inside, changed and settled she grabbed her phone and called him, then went back out into the garage.

“Goddammit, Mac!” She yelled as she began throwing the garbage and recycling boxes from the garage into the driveway. It was going to be soaked by the time he got home and good, FUCK HIM! She piled it in front of his detached garage where he worked on cars for extra cash on the weekends.

“Hey baby,” He said into the phone and lit a cigarette, but she didn't give him a chance to say anything more.

“What the fuck Mac, you were supposed to get rid of the garbage, I just got home from schlepping the kids around all morning in the rain and grocery shopping and I can't get into the house!!”

“That's a nice way to greet me, thanks a lot Jules, I said I'll fucking do it,” Mac yelled back, “I had to finish that mustang, you know to pay the bills...”

“Fuck off,” She hung up and finished throwing all the trash out in the driveway right where he parked his truck. When he got home it was going to be a pile of shit in the driveway and good, he deserved it!

///////////

“What the fuck woman,” Mac said to himself as he pulled in to the driveway to see all the wet garbage in front of the garage. Of course, she threw it all out in the driveway, that was his girl. He looked at Izzy's crystal that now hung around his rear view mirror and asked for strength. She was fucking crazy sometimes, and he loved every minute of it. 

Loud and obnoxious, and stomping rainwater off his boots, Mac came busting through the front door and she was at the sink washing dishes. Part of him was furious with her, but part of him was so glad to be there at all, even when there was a pile of wet garbage waiting for him. Julie always went way the fuck too far when she was trying to prove a point though, she had been that way all her life.

“I said I was gonna do it!” He hollered as he stalked into the kitchen.

She turned to face him, “I got sick of waiting, I don't ask you to do much around here, I know you work your ass off for us, but Jesus Mac...”

“So you had to throw it out in the driveway?” He pushed his hair out of the way, “Now it's all fucking wet and the cardboard is gonna be a bitch to clean up.”

“Yup, I know,” She nodded, “I did it on purpose, you had it coming, I'm done with it Mac, you hear me? Done.”

“So what? You want a divorce over garbage,” He said with a laugh, pulled her close to him, and kissed her sweetly, “You can fucking forget about that, it says for better or for worse, that includes garbage.”

“Bad moon white again  
Bad moon white again  
And she falls around me.”

“There will never be a divorce,” Mac continued, “I'll stalk you till you die, or I do."

"You've been stalking me since we were twelve," She laughed and went back to the dishes.

"Sassy," He smacked her ass, "I think once these rug rats are in bed I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson about throwing trash in my driveway and mouthing off " 

"And you never hung up the shower curtain in the hall bathroom..."

“Keep it up Julie, keep running your mouth and watch what happens,” He grinned and she met his eyes over her shoulder. This was a good game to play, with three kids in the house now they had to stay connected to each other somehow. Loud fights over nothing that wasn't violent and mad flirting like this was commonplace in this house.

“Bring it,” She said with a raise of her eyebrows.

“You know by now I always bring it.” He answered.

Turning away Mac bent down and kissed Stella who was in her high chair. She raised her chubby arms at him.

"Hey Stella, your Mama is cray, you know that." Then he looked over at Julie, "Maybe you're pregnant again. You usually have a shorter fuse about shit when …"

"Jesus Mac bite your tongue we're already outnumbered here." She answered, "Also that's very sexist."

Did she really expect he wouldn't be sexist?

"I think you are, I'll bite my tongue for now but..." He wrapped his arms around her from behind and ran his teeth over her neck, "I'd rather bite here, and here and..."

Julie giggled and shuddered at the feel of his lips on hers, too soon he backed up from her and picked Stella up.

"Where's the boy?" He said, walking to the sliding door with Stella in his arms and looking outside.

"Backyard...he fixed the clutch on the bike and couldn't wait to try it out." At ten years old Michael already knew how to build a motor from top to bottom and worked with Mac in the garage often. They had just built a dirtbike together.

"Daddy!" Mac turned and Isabella was running to him from the other room where she had been watching TV, she wobbled on her toddler's legs, Mac smiled wide and picked her up too. Now he had two little girls in his arms, and nothing felt better.

"Hey Iz," He hugged her, "How's your day?"

"Good, daddy, it rained all day and we went shopping and then mommy cleaned out the garage...and she was saying some bad words," Mac looked over Izzy's shoulder and mouthed "pregnant" to Julie and when no kids were looking she gave him the finger.

“Later,” He grinned at her, and walked into the living room and sat down on the couch with Izzy and Stella to hear more about their day. Then he'd go outside and see what Michael was up to with that bike. With any luck, they'd get the kids in bed before midnight and he could make good on all those promises he just made.

“I needed you more  
You wanted us less  
Could not kiss just regress  
It might just be  
Clear and simple and plain  
Well, that's just fine  
That's just one of my names.

Don't let the days go by  
Could've been easier on you, you, you

Glycerine  
Glycerine

Glycerine  
Glycerine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so this is the first happy ending I have ever written for Mac and it feels weird but correct for this story. Usually, he dies, or the girl dies, or they both do, so this is way different for me. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did writing it xoxoxoxo Krissy Also the whole garbage thing happened at my house this week, I was fucking furious at my husband and threw it all in the driveway just like Julie did. LOL.
> 
> The End


End file.
